I used to be a ray of sunshine
I had friends, no family issues, and no insecurities
I was skinny, I was toned, my hair was long and almost blonde.
But all of that changed after 7th grade.
I no longer see myself as a beauty queen
I no longer wear tank tops
I no longer like to wear my hair up.
I wear baggy clothes so no one can see my rolls
I wear lots of makeup but I still look weird in the mirror
No matter how confident I feel. The mirror will always tell me that there's something wrong.
I used to love eating as much as I wanted
But now I can hardly eat something without feeling guilty.
People say I'm skinny, but I'm not as skinny as I used to be.
Im no longer the 120 pound 13 year old me.
People say I'm pretty but why can't I see it?
I used to be a ray of sunshine.
Now I'm nothing but the cold moon.
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 9:52 AM UTC
a vape
that feeds dopamine
is inside my back pocket.
its like an electrical socket
that sparks the plug
that gives me an escape.
When I first was hit
with the shock.
I wasn't aware,
if I knew I would never have dared,
that one day I'd be a part of the flock.
that I can't go hours without it.
I want to quit
heaven knows I want to.
but I still find my way hitting one after the other.
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 9:44 AM UTC
I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you. I miss you all the time. You were truly my best friend.
I miss staying up late giggling telling old stories from when we were little.
I miss you being my everything, my platonic soul mate, my other half, and most of all my best friend.
No I would never be your friend again.
Yes I'm so mad at you for what you did, how you ended our friendship, and how you handled the situation.
I know you saw my flaws in the friendship
I will admit I was never the best, but neither were you. We were both equal.
In my upcoming dance recital I will admit, I will miss seeing you in the crowd cheering me on with a huge bouquet of flowers.
I know us not being best friends anymore is and was for the better, but I'd be lying if I didn't miss you in the end.
Apr 29
Apr 29, 2026 at 12:34 AM UTC
I had everything I wanted once
I woke up early
There was no acne on my chest
I no longer wished for rain
I found comfort in the sound of your warm deep voice
The sun spilled in and I didn't shut it out
My thoughts were for once silent
I was at peace
For some foolish reason
I thought it would never go away
But I'm glad I got to have
Everything I wanted
Even if it was just for a little while
Apr 3
Apr 3, 2026 at 6:20 PM UTC
Maybe you'll finally care when I'm laying in a casket,
my body nothing but cold and limp.
maybe you'll care about me.
when you're sitting at my grave.
when all you can hear are the birds chirping while you stare at my cold, lonely, and grey tombstone, with nothing but my name.
and maybe in that moment,
you'll regret a lot of things.
maybe when I'm gone you'll finally realize how much you love and miss me.
Mar 31
Mar 31, 2026 at 12:47 AM UTC
I yearn for Heaven
Unlike any other
But suicide won't land me there
So, instead, I'm stuck here
The Lord must still have use for me
Though I fail at everything miserably
I suppose I am inside a body
Capable of laboring
But everyone hates Christians
And I doubt I could convert them
I make a terrible disciple
And hardly read the Bible
Perhaps I'm a lesson
For one of His better children
I'm supposed to teach them patience
And how not to behave
If He could take me now
While I still believe
Since the Lord is gracious
Maybe I can get lucky
But I'm terrified
If He doesn't take me soon
If I'm not let out of my room
I'll fail at my faith too
I need Him to save me
Because I can't save myself
I'm begging
With tears in my eyes
Lord, please, let me die.
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 7:22 PM UTC
As upset and as angry as I am. I still miss you.
We were so close
In another life, things would have worked out, and we would still be friends.
You broke my heart. In a way I never knew my best friend of 10 years could do.
I'm disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be.
I hope one day you feel guilty for how you treated me. But it may not be this lifetime, it could be the next. But one day I hope you realize
That I still miss you.
The comfort of us being around each other, the secrets we would share, and the sound of our laughs filled with happiness and joy.
I still miss you.
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 7:18 PM UTC
Truly, I would love to live.
Anywhere other than in my head,
I truly would love to live.
But maybe I'll never have that luxury.
Prisoner to my own mind, I've never known a word of freedom.
And it is ironic, really, that the brain cannot feel.
To say that such an ***** is the core of my despair. Bitter, really.
I could tear out my hair and break apart everything in sight, but even that wreckage would be nothing compared to the one that is in my mind.
Still, truly I would like to live.
I would love to be saved and I would love to live.
To eat anything other than the burnt remains of my once brilliant constellation that rains down the sky.
Mar 12
Mar 12, 2026 at 6:16 PM UTC