When the blackened smoke
Leaves the trapper’s chimney
When the sun
Begins to rise
I will run
I will have had the courage
To rip off the leg
Stuck in the trap
And when his dogs
His soldiers of fortune
Bark and bellow
Surely
I will die
Jan 21, 2022
Jan 21, 2022 at 2:18 AM UTC
has my heart
bled for too long?
have I coated those I love
in my own blood?
perhaps
perhaps it's just
the order of things?
perhaps
I'm meant to bleed?
maybe my blood
may help others
and maybe
just maybe
I do deserve love
and a caring hand
perhaps
I am worthy
yes
yes I am
I've done
everything I can
I've done good
finally
I've done good.
it's good enough
just to try.
Jan 8, 2022
Jan 8, 2022 at 1:49 AM UTC
Failure
yet another failure
with sense
or liquor
it could never
be averted
then again
it was after you
he was a magnum
to my helpless heart
unexpected
powerful
you both set me alight
and watched as I burned
here is my charity
the poem you asked for
perhaps you wanted this
to hurt me to see more
you always did
love to read
these sad lines
these cries for help
Dec 25, 2021
Dec 25, 2021 at 10:17 PM UTC
sedate me
with sweet melody
deprive me
of words only we see
with you
sleep left too
my eyes don't function
not like they did
where there was hope
there is abyss
you destroyed our world
with one fell swoop
you
could never be mine
could you?
Dec 17, 2021
Dec 17, 2021 at 1:52 AM UTC
This is suffering
this is silence
to pierce my ears
like a sine lance
skin is paper
for the universe to burn
I will not
ever ever learn
God will it go away
this infernal pain
let me stop writing
writing away the pain
no longer is there meaning
only feelings
please someone
this is a cry for help
please someone
this is a cry for help
please please god
anyone
LET THE MUSIC STOP
LET IT GO
PLEASE
THERE IS NO ANGER
ONLY ANGUISH
PLEASE
HELP
HELP
HELP
I AM NOT A POET
I NEED HELP
I AM STRUGGLING
I NEED HELP
I AM FIGHTING
LIKE I WAS TOLD TO
NEVER ENOUGH
PLEASE I'M CRACKING
PLEASE I CAN'T BLEED
I CANNOT BREATHE
I NEED YOU
I NEED A RELEASE
I NEED
A SAFETY FOR THIS TRIGGER
GOD IT NEVER STOPS
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE
let it end
let it go
let me live
among the snow
that forest
of lies
is so repulsive
please
never go back
I won't
I never will
but it's coming after me
security in trees
the cracked walls
that hold my insecurities
please
god
it isn't going away
it's been so long
it doesn't leave
it doesn't form words
not real ones
I can't structure
in this muffled padded room
let me out
LET ME OUT
I WANT OUT
NOW HELPhelphelpnowgodhelpmenowhelpmenot losehelpmelivehelpmeliehelpmediehelpmelivehelpme diehelp me drive off a cliff help it go help it all help it all die die die leave leave leave shut the door shut the door SHUT IT SHUT IT NOW SHUT SHUT NOW NOW NOW I NEED HELPTHERE IS NO HELP NOT FOR ME NO PLEASE HELP IT'S GOINGgoinggoing control gone is here control is here please lock it away these scars will fade and you will live today
Dec 7, 2021
Dec 7, 2021 at 5:45 PM UTC
here one day
gone the next
just like
summer morning dew
beautiful and flourishing
until burned by the sun
it's like a knife
cutting daffodils
brutal, efficient
uncompromising
******
gasoline
poured on embers
embers
that hoped to die
I'll burn it all
all of it
and watch the flames
watching it all
slip hopelessly
into oblivion
Nov 9, 2021
Nov 9, 2021 at 3:07 AM UTC
I've seen
the woods and trees
the crooked stars
that lie between
and the stares
of hollow oaks
yes please
please spare some pity
let these rags
mend with twigs
and I'll ****
just to be worthy
hey there
you aren't a razor
what are you doing
in my home?
have I
taken the role?
have I
done it again?
Nov 4, 2021
Nov 4, 2021 at 12:50 AM UTC
Why
Why is your touch
So sweet
But your smell
Is horrid
Cigarettes
Their smell
Was never meant
To enter my lungs
Yet here we are
Little do you know
My dear
That I scrub myself
To get rid of the stench
Every time you go
I question myself
I question why
Why I beckon you back
When we rest together
The scent isn’t there
When you’re gone, everything you’ve touched must be washed
Isopropyl alcohol
I find it does the trick
An hour long shower
Before I rid my skin of it
You reek of sickness
Yet I want your touch
I want your embrace
Was I too hasty?
Did I make a mistake?
When you leave
I’m left with a mess
Spirits and odors that cling
To my clothes and skin
Oct 26, 2021
Oct 26, 2021 at 10:06 PM UTC
Chocolate
and tear-stained poetry
why the ****
did I believe
even for a second
that love could be easy
that I could fall
without breaking bones
and why
was I so ready to fall
what insanity
hate-driven entity
has caused this
this rift
as soon as I remembered
what it's like to love
that twitch
of my heart
the twitch I felt the first day
that told me you were special
that I had no choice
the twitch
of love
that I can't stop
a madness that will steal
all senses and wits about me
how fitting
that I should understand once more
the pain I have inflicted on others
through foolish heartbreak
foolish
foolish
heartbreak
Oct 22, 2021
Oct 22, 2021 at 8:21 PM UTC
Icing
upon cold death
piercing eyes
that know pain all too well
a voice
undeniable
soft, gentle
yet still finding an edge
you'll find it
you will
your lips
like peaches
each soft
and shimmering
I always wondered
how you could look in mirrors
and say you hate
that you hate what you see
though perhaps it's jealousy
that a mirror could hold it
an image of illustrious beauty
I always wondered
what it was
and I suppose
I always will.
Oct 3, 2021
Oct 3, 2021 at 1:45 AM UTC