Lifeofabirdy
Netherlands
When going through tough times, sometimes the only thing that pulls me through is writing it down. since my notes are full, I'd like to share some of my thoughts with you. Sometimes i won't make any sense at al. But i you look closely maybe you'll understand.
I've seen things, been through things
Things no one wants to think of
I got my downsides, bright sides
A smile you won't forget
But it will always be the cover-up
Of a live full of regrets
I wish you could walk in my shoes
See what this god puts me through
I'm not strong enough
And i tired of pretending i am
Put on my shoes take it over
Free me from my mind
Trying to fit in in this outcast world
Struggling with myself
Will i be loved
Would you like what you see
Will you stay here with me
Or just leave
As damaged as i am
too weak to even love myself
Please love me
Hold me
Maybe it would help
Apr 23, 2015
Apr 23, 2015 at 3:31 AM UTC
I'm sorry for wanting to much,
i'm sorry for holding on too tight,
i'm sorry for not giving enough
and i'm sorry for the fights.
i'm sorry for the things i said when i was mad,
i'm sorry i bothered you too much,
i'm even sorry for the things YOU said,
And i'm sorry for the times you've had enough.
I can't help being who i am
i'm sorry if i'm not enough
I feel like disappointing you
You keep growling at me
Please give me the reason
Please tell me what i could do
I don't want you to be mad
I cherish the moments you smile
I only see you grumpy or sad
I know you don't sleep much
I know you like to party a lot
But i crave to feel your touch
Hold me please
I feel so small
You say you don't want me to leave
But i can't take it all
I feel like bothering you all the time
How long will it take
before i finally break..
Please tell me once again you're mine...
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015 at 11:58 PM UTC
That one thing i craved for..
Only you didn't know
Always on my mind
a drug, poisoning me
A sick addiction
Cutting me off from reality
Each time you pulled me closer
Each time i felt you better
Each time you treaded me more the way i wished for
A one night stand
But the day after i didn't exist anymore
The torture of being nothing
Nothing more than a pleasure
Just a toy, what could i do
Everything was fine with me
As long as i could see you
Never an explanation
Till the day we got together
You cherished me
Like a wolf in sheep skin
And i, the sheep, was trapped
As you kissed my neck
Calling me 'his girl'
You told me you love me
You told me you're afraid i'll leave
You told me you're a selfish man
You told me you're struggling with yourself
The voices, they keep talking to you
I know you're scared
But i love you too.
Now we're here
There's nothing left
No tensity just insanity
You're The razor on my wrist
But the cuts relieve the pain
My biggest mistake but yet my happiness
Afraid to lose you
Pretending I'm fine
Exhausted of waiting
Too Scared to stand up
craving for your attention
waiting patiently till it's my time
You pull me closer to the edge
Pushing me further away from you
Just A tread saving me from the abyss
It's like waiting for the end
Wondering what you're holding behind your back.
Preparing for another day
Closing my eyes as a tear slips through my lashes
Wetting my pillow
Leaving a black stain
Trying to sleep, my thoughts keep me awake.
As i wrap my hands around your neck, holding my breath
Counting to three...
The razor cuts me again
So relieving, but still feels so wrong
I love you and With knives in my heart
I decide to give you one more chance
The last chance
Like i gave yesterday...
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015 at 10:29 PM UTC