Towards herself she was ambivalent
Because of this around others she chose to be reticent
She was feeling lament
However to hide it she kept her face as bland as cement
Evrery body looked at her and expected her to be serene and decent
Apr 25, 2016
Apr 25, 2016 at 3:05 PM UTC
He was sorrowful
Though it was innocuous,
He looked abject anyway
Apr 25, 2016
Apr 25, 2016 at 3:04 PM UTC
Alone in the dark with you where we can be ourselves
You put your arms around me and pull me so close that I can feel you breathing on me
I turn toward you and I can't see your smile but I know it's there
You kiss me softly and I realize there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here, right now
I kiss you back, only I kiss you harder
You slowly roll me over and tentatively climb on top
I allow this as my adrenaline starts to race as much as my heart
We are intimate and I'm more than okay with this
We don't do it all for fun
You love me and you show it more and more each day
I let every part of me show when I'm with you
You do the same...
I love you
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 2:20 PM UTC
*lonely nights,
verbal fights,
no more flying kites,
blind to imaginary knights,
losing sight of light,
this doesnt seem right,
life is no longer a delight,*
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016 at 1:25 PM UTC
Seeing you again is warming my heart
However it's melting my eyes
Should I be happy that you are in my life
Or should I be dodging the bullet and lock the door forever?
Maybe fate is handing me a second chance
Or maybe pain is looking for a way to dig deeper into my body and soul
Today has made me think
The thoughts are out of control
Should I take another chance?
Or should I look at the fact that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result?
Maybe...
Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 2:51 PM UTC
Everybody crying in the lonely hallway
Couples cuddling making you feel alone
Gossip going around like the plague
Surrounded by people but feeling a lack of friends
I put in ear buds because the silence is enough to drive me mad
In a building full of stress, hormones,hatred, and fear
All of us are stuck here for four horrible years
I'm in year three and it's getting the better of me
Highschool is a beast
A monster
Something I can not beat
These years are Hell
This year has been worse than the rest
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 12:58 PM UTC
Third wheeling all my friends but
Having nobody for myself
Trying hard in choir
However nobody in my family cares enough to come to the show
Trying my best to be somebody
But I'm a shadow on the wall
I'm the person who feels alone and cries in the bathroom stalls
All I want is somebody to pay attention to me
Not to be alone all the time or to feel so empty
I'm not an attention *****
I just want somebody to know I'm there
Recently I feel like nobody will ever care
I continue my days faking smiles
While going about my feelings on my own
Even when I tell people how I feel
No attention is ever shown
This draws me near the bleeding
Closer to the thought of death
Would anybody care enough to pay attention then?
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 12:17 PM UTC
I'm trying hard
I feel stuck
How many hours does it take to obtain knowledge?
My nose is in my books and my hand is writing every free second
So why am I stuck?
Has my brain shut down after the honor roll?
Or am I allowing my life interfere with my studies?
I don't know but something has to change
ACT is next week and the stress is destroying me
School, drivers ed, work, guitar, homework then bed
Oh my God my poor **** head
On top of the fullest of schedules my family is highly dysfunctional
I feel as though I won't make it to 12th grade
Is the adult life going to be this stressful?
I just paid two bills
I received my tax return
Growing up too **** fast
What else is there that I need to learn?
I cook I clean
I pretty much do everything
What the heck else is left for me?
My brain is on overdrive
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 2:04 PM UTC
Don't hate him
as he holds you by your throat
Don't hate him
as he cusses out my sisters
Don't hate him
*as he calls me a worthless piece of ****
Don't hate him
as he doesn't let me do my homework and I get an F on it
Don't hate him
as he makes you pay for everything
Don't hate him
as my sister lays in bed crying
Don't hate him
as he brain washes you and takes your strength away
Don't hate him
as he makes me loose respect for you
Don't hate him
as the house is dead silent because we can't make a sound
Don't hate him
as he bullies me for everything
Don't hate him
as he brings everybody down
Don't hate him
as I give him yet another chance
Don't hate him
as he makes me start to hate you
Don't hate him
as he takes you away
Don't hate him
as I wish I wouldn't live another day
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 2:56 PM UTC
I don't want to live
However I don't want to die
I'm surrounded by abuse no matter where I go
I want to run away
Leave everybody behind and never look back
There's people I would miss
I'm tired of giving fourth chances
Hell I'm tired of giving anybody a second chance!
I'm not allowed to do anything about it
Because according to authority I'm considered minority
So I have to live with abuse
Im almost an adult but I have no idea what a happy home looks like
How am I supposed to have a family of my own
When I have no ******* idea on how to live at home
My whole life I've been shown that it's okay for a man to abuse me
It's okay to have hours and hours of housework
It's okay for mom to sleep on the couch
It's okay for my youngest sister to be trapped in her bed all day
It's okay to have anxiety and to stereotype everything
It's okay to give chances until you don't ******* care anymore!
It's totally normal to have gone to 6 schools in your life and to move every two years or less because a man makes you
It's okay for everybody to run my ******* life except for me!!!!!
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 2:47 PM UTC