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Jocelyn
Jocelyn
16/F I like to write. Not because I'm particularly good at it - but because I need somewhere to put my emotions.
"Happy New Year!" they say as they sip their champagne. Each bubble, last year's sorrow, to be lost in the new tomorrow Let the new year ring out as they kiss and laugh and shout. Each balloon, is a latex vessel for resilience, feeding the emotion coloured chameleons. As if the "new year, new me" attitude should terminate the blues and help us to forget the cold, harsh, truth. No matter what the new year's resolution, there will be no retribution.
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Dec 30, 2021
Dec 30, 2021 at 10:12 PM UTC
New Year's Resolution
Blanket off my cold body. Tiptoe towards the warm coffee Fill the purple mug to the top Savour each and every drop. The perfect beginning
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Dec 28, 2021
Dec 28, 2021 at 10:29 PM UTC
Routinely Unstable
Blink. I close my eyes, but the tears don't come out. Because a girl who has it all, shouldn't pout. Blink. Skip to the 1960's scene, cheesy music playing. Just a movie in my head, a childhood memory decaying. Blink. It's worse than feeling numb, it's a drought. Because the ability to express oneself, is not something one can go without. Blink. Pieces are missing, messages not relaying. The gaslighting so loug, I can't hear what everyone is saying. Blink. How to separate the truth, the act of torture lies in doubt. But a girl who appears to have it all, shouldn't pout.
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Oct 11, 2021
Oct 11, 2021 at 12:41 PM UTC
Blink.
When I was 6 years old, I was told I was too much. Keep it to yourself they'd scold, you're unlikeable, not bold. Unique is the opposite of gold, so my personality took a toll. And no matter how much strength I would hold Nobody liked me, so I had to fold. I was left out when I was in grade eight. Apparently I changed myself too late. I did everything for everyone hoping for a clean slate. Yet I'd already met my fate. There was no retake, only resentment and hate. I needed distraction, so I started to fill my plate. Highschool came and on a platter, was a fresh start. And for a second I'd thought old me and new me had grown apart. I made friends like it was an art. The warm feeling of care began to fill my heart. That's when the dead persona came back, like a poison dart. And everything I had built, fell apart.
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Oct 11, 2021
Oct 11, 2021 at 12:35 PM UTC
Unlikeable, not bold
A joke, does not cause this much pain. And what you broke, will never be the same. We are taught as girls, don't be the temptation. Keep your hair in pretty curls, and don't be the abberation. Don't ask for a man's respect, he'll offer what you deserve. And never should you forget only he can tell your worth.
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Jun 1, 2021
Jun 1, 2021 at 12:29 AM UTC
Just a Joke
I'm not that girl - who everyone appreciates. Nobody seems to care, no matter how much grievance I do alleviate. So even though I give and give, still I cannot find, one clear and simple reason, I should continue my own life. Throughout my life so far, I've focused on everyone else. Giving everything I had, while neglecting only myself. But I'm running out of things to give. Of time, and energy, and care. So ever so slowly, I'm fading and you're still there taking, until you finally realize, what pain I've been masquerading.
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Mar 8, 2021
Mar 8, 2021 at 11:16 PM UTC
Nothing More to Give
The ball of yarn that I've kept for many years, has officially unravelled, presenting all my greatest fears. For years I had them bundled, neatly in a ball, and it wasn't until recently, I couldn't continue to stall. This wasn't caused my me, as why would I begin, to unravel a flawless system, in that I see no win. But it was the cat who caused the chaos. The cat of death and sorrow, bringing endless pain and hurt, until I could no longer see a tomorrow. He pulled my life all out of wack, taking a once single untangled string, and creating a mess of loose ends, which he then began to fling. Out with routine, out with content, innocence is destroyed, and here is a perfectionist's descent.
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Mar 8, 2021
Mar 8, 2021 at 4:09 PM UTC
Cat of Chaos
As you stood and yelled, cold to all embrace, you missed my cry for help, it was buried in my face. Little did you know, I was prepared to meet my fate. I was taking it all in, and before I knew it I snapped, but you didn't care what I did, only what I lacked. Little did you know, you'd soon have to relax. I imagine your face with regret, thinking about this very moment, kicking yourself for not picking up that this was the very last component. Because little did you know, you'd clarified my time to go.
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Jan 4, 2021
Jan 4, 2021 at 7:21 PM UTC
Little Did You Know
Do you realize who you are? When I look at you, I feel so far below par. But you have faith in me, which helps to keep my story true. and pushes me to be the star. All this while keeping me grounded, and never being too far.
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Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020 at 4:06 PM UTC
That person
Me. No more hesitation, I do what's best for me. That's the end of the equation. No longer will I be a supporting lead. I'll become the main character in my life, and finally start to see. And just stop giving you the knife.
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Nov 26, 2020
Nov 26, 2020 at 8:23 PM UTC
Pulling the knife out