You get used to scraping bottom down here under shallow waters where darkness grows tall and the mountains fall like old friends and our grandfathers.
All my worries turn themselves over like ripples in the sand and the silt tastes sweet like a buttery ****** as I pull myself with outstretched webbed hands and feet.
Cascades of blue and grey descend on times with only you and I pretending to be him and her and who and where and that mountain over there looks like a perfect place to stop and stare at the world.
Coldly beating slowly my hearts skipping like a rock onto the surface of the ocean old friends cross legged on the dock.
Above our heads no longer finding purpose here the waters crystal clear but I can't see the fish and they're so beautiful this time of year.
Reclusive smiles cast my nets against the shoreline hoping one day.
Just one day. Just one day.
You were death way before I died and I loved it.
All I have left now is to wait for nothing.
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017 at 5:19 PM UTC
I'm very self aware with no control of my own body and these shades keep getting deeper but my heart just won't stop throbbing the ties were cut I'm wearing thin drowning in these final chapters each paragraph transcribes me as the slave and though the spayed and lonely master wont respect my mind my heart subsides to dwindle in the light I'm suicidal coinciding with my afternoon delight this is a test I'm pouring openly like gaskets from the vessel dead mechanical hands twist up the shape of dried up castles in the sand my tired eyes can see the outline of a deserted shape on top of me her eyes were slate grey and her nails were dug up inside of me the name is unimportant but her face wont be the last time that I see her only 3 words to connect her with my past just another time around the block another open door the shimmered glass is spread out like ashes in a star pattern on the floor so speak in tongues and pray to Gods in hopes you'll never have to be the desperate man that i've become devoid of all my hopes and dreams. ****
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 2:11 AM UTC
I feel like I won just for the time we spent together
And the weather feels so much better now that we're on the other side
And though it's a strike to my pride I just got to stay strong
And keep hoofing at the pavement got to keep moving along
I didn't ask to be broken
I didn't ask for this to start
But I can't ask for you to stick around while I ******* your heart
And while I ******* your thoughts
And leave you empty in our bed
I know the hate resides but just try and keep it out of your head
There's better times to be had more lovers to have burned
I once sold the world for a girl and got little in return
But that little means a lot to a man with nothing but his shotgun
I swear I'd sell my soul again but the devils already got one
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 1:29 AM UTC
I didn't put the straw down so I could be same person but this person I've become is not half of what I'd hoped
And the dead feeling and coping come only second to the slopes with your cracked hands around my neck feels more like burning from a rope
Dark tinted glasses mask these lines that wrap around my eyes the burning skyline dusty air compares my home to this demise
I'm softly spoken but my depressed token has me wearing this disguise and with my wings clipped the seamstress is still re-teaching me to fly
Sep 27, 2017
Sep 27, 2017 at 5:33 PM UTC
And every exhale is what I hope to be my very last.
Wandering alone in the caverns of my past like a child lost in the aisles of a supermarket.
Pulling back my hair on bandages so the iron can come up for air and ruin my favorite sweater.
Keeping myself alive just long enough to fade away slowly like you did when I first got sober.
Maybe if my heart was in my wrists you would come back and take whats left of it.
Three days from now death will permeate into the hallway.
Hopefully by then you'll remember that we were once in love.
See you at the funeral.
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 19, 2017 at 2:06 PM UTC
You're the constellation
But I have no telescope
Stars fall like broken glass
That hack my eight knot rope
When you decide to find the time
I'm waiting by the door
With a bullet lodged inside my mind
And this note lying on the floor
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 2:33 AM UTC
I am so alone
Hiding my eyes from a world that deceived me
Blistered skin stretched out like a canvas on the floor
Hopelessly hopeless
I am an ambiguous floating ball of light and death
Wounds reopened to dissect the once blood filled veins of my body
An army of thoughts cowarding inward to the soulless pit of my existence
Deranged naysayers throwing glass bombs at my feet
Oh god!
Where did the last of humanity scurry off to
Oh god!
Bliss-less suffering endures eternally through a facade of sultry emotionless ***
The leaps and bounds became the void
And there's nothing left
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 1:43 AM UTC
Silent waves cast from a ripple on the pond, you're infecting, I'm still collecting the letters thrown all over our apartment you were injecting finding no time for anything but that reoccurring feeling of being smothered when we were young lovers with many lovers.
The days passed and we saw the future, you took your hand out of mine and leapt into the pond I don't know if I'll ever see the sun shine the same way as when the waves of the pond broke and your reflection cast with the sky, I could see the death in your eyes.
I'm here alone on the edge of the pond with my fists dug in the ground, the noose tight around your neck and the god awful sound of the shotgun blast playing over and over in my head scattered all over the grass.
What have we done.
Two young lovers, so entwined that when we finally unraveled and you were no longer mine my purpose was gone and there was no hope to carry on. Life ends all the time and I'm ready to die if you are.
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 1:36 AM UTC