tick tock
first
I walk
tick tock
then
I run
tick tock
when
the world
comes
crashing
down
around me
tick tock
I stop
tick tock
as the fiery
inferno
of oblivion
tick tock
swallows me
tick tock
I am
forgotten
tick tock
a single star
in the abbys
of a universe
tick tock
times
up
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 10:05 AM UTC
Help me up
as you push me down
listen to me
with your deafened ears
look at me
through your blinded eyes
hold me down
while I try to fly
Away
from the confusion
and desperation
of being
without you
Shove me away
So you can catch me
as I fall
into the
painless
oblivion
of finally
getting
over
you....
You catch me
before I let go
because
you want to watch
as I tear myself to peices
with all the hate
and regret
I bury deep inside
You watch
as I destroy myself
because of what
you’ve done to me...
But thats alright...
I deserve it.
He doesn’t.
You pretend to love me
so you can hurt me
that much more
You pretend you want me
as if
I even
cross your mind...
Different worlds
Different languages
I dont know
what its like
where you come from
but here
breaking my heart
over and over
is not a game
because
I am not
stuck
in oblivion
any longer
I am here
and I
can feel
The pain
of rejection...
Love is overreated anyways...
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 10:04 AM UTC
the circus freak
walking the tightrope
day and night
night and day
never stopping
always falling
Protected
by the loneliness
of
Pain
Or so he thought
The circus freak
Left
In the dark
crying
hurting
hating
The circus freak
walking the tightrope
night and day
day and night
falling
falling
Falling
Still in pain (more or less)
Fear (less and more) alone
The circus freak
walking the tightrope
day and night
night and day
never stopping
always
falling....
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 10:01 AM UTC
Sometimes
confusion
is pain
the regret
loss
undefined
all my feelings
crushed together
into a fiery ball of agony
burning
in the middle of
my heart
sometimes
confusion
is an escape
the lonliness
and hurt
of rejection
lost
in the rush
of feelings
images
sounds
the pain in my legs as i run
almost blocks out
the pain
that is within
almost...
confusion
i hear
everything
and
nothing
tears blur my vision
but no one see’s
i can run away from him
but I cannot escape the fire
burning away
its hurts
but maybe
it will burn
the feelings
turn the sadness and jealousy
to ash
looking down
seeing everything
but at the same time
seeing nothing
how can I feel so much
when no one else
can feel a thing...
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 10:00 AM UTC
I put them up
again and again
but the walls
kept tumbling down
I have to hide the truth
Inside myself
and so now its time
to build
the crumbling barriers
back up
from the bottom
of the souless pits
I hide inside
right back to the top
dont hold back
dont look down
please dont get to close
its dark inside
but your eyes
they shine bright
I can’t take that light
there is no escape for me now
and if you fall
you will be stuck with me
in oblivion
The path to heaven
is thin
and it lies
through miles of clouded hell
run
right to the top
dont look back
dont slip
or all that will be left
is a fading sillohette
I’m hearing what you say
But I cant make a sound
I’d take another chance
another fall for you
but as you turn your back
I count the steps
until I’m on my own
I need you here
like my heart needs a beat
but the pain,
It’s nothing new
Im afraid
shaking hands
Take the wheel
I can’t look back
Every glance
is killing me
I thought I was moving
but I go nowhere
I’d give anything
to be free again
to go
somewhere
anywhere but here
Yea, i know that everyone gets scared
but I know I can’t escape you
this time...
But if you closed your eyes
would you finally see me?
If you closed your eyes
would you see what I see?
Untie the weight bags,
never thought i could
but they are stuck there
I knew i couldn’t
push and shove
but I am tied to you
in ways that I cannot explain
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 9:59 AM UTC
Inside is war
outside it pours
falling into oblivion
Im not afraid
death is simple
easy
it is the people
I leave behind
that will suffer...
Inside is war
outside it pours
the rain drums on the ground
rythmic
insistent
unstoppable
uncaring
unfased
as the bullets streak by
the puddles
turn red
the water
cold and innocent
tainted with fear
anger
and death
Inside is war
The blood runs thick within my veins
innocence threatened
by the dark war
raging within
Outside it pours
the rain beats down
insistent
but quiet
a background noise
a side effect
but demanding
to be noticed
and so the rain pours down
no one notices
the war
no one notices
the death
because the rain is pouring down
thick
wet
silent
a blanket between reality
and the pain within
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 9:58 AM UTC
Trapped
between reality and pretence
I don’t understand
how both
can hurt this bad
A fire burning
Turning me to ashes
from the inside out
but thats alright
I deserve it
and I know
I cannot escape this
the hurt
fear
and regret
fester in my soul
leaving an empty pit
where love once was
where love
will never be again
Now
its too late
The walls have come
crashing down
swallowing me
as the darkness within
finally breaks free
and I could apologise
But
Nothing
I can say
will mend the tear
in the fabric of the universe
Nothing
Except the one thing
I cannot say
Because
I
don’t
lie....
Or I would be
Just like you
And, trust me, I
would rather
die....
And so now
I am trapped
Hopelessly
I know there is no way out
But that wont stop me from trying
I wont give up
There has to be another way
Because I cant
stay trapped
between
reality and
pretence
forever...
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 9:56 AM UTC
Theres nothing left to see now
the circus has finally closed
I sigh
as the freakshow begins
I stand down
lost
alone
my vision clouds
but I see everything
as the tent fills with shadows
I watch their faces
cruel laughter
lighting up their eyes
I run
frantic
as the empty seats are filled
by all the other outcasts
desperate
to laugh at someone else for a change
at least
something good
would have
come out
of my useless life
all Ive ever done
is hurt people
then again
theres a first time
for everything...
The shadows
they stare
as if
they havent heard
of things like me before
abominations
monsters
I cant tell
if they really see me
they would be the first...
I watch
as they take their seats
the ringmaster
pushes me
one
step
too
far
and I fall
into the empty pit that surrounds me
inside and outside
finally the same
the shadows laugh
as I drown
in the waters
of my soul...
I feel the darkness
closing in
I welcome it
it will all be over soon anyway
why fight
when
there is nothing left
to fight for
after all
Im not
worth the trouble
no one
faught for me...
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 9:50 AM UTC