Night after night
Day after day
I don't know what has happened
We've suddenly nothing to say.
Well, that isn't quite true
From my side of things,
I just get caught up in the silence
That your silence brings.
We used to talk,
We used to laugh,
Our own private jokes
Left other's thinking us daft!
We used to touch,
We don't anymore
I don't know if you've noticed
Many things are not as before.
I feel more like a roommate,
An acquaintance or friend,
Not the person you vowed
To cherish until life's end.
We're in the same room
We share the same bed,
But I know longer sleep
Your chest beneath my head.
I go to bed most nights
Sad and alone,
Quietly crying tears
That to you are unknown.
While you work on some project
I'm alone in our room
Waiting for it to end.
If you don't want to be here
Then you need to go.
If you don't love me
You need to say so.
It's getting to the point
Whether you go or stay
Will not really matter,
I am alone anyway
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 2:16 AM UTC
My inner demons are dark and vast,
Some live in the present, some in the past.
You can only hide them for so long,
But they always peak their head,
From the trapped doors in my memories,
Through the closed doors in my mind,
Between the cracks in my broken heart,
Hiding in the dark alley's of my soul.
Sooner or later these demons will gain control,
Whenever, they see weakness from within your soul.
These demons will test you at every turn,
Wishing you to welcome them, Damning you to burn.
Don't say anything and just look away,
Block out their voices, only then,
Can you start to make the right choices.
Mar 30, 2020
Mar 30, 2020 at 4:51 AM UTC
She stood on the bridge
In silence and fear
For the demons of darkness
Had driven her here
They cut her heart
Right out of her chest
Making her believe
That the demons knew best
They were always there
Sometimes just out of sight
Waiting in the background
Till the time was right
These demons were destructive
Knocking down the life she knew
Hating everything about her
She hated herself too
These demons can't be seen
But they're far from fairy tales
They live inside your mind
Their evilness prevails
So on the bridge she stood
About to end the fight
Then she stopped and thought
I'll fight them one more night.
Mar 27, 2020
Mar 27, 2020 at 11:40 PM UTC
Days of endless struggle.
More hopelessness today,
Trying to appear "normal"
In some sort of way.
It seems that the struggle
Is always here with me,
And I wouldn't be here now
If guilt would leave me be.
I know there's been many
Who've had it worse than I,
But that doesn't always mean
That I wouldn't say good-bye.
People say I have a lot going for me.
I'm sorry, but I just can't see.
I can't see because my worst enemy
Is not my life but inside of me.
Always on a roller coaster,
Not much consistency.
I'm nothing if I'm not up or down.
I'm nothing if just "me."
Very little energy,
Wanting to stay far away,
Wishing to be enthusiastic
Instead of feeling like I'm made of lead.
Wanting to be excited,
Wanting to care for more,
But when nothing makes sense,
It's hard to focus on the poor.
Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking.
It's hard to keep in touch
With what is happening around me
And not to worry too much.
I feel that everybody is better than me
And that I can't do anything right.
This is how I've felt my whole dang life;
It didn't just start last night.
No confidence, no self-esteem.
Everybody else is right.
To speak my mind is to be a fool,
So I just try to "sit tight."
Any one of these problems
Would be a heavy vice,
But when you have them ALL
Living seems like a roll of the dice.
Mar 20, 2020
Mar 20, 2020 at 4:27 AM UTC
You have given me hope for a better tomorrow
like an angel guiding me out of my sorrow.
My fears I want to let go
but can my past I forgo?
I ask you this as you have my heart
will you always be there so we may never part?
I don't have much to give
but I will give you my everyday to live.
I love life and what it has to give
because through the depths of sorrow I have learned to live.
Jan 26, 2020
Jan 26, 2020 at 5:25 AM UTC
Dad,
You are the best I can ever find, I am so fortunate to have a father like you. You knew when you had to extend your support, yet you even knew also when do lean back and let me learn to hold my own fort. You are on my mind from the time I wake to when I fall asleep. You gave me your courage you gave me your strength. An were ready to go for any length. No gift can be bigger than what you have even gave in me. See my dad has the strength of a mountain. Yet has the purity of a water fountain. My dad has the wit of a clown. His jokes pulls me up whenever I'm down. His voice is sounds like the string of a guitar. My dad is celebrating his Birthday today. An I love him much more than I can ever say.
Happy birthday to my dearest dad
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 28, 2019 at 6:42 PM UTC
You give to me hope
And help me to cope
When life pulls me down
You bring me around
You teach me to care
And help me to share
You make me honest
With kindness the best
From you I learned love
With grace from above
It’s for you I live
And I want to give
You are the reason
That fills each season
When I hear love I think of you
You are my world and best friend too
I love you because you are so kind, thoughtful and caring
I love you because you are so pleasant, lovely and sharing
You made me the woman I am
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 28, 2019 at 6:40 PM UTC
Happiness is no longer the illusion,
My life is my new disease.
No longer waiting to see what happens,
No more waiting on fate.
I will decide where it all ends,
I will show you all my hate.
You claim to be full of anger,
You spread nothing but lies.
Your time in my mind is in danger,
For you are whom I truly despise.
The look in your eyes is hard to handle,
It's almost something to be feared.
Is this true or just another scandal?
Where is your face--just mine I see mirror
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 6:06 AM UTC
I am broken,
But nobody picks up the pieces.
I'm falling,
But nobody catches me.
I'm in the dark,
But nobody brings me a light.
I'm alone,
But nobody is there to change that.
I need to be saved,
But nobody is there to save me.
Will you be the one to change that?
Will you save me from myself?
Bring me a light in the dark?
Catch me when I'm falling?
Pick up the pieces of me that everybody has left behind?
Prove to me that I'm not alone?
Will you save me?
Nov 8, 2019
Nov 8, 2019 at 5:58 PM UTC
Daddy, you will never show me
how to catch or throw a ball
Or tie my laces really tight
You'll never teach me ABC's
Or read to me, and tuck me in
You'll never kiss and make me laugh
With tickles from your spiky chin
You'll never watch me graduate
For my cap and gown I'll never see
And you'll never hold my babies
Like you never got to cuddle me...
You would have been the bestest Daddy
But I had gone before you knew
So instead of watching me, my Daddy
I'll be watching over you...
Nov 1, 2019
Nov 1, 2019 at 2:45 AM UTC