We ******* did it kiddo.
After all the tears and breakdowns we ******* did it.
Sure we don't have everything we dreamed of.
We're not rich
We're not famous
We're not married
We're not a gallery artist
But we're the best thing that's ever happened to so many people.
And the best we've ever felt about ourself.
But, i'm sorry.
I'm sorry i don't remember how you feel.
I'm sorry can't feel that pain anymore.
I'm sorry that if we met i couldn't empathize with your pain.
I'm sorry that when i look in the mirror i see........him.
We didn't really "beat" that demon, we assimilated him.
We still see those lovely eyes in the mirror.
We still hear Baphy whispering to us.
We still fall away from reality into that dreamworld
We still can't bear the thought of being forgotten.
But we've come so far....
We didn't give up.
We didn't wait for someone to save us.
We gave up on the world and save ourself
We were destined for pain.
And destined to overcome.
We were destined for possession.
And destined to flip it on him.
We were destined to be destroyed.
And destined to be reborn a destroyer.
Mar 11, 2022
Mar 11, 2022 at 6:15 AM UTC
I always do this. Every. ******* Time.
Guess this is what i get for living.
I can read you. I know you know somethings wrong.
Too bad i don't know either.
Add that to the 300 page-list of **** i don't know.
I don't know why
I don't know how you can help
I don't even know if there is help.
I don't know why i always end up like this.
I don't know what's wrong with me,
I don't even know if there is something wrong with me.
But i do know you're not the first.
But maybe you're the last.
i don't know if you'll stay.
maybe you will.
I don't know what i'll do, how i'll change, or even if i can change for you.
maybe i'll find out, if i keep reading you.
Mar 2, 2018
Mar 2, 2018 at 4:25 PM UTC
I feel closer to you when i make you cry, I don't know why.
I think it's because it lets me know you care, that i'm not alone.
I love the smile on your face when i calm you down.
Later on, we act like we didn't fight
that those silent moments and skewed glances weren't meant to ****
I guess it's cuz we love each other.
>>But are we?
Duh.
I mean, look at me.
I made it out of that place i was in,
all thanks to you,
and your smile
and your body
and your me.
yeah, i'm yours now.
All cuz i wanted to be closer.
Mar 2, 2018
Mar 2, 2018 at 4:24 PM UTC
A pandimensional murderer invaded my mind,
and there's nothing I can do about it
to be completely honest I don't think I mind
cuz at least now there's two of us.
Dec 27, 2017
Dec 27, 2017 at 5:05 AM UTC
You and I, Loners
Euphoria as Stoners
Love, Never Sober
Dec 18, 2017
Dec 18, 2017 at 6:49 AM UTC
I wish I could say I love you
or that I cared
or that I'd even give a **** if you heard my cries for help
but you don't
so **** YOU.
Drop dead
I'm not everything that you wanted so you're scared.
I'm still your son you *************
you should still care.
Disappointment or not, I'm not a demon
I just have one.
and you do too.
And now you're trying to give me yours
I don't want them.
I wish I could say I'm sorry
for what I said
or that I had any kind of love left for you two
but I don't
so **** YOU
drop dead.
And for everything that it's worth I hope you don't burn in hell
just on earth.
Dec 18, 2017
Dec 18, 2017 at 6:35 AM UTC
I never understood science.
How can you have objective theories,
of a subjective reality?
What exists in my world might never be true in yours.
I believe in angels, demons, God, etc.
But they mightn't exist to you.
And that's why reality is individual.
Because we believe in our beliefs
and we make our realities accommodate them.
And I believe that you exist.
If not, I'm about to make reality my *****
Dec 18, 2017
Dec 18, 2017 at 6:09 AM UTC
"Tu solus puer, non solum tenebris est, et mori pro populo. Fortis puer es, sed ego sum ultra vires; Ego in finem, et venerunt tibi"
"You are alone child, there is only darkness for you, and death for your people.
You are strong child, but I am beyond strength; I am the end, and I have come for you."
Dec 18, 2017
Dec 18, 2017 at 5:37 AM UTC
I'm a hellspawn suffering, in a world of angels
Perfection and happiness, so never attainable
alienated from the ones I love,
turbulent but forever low.
Dying slowly and bathed in anguish,
emotions I'll never show.
Ballad of the Baphomet's first born, my seventeenth and final poem
soul is forever split down the middle but I always lean to evil, I don't know how or why.
guess that's what happens when you expose a tortured soul.
thought I'd find warmth in love, but you know how that goes
cuz tenacity and optimism, were seeds that were never sewn
I sound pessimistic but happy feelings I've outgrown
in my soul I feel a torrential void of darkness and repressed unshowns
and fire where the demons lurk,
it's no surprise I'm alone.
cuz no one's a ******* artist, I'm a minority in my household
and in my country too.
always defeated, always retreating
no-one to run too, I have to face my demons
but I lost that fight, my entrails hang from the ceiling
gave them passage to my heart, through the ****** sequins
I smoke cuz I'm afraid of the thoughts i think when i don't sleep enough
like how I'm worthless and undervalued,
the true thoughts I optimistically decline.
I know you love me but I don't love myself
and that's the ******* problem, I got ******* problems
and no way to solve them
except a brain and solemns,
but they don't solve my problems.
Cuz it's in the silence,
that I hear the violence,
between my eyelids,
and that's why I don't sleep I cry.
i have four dimensions, soul, mind, body and spirit
but i'm down to three, cuz i sold my body to spirits
lost my mind, and now my spirit's gone too
nothing but a shell and his soul, is this what it's come to?
goodbye world, I'll miss you dearly
but I'm not right for you, you've shown that clearly
I can't even die in peace, cuz the silence speaks
it has my voice, it says
"Cry to me, I gave you darkness and I can take it back.
Give me your last dimension, and I can save you.
Your soul's already broken, might as well let me fix it
I'll give you the debts the world was owing you, and three sixes
and for future reference you can call me savior."
and I sat there, didn't have **** to say
but I did look him in his eyes
and I said **** you; but ask me later.
Dec 18, 2017
Dec 18, 2017 at 5:25 AM UTC
and there it is, my descent into madness.
But what you call madness is my clarity.
My self-realization would be stigmatized by your ignorant labels.
Amazing how what we, well, what you don't understand is suddenly the enemy
Which was my epiphany,
I feel like an enemy, a demon, a virus, because I am
because you don't understand me that's how you see me
what I am, is an artist
a minority among the untaught evils that rule our society
So instead of me speaking like a rebel without a cause
I'll talk to you like an artist.
I'm Raffiki in a space-suit, I'm ice king in a nebula.
I'm so spaced out that my toes dance on the belt that bind big planets
long story short I'm a wizard, I'm not of this world and never have been
Dec 18, 2017
Dec 18, 2017 at 5:07 AM UTC