I never knew the pretty sky was so indifferent
So blue and so blank
Standing there without a response.
Surrounding me as it just watches on
As my head is weighed down
As my shoulders become heavy
As my knees want to hit the ground
Nothing is working.
The problems just stack on
Its books are piling on
Insistently,
Showing me that it can.
The distribution isn’t even
Doesn’t matter.
My back not sure if it will give out
Perhaps, just waiting for the right time
To truly become another future
With a wishful past.
A hand to alleviate it wouldn’t come
A wishful thinking of a story
A movie that would get blistered by real life
I’m already getting burned under its sun
Beating on without a care
Quickly chafing off the careful wrapping
Around how it was supposed to go
Preserving the candy that shouldn’t get *****
On this day, it got exposed to the true air
It cracked under the pressure
The lines show the map of the world
In your mouth,
It’s ready to break a tooth
A lean against the wall
Trying to hold my body up
Against the weight of my thoughts
As they swirl becoming poison
Sticking to the sides of my mind
Within this tornado
The sun shines on.
The breeze flutters the leaves beautifully
Showing all the sides of its colors
It reaches my face coolly
Washing over my thoughts
Increasing the turbulence
The starker the contrasts of green and blue
The blunter the world reveals itself to be.
Not a single cloud passing by up above
Empty eyed as it looks on
Keeping cool as everything collapses
Hands restless trying to catch all falling
It’s slipping through my fingers
Too quick to grasp and hold.
To give up is an option that comes up.
A whisper infiltrating with the sweet air.
To shut my eyes
And un-focus my gaze
But I’m surrounded by multiple paths
All escapes paved with yellow flowers
Each and every pretty without promises
Petals covering every space
Not showing any holes in the ground
Until I’ve already fallen in
Wanting to turn back.
From inside the well
Or from the sidewalk
The sky looks the same
Coded with a thousand cliffs
Unable to decipher their meaning
Constantly shifting as the time comes
What seemed so stable
Becomes all blurry in a glance.
To exert a force in my arms
And hold my body up
Against this pressing weight.
I let out a breath that traveled miles
Pushing away my thoughts for now
I stand up off the rail
And try another time.
Not a single cloud passing by up above
The world remains colorfully calm
And the sun makes the leaves greener
A few seagulls fly by overhead
The challenges weigh down on my back
While the pretty sky seems bluer
Oct 20, 2019
Oct 20, 2019 at 3:55 AM UTC
It seems our friendship ends here,
My friend
Let’s split this orange in two
Keep your half and don’t share it
Nothing left we want to mix together.
It has always been coming quietly
Probably from the moment we shook hands
The time has now arrived
Even as we try to elongate our texts
Force our voices with concern
Still waiting for the exit
We knew from the second
We walked different paths
That the ground would tremble,
And the cracks rise.
The gap has been widening
As the sun and moon switch places
Even if we ignore it and
Throw a smile across the divide.
The pretense now
Makes my skin crawl
Escape from this strange web
Coating around us is urgent
I know you have your stuff under hands
And want to keep them away from me
Here,
I’ll give it all to you on a gold platter.
But for some reason it won’t cross the table
It’s frozen to the touch,
I cannot get it over.
Unwilling to put down our dignity
Laid on the napkin exposed to the other
Making this process extend
Pulling out without an end
Continuously balancing
The thin string wobbling into the dark
Struggling as I carry memories on my back
Missing pieces increasing its weight
As it slips down I wonder who you are
Grudges I thought buried
Now splitting through the earth
It seems our friendship ends here,
My friend
The air has grown too toxic to breathe
I can no longer see you through the divide
Let us not even try and leave it at that.
Who will be the one to say it first?
Just look around for an excuse
Drop a bubble of silence
Hoping to set off a bomb of meaning
Nobody has to take responsibility
Let us escape.
Laughs abounding while
We crossed the dark streets
Now mock me
Showing only unknowing youth
There to fill a space where
I now realize you were thin air.
As fleeting as a passing joke
An initiation for the future..
What I thought was so tight
Loosened itself at a touch
And left the past at the back
As we walk through the tunnel.
Time has passed by
And swallowed us whole
Still falling down its’ throat
Passing by brief glimpses of moonlight
It’s dark sides showing up at my face
Always changing paths
I won’t hand you the compass
As I land at on my feet,
I want to enjoy the walk without you
Dusk is setting down on the streets
I see we are on opposite sides
Of the sun glazed windows
No longer able to meet each other’s gaze
Through the bright shine
Shut mouths full of words
That weigh on our tongues
The coat now fits us well,
Straightened out on our shoulders
Should now be able to walk
Pass by each other with a nod
It seems our friendship ends here,
My friend
Let’s buy two different train tickets
We don’t want to join the other
The seat beside me will be reserved.
But nothing is going past my lips
Let’s hurry up, the bell is ringing
Exchange phrases of good wishes
Both curious of our destinations
We’re adults now
Let’s board and leave
Oct 20, 2019
Oct 20, 2019 at 3:52 AM UTC
Can I find you past Mount Hua,
After crossing Cao’e River,
Through the fields of Longkou,
Will I be walking for long?
Sat, waiting for the train to go
To take me where I am supposed to be
Head pressed against the cold window
I want that seat.
Lost among the frames
And paths between stones
You should be somewhere among
The busy laying down of flowers
I want to know
A fickle not fitting anywhere
A missing piece,
Just wandering.
Who do I owe my existence to.
Who brought me here.
I would kneel down to you
And offer my deepest gratitude
Tired of floating up in the air
Just whisked around by the wind.
The tree with roots is stronger
The clouds so lonely.
Breezing by, the single leaf
Stuck in this one state
I’ll walk alone with my two legs
Don’t worry, I’ll continue to go
But where are you?
The people who came before me
Blocks of my past
You’re going too far
I’m lost.
This voice,
The voice formed
Trying to reach out
It’s calling out
It can’t let go,
Where it came from.
Every sunshine,
Every storm,
It surrounds us
Brings us to life.
I’ll always look up
And see it like you.
Going past Mount Hua
Alone among the clouds
Who put me here
I want to know.
I’ll travel long
And so far,
I’ve been walking for long.
I’ll put my respects
Will you see me
I won’t be disappointed
I’ll lay down everything
Just to have my place.
Left away
Those a part of me
I’m walking through the path
But where are you?
Oct 20, 2019
Oct 20, 2019 at 3:47 AM UTC
After the rain the fills the ***
And leaks out the side
At the last drop down the roof
Even when the wood is wet,
I’ll leave.
The freshness of the day,
Can’t match the lightness in my heart,
It’s biking past the bridges,
Pushing past the grass in the stream,
Soaring down the hills,
That pour out from the purple sunset,
Hanging down cherry blossoms’
Open hands reaching out to every path.
The train has yet to come,
But the heat already settled,
Cooled by the sun far back,
Windows mirrored in its light,
Peppered a village under me,
Going through all its tall corners,
The rails build themselves above me,
As I run past every shop,
My reflection follows along on the ride
Oct 20, 2019
Oct 20, 2019 at 3:46 AM UTC