I fear doing something wrong
Speaking the wrong way
Dressing the wrong way
Acting the wrong way
My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake
I fear being in trouble
Talking when I shouldn’t
Doing things when I shouldn’t
Speaking when I shouldn’t
My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake
I fear being wrong
Answering incorrectly
Acting incorrectly
Doing incorrectly
My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake
I fear judgement
Speaking oddly
Dressing oddly
Acting oddly
My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake
I fear commitment
Loving someone forever
Working a job forever
Taking care of a child forever
My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake
I fear independance
Feeding myself alone
Doing my taxes alone
Living completely alone
My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake
I fear ignorance
Coming off as stupid
Acting like I’m stupid
Speaking like I’m stupid
My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake
I fear other people
Their anger towards me
Their judgement towards me
Their love for me
My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 9:46 PM UTC
I question the reliability of forever
When someone says
“I’ll love you forever”
Then stops loving you
Your faith in love begins to wane
If your heart is broken enough times
You don’t have enough of it
To believe in forever
Mar 3, 2018
Mar 3, 2018 at 10:57 PM UTC
The pain ripped through my body
Tearing apart my muscles
Electricity shot through my arms
Sending sparks down my veins
My heart pounded against its cage
Each thump threatening to break free
My stomach boiled in its own acid
Sizzling as the bile rose in my throat
Hot tears rolled down my cheeks
Searing my skin as they trailed
One word drummed through my mind
Never
Each time it hammered my skull shook
Never
The hopeless finality of Never
It screamed in a skull splitting screech
Never
would I be happy
Never
would I be myself
Never
would I be free.
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 8:30 PM UTC
Is my heart mistaken?
They tell me it isn’t right
How will I get into heaven?
Without losing a part of me
I won’t get into heaven
Maybe I don’t want heaven
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 7:59 PM UTC
Is anybody out there?
I'm screaming but no one seems to hear
When words are spoken into darkness do they lose their power?
Dec 31, 2017
Dec 31, 2017 at 2:38 AM UTC
Strong
Is the way you
Crawl through life's
barbed wires,
***** traps,
And barricades
And coming out still standing up after everything,
Still going.
Strong is withstanding
The harshest sand wind,
Letting the grains smother you,
Try to take you down,
But you still stand.
Strong is fighting for what is right,
Being able to know when you need to step in,
Realizing one's mistakes,
Fixing.
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 11:56 PM UTC
We're all just suicidal kids
Telling other suicidal kids
That suicide is not the answer
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 11:22 PM UTC
“How are you doing?”
"I'm good, how are you?"
I'm not okay, I'm never okay, not that you actually care...
"You're so pretty!
"Thank you!"
No I'm not. I'm fat and ugly, everyone knows it.
"I love you."
"I love you, too"
Do you?
"I'll always be here for you. Just call me."
"Thank you, it's good to know I have someone."
**Funny, I needed you when I was ready to **** myself, but it went straight to voicemail.**
"Do you want anything?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
No thanks, I'm not trying to gain any more weight, Lord knows I don't need to.
"You should go to sleep."
"Alright, goodnight."
Sure, I'll go lay in bed and think about everything wrong with me until 3am, but I sure as hell am getting 0 sleep.
"I need you...."
"Okay, I'll stay for you."
You probably do. But when I need you it's another story.
"You're so quiet!"
"I'm tired."
I'm over-thinking.
"What's up with the sunglasses? It's not even sunny."
"You know I look cool!"
I've been crying and I don't want you to ask why.
"You'll get over this. You're strong."
"Thanks I needed that."
Hahahahahahaha! You're so freaking hilarious!
"Your poetry is so deep!"
"I usually write when I'm listening to sad music- it gets me in the mood."
I write everything I'm feeling, you just never paid enough attention to know I was feeling that way.
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 8:58 PM UTC
"Each day is a gift and not a given right."
Stop taking what you have for granted
Appreciate the little things
Everything means something
Everyone wants to feel they're wanted
"Leave no stone unturned"
Try everything once, maybe twice
Look everywhere for opportunities
Never ignore what you truly believe
Remember, this is YOUR life
"Leave your fears behind"
What's the point in being scared
There's always a possibility for pain
Without some breakage, there's no gain
But never jump in blind or unprepared
"Try to take the path less traveled."
Never follow the worn rut in the ground
Make a new, curved path
Leave the past in the past
There's still something amazing left to be found
"If Today Was Your Last Day"
Would you be ashamed of the steps you've followed?
Would you regret some things from the past?
Would you do anything to take those things back?
Don't, just rejoice, smile. There's no time in life to wallow.
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 8:34 PM UTC