Lonely child I was
I asked why I was not enough
to lift her sorrows
when I saw my mother linger in the dark
broken body
body devoid of broken mind
imploring to forget
drinking herself away
yearning to feel a little less
mother who's fragile arms could never lift me
mother who in her sadness could not see past her own void
mother who fought valiantly against her own pain
has managed to forget everything
including me
how i wish i could have understood
Oct 29, 2019
Oct 29, 2019 at 6:35 PM UTC
i dont think about it
i just drown myself in work
im not thinking about it
i just drown myself with words
Aug 27, 2019
Aug 27, 2019 at 10:34 PM UTC
You lay.
Hands cold,
clenched and vibrating.
Every sound you utter is a croak,
something deep in your voice feels torn.
Your skin crawls,
critters roam your body.
As phantom voice whisper in your ear,
mocking, taunting.
The anxiety builds,
as your kin spew poisoned words.
It froths,
as discomfort settles in your skin.
It spills,
when your own thoughts attack you.
Degradation could never remain an external battle
Aug 27, 2019
Aug 27, 2019 at 10:33 PM UTC
I gave you
everything i had to give
my money
my love
my time
I've given you
my health
my happiness
my peace of mind
And still i search for ways to please you
to appease
to ease the pain
of the void
i know is carved in the both of us
Even though i know it will never be enough
Aug 20, 2019
Aug 20, 2019 at 9:28 PM UTC
that single melody
carries all my sorrows
like fraught nerves
or a snapped piano wire
every misstep, mistake, fall and heartbreak
banging, crashing, reverberating
like an endless echoing thunderous bell
enclosed in my head
shame, hate, envy
twang, clank, shrill and abysmal
like an orchestral horror composition fading into discord
Aug 17, 2019
Aug 17, 2019 at 12:55 PM UTC
Fevered skin
Shoving away the thought
Of broken bone and ravished flesh
Forcibly taken
Chasing the electrifying touch of your hands
Running a shiver down my spine
Anticipation instead of dread
Taking back what was stolen from me
Hand in hand with you
Aug 16, 2019
Aug 16, 2019 at 2:49 PM UTC
For the words spilt,
so sharp,
You forked your tongue
Breath heavy with liquor,
And self-inflicted misery
Tremulous limbs,
Stilted walk
Running, stumbling, falling,
Splitting skin on solid concrete
What haunted your sober thoughts?
Two wives, six children and a lifetime
And no one ever knew you
Not your siblings
Not even your mother,
who searched for you decades after being told you were dead,
who cared for you until her last conscious thought
Living without living
Contemplating the world through hazy eyes
What is there to feel, but pity?
For the man who never learned from his mistakes,
Turning to the bottle to forget his woes
To forget his loneliness
Never realizing that the bottle caused him more woes
And left him alone
Aug 8, 2019
Aug 8, 2019 at 12:21 AM UTC
To mingle and live
With love so close and just out of reach
To connect and to touch
With someones out of minds
My body so alive without me
My mind so alive without my body
Jun 9, 2019
Jun 9, 2019 at 5:33 AM UTC
The disconnect is sometimes too much to bear,
I find myself wondering if it's a change required in me or in my surroundings,
How I would love to let go,
Without ruining me or something else
Jun 9, 2019
Jun 9, 2019 at 5:11 AM UTC