I stumbled.
And I noticed something.
I started digging
And eventually found a tunnel.
So I dug and I dug and I dug and I dug.
At some point I forgot why I was digging.
It became an obsession.
I just wanted to find the end.
Along the way I found many things. At first I found a pebble. Then seeds from trees.
I found little gifts all the way down.
I loved all of them. I found a glove with a note in it.
And I smiled.
The best thing I found was happiness.
I was happy every time i found something new along the way.
When I reached the end I found an empty room. I looked around and I felt so at peace. But my heart told me to go back.
I had gone too deep.
When I turned around I found that the tunnel had caved in behind me.
I couldn’t go back.
I had found what I was looking for.
But for some reason I was suffocating.
I didn’t feel lost. I didn’t feel confused. I was at the end of the journey. I had found what I wanted.
Suddenly a figure appeared in front of me. The one who I had been chasing this whole time. He was close enough to touch but I knew I couldn’t have him for myself.
I started to say “I love you” but the room caved in before I could.
An exit appeared before me. I crawled out.
I wanted him to do the same.
When I turned around…
He wasn’t there.
The tunnel was gone.
He had stayed inside. Because he had found his love. He had found his safe space.
I stood outside and cried.
As I cried
The rest of the world moved without me.
I cried.
While I lay there, it felt like the world was embracing me, but I never looked up.
As the tears dried I saw flowers growing all around me.
I saw the beauty I had been missing because of my selfishness and pain.
The flowers I had been watering for months without knowing were so beautiful.
I saw those flowers and I smiled. I looked at them for a long time, unsure of what to do.
At some point a breeze passed by me.
It showed me where to go.
I turned away from our flowers.
I walked away.
I can’t forget those flowers.
They were so beautiful.
Jul 6, 2022
Jul 6, 2022 at 1:03 AM UTC
Isn’t it simple? The fall into love
Of nothing else could I think.
We had just met, cyan eyes both
And both corrupt by drinks.
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 2:27 AM UTC
I let you fall in love with my words
I didn't realize that's all you would ever fall in love with
Oct 28, 2017
Oct 28, 2017 at 1:14 AM UTC
Do you see the things I do?
Do you hear the trees sing to you in silence,
The waters around you echo like song?
Does your heart act as bone - breaking upon too heavy an impact?
My fingers crave your flesh, your blood
Not sexually, not sensually (though for you I’d give much too much up)
You see, decisions i’ve made, chances I’ve decided to take
None result in utmost pleasure
Some, alas, reside in pain
Sadly, some have pain as choice
Others, pain becomes pleasure
Yet none I’ve made have yet to persuade my mind as you
Tragic isn’t it? My despair
My desires like a child’s
What I can’t touch, you I can’t have
My needs now dependant on dreams
Is it a fault of mine or mind?
A fault of human nature?
Or rather just when one is touched
By someone like no other?
I have no peace in resolve
I have no peace in ends
Do I dare to stop you here
With no false sense of closure?
So line by line, and by each letter
Do you become confused
Or do you now understand
Better than I do?
Can you explain my split brain?
Can you explain the tides?
The waves which crash over
These convoluted lines
The ocean breathes, the trees they sing
I pray you’ve seen it too
Yet pray to whom? I’ve no idea
I’d rather prey to you.
Oct 3, 2017
Oct 3, 2017 at 4:02 PM UTC
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 3:22 PM UTC
At times when I grow lonely
I read the messages you've sent
It's been a month
Since I've spilled my heart to you
You found some piece of me
A bit of reality I had lost
Sang melodies through the phone
And now silence rings
Trial and failure to clear my mind
Every thought leads to another
Then the others lead to you
Eventually I'll find peace
Peace a thousand miles from you
Only able to touch you through maps
Unable to touch you through words
Alcohol and doctorates now consume your time
Sep 11, 2017
Sep 11, 2017 at 4:45 AM UTC
Dearest oak tree how do you remain so still
As the winds whip and whistle through your leaves
How do you stand for a lifetime through chills
As the winter swallows all you've grown through the seasons
Larger you grow in an unfamiliar grove
While the flowers around you are replaced every year
There you stay as those around you sow
New crops and forget how you were placed here
Every morning you stand a bit taller
Though your branches begin to stoop low to the ground
The sun promptly sets and the earth looks smaller
Yet you remain as you were before the winds whipped around
Oh! Wise oak you've explained to me stability
Created a child of the earth and sea
Sep 11, 2017
Sep 11, 2017 at 4:37 AM UTC
He does this thing, you see
He uses large words with empty meanings
To show his empathy, or lack there of
It's his attempt at connecting
To most it's unnoticed
It stays below the scope of their awareness
But I've found where he places these
Horrible, horrifying, descriptives
Because I do the same, so I adore them
For him secrets do not remain secret to me
Because he is as I am, and I am as he
Aristophanes depicted him and me
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017 at 2:04 AM UTC
You told me not to compair the two of you
Because he loves me and you assume I love him
I told you I have too much love to give to someone like him
Because there's nothing to compare
Aug 17, 2017
Aug 17, 2017 at 11:45 PM UTC
To him I speak in tongues
My words foreign, obscene even
You understand don't you?
The gardens growing in my head
Pouring rose petals out of my mouth
Aug 17, 2017
Aug 17, 2017 at 11:44 PM UTC