Time
Time
Time
It chips away
At my mind
Heart runs astray
Rewind
I'm not insane
Just pine
I am prepared
It lies
After
All
These
Experiences
I never
Learn
To
Not
Hope
Sep 11, 2020
Sep 11, 2020 at 10:30 AM UTC
It's the days when you don’t cry,
But you don’t smile either.
It’s the days when you’re quieter than usual,
And people notice.
It’s the days when you aren’t quite thinking about anything.
But if someone asked you what was wrong,
You wouldn’t know where to start.
Jan 30, 2020
Jan 30, 2020 at 6:21 PM UTC
The day I was born to you
I was held with such care
You loved your dear daughter
Her perfect visage
Your expectations
Your future
Your fulfillment
I wanted to show you the world
I never asked for your vision
You loved your daughter
Her perfect visage
And rejected me
My expectations
My future
My fulfillment
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 6:46 AM UTC
Hi, Ma'am?
I am new here.
Do you know what happened?
Hello? Sir?
I don't have a phone
Can you please give me directions?
Hey, kid!
Can you hear me?
How do I go back?
Somebody, anybody?
I don't want this
Please help me out
You, there?
I think I messed up
I'm scared
Oh, God!
Think I left my wallet and ID
In my coffin
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 5:33 AM UTC
of one thing
i am sure
and that is
that i am
unsure of
myself
and it’s funny
how i can’t
sleep but my
chest closes its
eyes and hums
with a heartbeat
that is unsure of
itself, too.
i try to morph
into a body
i don’t feel
belongs to me
just so i can
fit somewhere
fit in somewhere
and i tell so
many stories
about the
universe, it
forever feels
like i am trying
to remain lost.
i am unsure
of myself;
connecting the
moles on my
skin as if they
will spell out
something bigger
so i can feel
like i matter,
at least for
a little while.
i sleep beside
myself, stare at
a reflection
so unfamiliar
i couldn’t even
identify it in
a crowd of
strangers, but
i am trying.
and one day
i’m sure i’ll
be sure
of myself but
until then,
i’ll morph into
someone i can
be proud of
and hope that
the universe
sends me back
to myself.
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 7:56 AM UTC
i’d rather write about the freckles on your back than think about all of the ways in which you quite possibly don’t love me.
i feel sick at the very thought of you picking me apart the way you did; fingers grabbing and stroking in a catastrophic symphony of skin and vulnerability.
let’s read between each other’s lines; share my sentences and punctuate my paragraphs with your mouth; because i can breathe easier on the mornings where i wake up wrapped around you.
because my moods change like the ******* seasons and the spinning in my head doesn’t want to stop.
you tell me that i should probably get a therapist because no one that thinks about all the ways in which they could **** themselves has an ounce of mental stability.
i tell you that i have been to four.
names faded into a blur with hazy snippets of conversation remaining.
20mg.
30mg.
you tell me that trust issues and scars aren’t endearing and i tell you that neither is counting up the potential number of pills needed to dissolve your body into the living room carpet.
let me sink inside your skin and make a home in your flesh;
i tell you about the nights where i lay awake in the bath turning the water red.
tragic, isn’t it.
you tell me that this isn’t how my head should work and i tell you that i already know. everything you could possibly tell me i already know.
i know that 400 calories a day isn’t normal, and my hands shouldn’t shake all the time.
i know.
please let me stitch myself into you, even just for a while; until i no longer feel dizzy and my world stops spinning.
i don’t need you to tell me that it will be okay, because honestly i don’t think it will be and, that in itself, is okay.
let me stitch myself into you, because my own skin can’t take it anymore.
let me call you back when my voice stops wobbling and my vision straightens out, but honestly, i’m terrified that it never will. what if this is it. headaches and tears and shaking and blood.
and the debilitating, gut-wrenching feeling of pure and euphoric emptiness.
tragic, isn’t it.
May 25, 2018
May 25, 2018 at 6:35 AM UTC
No one can know your pain
Not nearly as well as yourself
But the rope won't take it away
It just gives it to someone else
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 18, 2018 at 5:58 AM UTC
People walking ..in and out
I bite my tongue ..so not to shout
I did not ask ..for them to come
I didn't ask them ..to be done
Took me longer ..than it should have
I yearned harder ..than I could have
They're gone before ..I find the bleed
I would take the pain ..but it's not to be
I know I'm glad ..that I met you
But I'm so sad ..that I met you
I cannot find ..the words to say
While I do this to ..myself again
You're alone in crowds ..just like I am
I find myself ..lost in your mind
You make me laugh, you make me smile
For a change, I hope you ..stay a while
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 2:50 AM UTC
..do you ever feel?
Like you ended up..
..In the wrong Universe
wrong Galaxy..
..wrong Planet
wrong City..
..wrong Home
wrong Work..
..wrong Family
wrong Life..
..wrong Body
wrong shoes..
..wrong thoughts
wrong Soul..
..Like you Are
so Wrong..
..so lost
If only..
..you could imagine
What it would be like..
..to feel Right?
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 16, 2018 at 12:11 AM UTC
My home is like a fragile dream
A map scattered in my mind
How could it be a part of me
When there, I can find no sign?
I know there exists the beauty I seek
For it teases and leaves me yearning
For it, my heart has learned to speak
The tongues I would be let down in
I watch my days and years pass
Waiting for better ones to come
Now I'm looking back at the grass
And the sand and the shining sun
Am I not strong or am I too worn
Who is around to tell..?
God is a question I'm counting on
To send me answers at hell
Dare I wish for love to feel?
It comes and goes like waves
And leaves behind some parts to heal
Not quite the things I craved
Chemicals flowing in my body
Menace my emotional raft
Create memories with nobody
And overwhelm me till I laugh
However the truth I accept it now
I was born deviant and wrong
You can't combine the sky and ground
With things that don't belong
I don't mind the lies I'm told
You'll find my inner face alit
From the heat I take when truth unfolds
As long as I have someone to play with
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 7:41 AM UTC