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Karl_Speaks
38 A reflection on the journey through pain, healing, and the return to self. Exploring lifes messy, chaotic, and beautiful imperfections.
Poems1
“A reflection on obstacles, pain, and the messy journey to healing and self-love.” THE MANIPULATION You say I’m ugly… and no one will love me. That scar left my heart bruised — and heavy. I don’t know why you hurt me… I’m loving you with all my body. That trap that you laid… it isn’t funny. I keep on falling for these stories — Pushing me away when things got intense… Was this my fault?… This makes no sense. Keeping me close while inside you’re laughing… Falling for you… feels so exciting! ⸻ THE MASK Seeing through your mask… inside you’re hiding. Won’t let me see the inner child crying. Opening up to tell you my TRUTH… That wasn’t easy — my heart’s through the roof! The way you hurt me… I felt so used — vulnerable, weak, afraid, and confused… How didn’t I see your red flags sooner? Sometimes the abused becomes the ABUSER. Holding onto hope… you led me to see. Playing these games — you didn’t want me. How do you go on without even THINKING? How manipulation can leave somebody sinking… My self-respect — it’s slowly dying. Why can’t nobody see me crying… Deep inside this guilt… this pain. I’m still healing — this hurt, this shame. ⸻ DÉJÀ VU You say I’m short — and handsome. How could I let your games hold me for ransom… Your smile won me — right from the start. Your eyes found a way to my soul’s heart. Lost in this pain… fighting the dark. Two worlds torn — perfectly apart. Holding on to this connection… Suffocating me with affection. It feels like lifetimes my heart’s longed for you… You couldn’t show up — you couldn’t be true. Stuck in the cycle of your games… Trying to break free from your fame. The way you stare — I blush… you see me. When I look deep — your eyes… they look EMPTY. This love’s got a grip — it hurts, it’s blinding. Why can’t I break free… these spells, love binding? Your words… their spells — it’s like I’m on drugs. Throwing them around, being spiritual thugs. The way you came in with all of that ENERGY… Made me feel seen… heard… and ready. That really hurt — when you pulled away. Seeing the truth in NOTHING to say. This thrill that you get from hurting me… it’s SICK! Manipulative, psychotic, narcissist… Constructs of the mind and hierarchy… Fibonacci spirals — order, Machiavelli frequency. It’s hard to see what exactly this is… Twin flame love — or just another karmic? Even though no words were spoken… It still felt like my heart had been broken! ⸻ WHERE IT BEGAN The real question is — how can I feel safe? All these years later… I’m still caught up in your **** This home that you built — where I’m supposed to thrive… Where I spent most of my time learning to survive. The way that you struck — brought me to my demise. That blade hit hard — cold, calculated… so precise. This childhood of mine — when I was blooming… You mistook my softness — conditioned love… that’s grooming. Coming down hard with strangulation… Instead of teaching self-regulation. When your eyes smile bright — and you’re standing tall… It’s easy for life to cave… and you fall. The angels said… when you cry, we cry… Then they laughed — yeah, that’s right… they lied. With all of these words flowing through this pen… I’m still trying to put me together again. ⸻ THE RETURN HOME How could I be foolish… so naïve to see? The biggest lesson that you taught me — Was showing me how to really LOVE me! Even though this weight is heavy… Thank you for the blessing you gave me. It’s time to let go… so I can be FREE. These shackles and chains — no longer constrict me. You’ve been a big part of my healing journey… All this time lost — wishing, hoping, dreaming, anticipated. Remember the youniverse that you and I created. I’ve spent too long looking back from afar… Maybe it’s time I made that wish upon a star. Now it’s time for me to sit upon this throne… Hold on, dear child — at last… finally — I’m coming home. I don’t know if this could be any clearer… You came into my life — the perfect mirror. Was this fate? Or natural selection? This beautiful, perfect, IMPERFECTION! Although I’m still struggling to navigate this monsoon… One day soon… my smile will be brighter than the moons. I’m learning to love me again. One day soon, I will be free from this hurt — from this pain. Realising I’d been trapped in these patterns I survived… WOW! — the way you made me feel so alive. I never knew it could feel so good to start living. I won’t ever forget this amazing blessing — This beautiful gift that keeps on giving. I’m not sure what’s next — or what I’m gonna do. All I know is… that I want to THANK YOU!
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Feb 7
Feb 7, 2026 at 7:55 AM UTC
Karl_Speaks
My Soul Cries
“A reflection on obstacles, pain, and the messy journey to healing and self-love.” THE MANIPULATION You say I’m ugly… and no one will love me. That scar left my heart bruised — and heavy. I don’t know why you hurt me… I’m loving you with all my body. That trap that you laid… it isn’t funny. I keep on falling for these stories — Pushing me away when things got intense… Was this my fault?… This makes no sense. Keeping me close while inside you’re laughing… Falling for you… feels so exciting! ⸻ THE MASK Seeing through your mask… inside you’re hiding. Won’t let me see the inner child crying. Opening up to tell you my TRUTH… That wasn’t easy — my heart’s through the roof! The way you hurt me… I felt so used — vulnerable, weak, afraid, and confused… How didn’t I see your red flags sooner? Sometimes the abused becomes the ABUSER. Holding onto hope… you led me to see. Playing these games — you didn’t want me. How do you go on without even THINKING? How manipulation can leave somebody sinking… My self-respect — it’s slowly dying. Why can’t nobody see me crying… Deep inside this guilt… this pain. I’m still healing — this hurt, this shame. ⸻ DÉJÀ VU You say I’m short — and handsome. How could I let your games hold me for ransom… Your smile won me — right from the start. Your eyes found a way to my soul’s heart. Lost in this pain… fighting the dark. Two worlds torn — perfectly apart. Holding on to this connection… Suffocating me with affection. It feels like lifetimes my heart’s longed for you… You couldn’t show up — you couldn’t be true. Stuck in the cycle of your games… Trying to break free from your fame. The way you stare — I blush… you see me. When I look deep — your eyes… they look EMPTY. This love’s got a grip — it hurts, it’s blinding. Why can’t I break free… these spells, love binding? Your words… their spells — it’s like I’m on drugs. Throwing them around, being spiritual thugs. The way you came in with all of that ENERGY… Made me feel seen… heard… and ready. That really hurt — when you pulled away. Seeing the truth in NOTHING to say. This thrill that you get from hurting me… it’s SICK! Manipulative, psychotic, narcissist… Constructs of the mind and hierarchy… Fibonacci spirals — order, Machiavelli frequency. It’s hard to see what exactly this is… Twin flame love — or just another karmic? Even though no words were spoken… It still felt like my heart had been broken! ⸻ WHERE IT BEGAN The real question is — how can I feel safe? All these years later… I’m still caught up in your **** This home that you built — where I’m supposed to thrive… Where I spent most of my time learning to survive. The way that you struck — brought me to my demise. That blade hit hard — cold, calculated… so precise. This childhood of mine — when I was blooming… You mistook my softness — conditioned love… that’s grooming. Coming down hard with strangulation… Instead of teaching self-regulation. When your eyes smile bright — and you’re standing tall… It’s easy for life to cave… and you fall. The angels said… when you cry, we cry… Then they laughed — yeah, that’s right… they lied. With all of these words flowing through this pen… I’m still trying to put me together again. ⸻ THE RETURN HOME How could I be foolish… so naïve to see? The biggest lesson that you taught me — Was showing me how to really LOVE me! Even though this weight is heavy… Thank you for the blessing you gave me. It’s time to let go… so I can be FREE. These shackles and chains — no longer constrict me. You’ve been a big part of my healing journey… All this time lost — wishing, hoping, dreaming, anticipated. Remember the youniverse that you and I created. I’ve spent too long looking back from afar… Maybe it’s time I made that wish upon a star. Now it’s time for me to sit upon this throne… Hold on, dear child — at last… finally — I’m coming home. I don’t know if this could be any clearer… You came into my life — the perfect mirror. Was this fate? Or natural selection? This beautiful, perfect, IMPERFECTION! Although I’m still struggling to navigate this monsoon… One day soon… my smile will be brighter than the moons. I’m learning to love me again. One day soon, I will be free from this hurt — from this pain. Realising I’d been trapped in these patterns I survived… WOW! — the way you made me feel so alive. I never knew it could feel so good to start living. I won’t ever forget this amazing blessing — This beautiful gift that keeps on giving. I’m not sure what’s next — or what I’m gonna do. All I know is… that I want to THANK YOU!
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