I gently weep to the sound of silence that surrounds me
Where have you all gone?
Why have you deserted me?
The sticky flames roll down my cheeks as they start to bleed bright red pigment under my skin.
I’m not okay.
But that was yesterday
Today I got up
I swept my floor
Polished the furniture
Removed the spots of my tarnished yesterday from the silver of today.
Today?
What is today?
Today is the day I said no more
Sadness, anguish, depression, anxiety
No more
Pain, suffering, laziness, exhaustion
Today I am new
Tomorrow I am strong
I am beautiful and wise
My testimony shines through the tiny cracks of my bleeding heart
Piece by piece I will mend my broken soul
I may not be okay tomorrow, or even next week. But I know, one day, I can say:
Today, I am okay.
Nov 16, 2018
Nov 16, 2018 at 1:31 AM UTC
Cigarette smokes fills my nostrils as my head rests on my pillow.
Wet cheeks begin to warm as my anxiety intensifies.
2:30am
No sleep
Hungry but full
Tired but overwhelmed with insomnia
Mirrors surround me as I try and close my eyes but gently weep.
The glare so vivid, I can still see the monsters watch me sleep.
Oh wait, their inside my head.
4:27am
Hands in my hair
Legs won’t stay still
Tongue is begging for a drink.
I’m hopeless.
When will the nightmares stop?
Will I ever be able to dream without seeing a glimpse of my past?
Where can I hide from my demons?
Why do i let myself get this down?
How do I make the loud quiet?
I’m hopeless.
7:21am and finally fell asleep.
The light shining through the window breathes warmth on my bare feet.
Another day, another reminder that darkness will fall once again.
My eyes will remain open until I am no more.
Nov 16, 2018
Nov 16, 2018 at 1:28 AM UTC
Sunshine falls upon your auburn hair
As the sweat drips down your nose onto your shirt.
The light dances upon your wet skin as the cool water touches your tongue.
She looks at you with amazement in her eyes as if she’s found a prize.
Her emerald eyes glisten with fascination as your muscles clench with every move.
Her lips spread to call your name in hopes for a kiss.
The heat is not what is burning her skin, it’s the fire in her eyes as she looks at you.
Sunsets, storms, eclipses, and meteor showers are all phenomena’s of the world.
But you weren’t an object.
You were a feeling. An emotion. A physicality.
She didn’t know her heart was an acrobat until you danced on the tightrope with it.
Flight is something she use to fear but now craves it like an addict craves a fix.
You were her high.
Birds fly high in the sky but always come back down.
Not a day has gone by where I have hit the ground since I have met you.
A breath of fresh air I have taken.
Breathed in something that was so intoxicating.
Loved someone so deserving of love.
Gone to sleep with the desire of dreaming of the day when you are the first face I see in the morning and last as I fall into oblivion.
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 6:55 PM UTC
Seasons change and leaves had browned.
Here i am sitting, hoping for a single sound.
Flowers begin to wither away
I thought it was just any other day.
A year has passed
I never knew that conversation would be the last.
The yelling, the screaming.
God, just give me some meaning!
Im exhausted Lord, i need advice.
Why was my mother to be a sacrifice.
Lord i love you, but why so much pain?
My eyes are full of vision, but what do i gain?
Mother, father, are you there?
I feel you everywhere.
The smell of amber and vanilla i think of you.
You are gone but still here too.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 10:11 PM UTC
Alone
Tear stained pillow case
Mascara chunks on my cheeks
Just trying to feel safe.
Alone
Feet frozen in place
Body shaking with panic
Heart is shattering
Alone
Eyes red and puffy
Ears are ringing with silence
Nose runs yet stuffy
Alone
People all around
Why does the room feel empty
I am all alone
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 10:09 PM UTC
I looked through the kaleidoscope only to see the nameless faces of those who once crossed my path.
I dreamt of a face who i once knew so well, but so quickly turned into that of a memory.
Those eyes of onyx and hair of sand took me by suprise as i only knew you by your voice.
That glistening pearlescent smile blinded me as reflects of enamel danced with my heart.
Only by a picture did i realize that i had entered into a rabbit hole in which couldn't be jumped out of.
Only by a voice did i learn of the many ways that a girl can be loved.
I sat underneath the decaying roof as i listened to your vocal chords sing with a deep tone that took my breath away.
How did i know an innocence could be so ******
The birds crowed as i learned of my troubled future. The ants scattered as i would step on what was once their sanctuary.
But who would've known a similar voice would spin me around only to leave me in a corner for you to pick me up.
The golden sun rose only to set again.
Her olive skin reflected that of her hardships. Her emerald eyes made those who met her grow full of envy.
Prince Charming was to late, but was still desperately wanted.
She wanted him to rescue her, but she would always wake up.
His voice once again became a memory.
Those faces that once danced within her eyes were now turning to ash.
Those voices turned into that of a deafining silence.
It was then she realized, the once so colorful kaleidoscope had shattered into pieces to small to be fixed.
The dances of those faces she once knew so well began to disappear.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 10:08 PM UTC
Leaves blow in the dusty wind
Young hearts go sepearate ways
A child is born and an elder has died.
We call this the season of life.
Trees blooming pink little fruits
Bees pollinate to drink the nectar
Grass blows in the mild chilly wind
The drizzle of rain falls on my cheeks
Red fills his cheeks as he kicks his little feet
The lighting strikes one more tree
Air is scorching his skin under his shirt
Cold air blows upon her face
Orange and yellow fill the streets
The couple on the porch open the newspaper
Bark on the tree begins to fall
The sounds of trick or treat are in every ear.
White flakes dance in the sky above them
Warm cocoa fills their throats
That last bit of warm air leaves their lungs
All to be reborn once again.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 10:06 PM UTC
A rabid ******
with a fix from hell
tumbled into sleep
then death she fell
In her head it was hopeless
her heart a broken harp
arm an open wound
her life tragic art
Poisonous mush was relieving
better than so called love
pin ****** kept her breathing
the past weighed too much
On such a day I feel sorry
she never stood a chance
addiction was the corollary
of the waltz she had to dance
Apr 4, 2018
Apr 4, 2018 at 10:26 AM UTC
On my walk home after night shift,
I stumbled on something horrific,
I saw him through the dark mist,
So surreal yet unrealistic.
Against time i began the race,
Went to see if he still drew breath,
But it was clear by the colour of his face,
That he lay there cold in death.
I know i shouldn't have, but some how i did,
Pulled a note from his right breast pocket,
I dont know why, but i opened it,
It was neatly titled "To be forgotten"...
Confused i started to read,
I soon realized it was a letter,
Started to feel i couldn't breathe,
As it couldn't have been written better!
If i am to be found by one,
One as unlucky as you,
If you find me and my life is done,
Please take just a second or two.
My name is not important,
As it was not important in life,
I've been called names of assortment
Even "Savage" once or twice.
I tried my best and it all fell apart,
See i did not have a home,
I lead my life by following my heart,
And i ended up alone.
If ever i could, i always did,
Give to someone in need,
A teen, a dog, an elder or kid,
In hope i might just plant a seed.
Each day I'd watch my brothers and sisters,
Run to or from their life demands,
I'd sit and rub my blisters,
On my feet and on my hands.
Nothing truely important is real or being looked after,
Where are the trees? Where is the love? The music of genuine laughter.
Nothing made me angry as i understood it all,
Reasons behind reasoning, I lay down and you stand tall.
Life was life. It is what it is. I'm not anything but at peace.
Just want someone to know its not a problem if i am to decease.
Nobody cared for me, especially not as i did for others,
I do not have any caring sisters, friends nor brothers.
Use of me what you can, then dispose of me the cheapest,
Because even though I was not loved, for my people i feel the deepest.
Poor soul who find me laying here,
May i ask you one small request?
For me please shed a single tear,
Feel a small pain in your chest.
Let your soul grieve a loss,
As mine will fly on through,
This request is free of cost,
Rather asking of what's inside you.
For me you do not need to pray,
Nor need to think of me often,
Just kindly see my soul away,
For i know i lived to be forgotten.
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 30, 2018 at 3:47 AM UTC
The touch that is so desired by me
That i am finally able to see
This is what i have been missing.
Voices so clear but not so near
Oh honey, you are so dear
To my heart that didn't happen from the start
But now it is.
Thank you sparks.
You see my love,
My worth has not been a priority
Within all of my relationships it was delegated seniority
But why?
My beauty and my grace
Were never seen past a pretty face.
But with you i feel safe.
With you im home.
No matter how near nor far
My heart will follow you wherever you are
What may be wanted may not be true,
But i do know, no one is as good as you.
You see here lover, you instilled a confidence inside
To where never again do i want to hide
When i was born to stand out
In the middle of any crowd, and for that, i say thank you.
Thank you lover.
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018 at 1:45 AM UTC