I'm looking into an abyss
With all the lights off
And I can see only you
At the end of this tunnel
But why?
I can't have you
I know
You love another man or so I think
Because I'm basing off of assumptions
That I made at 4 AM
Yet a part of me keeps telling me
to move on
I guess I'm stubborn
Always thinking about whether or not
These texts have meaning
Probably not, probably just falling for
pain and regret
Too scared to make a move
Too confident to give up
It's almost like a paradox
Of lies and truths mixed into one
And it says I can't have you
The abyss just got deeper.
May 8, 2018
May 8, 2018 at 10:40 PM UTC
Tears that often fall
Because my walls are not yet tall
Enough to block the pain
So instead I cry
And think of how much I want to die
There is no joy left to give
Only suffering and silent rage
That is always building and often
Let out as these wooden walls
Get hit with fire
And I desire
To make something bleed
But yet the only thing in the room is me
There is only one thing to do then
It's to tear myself apart
So I don't hurt you
And after all is said and done
I ask myself
Why can't I just be happy?
Why'd I get stuck coming back to You?
Yet the sky and the moon
Never answer
Without even a hint of saying goodbye
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 10:21 PM UTC
I once dreamt of blood
Spilling on the carpet floor
And I know I can't ignore
Who the person is
Deep down
I know
But I can't see the face
For some reason
My finger just can't seem to place
Then I wake up
In a cold sweat
and the demons told me
That was you
Then I go back to sleep
With tears in my eyes
Knowing my soul is slowly dying.
Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 12:30 AM UTC
Today, I am lonely.
Tomorrow, I'm depressed.
And the next day, I'll be dead.
So end the incesstant pains
Bring me
No more tears
Make it all alright
And excuse me for hiding away like a coward
But my soul is locked up tight
Trying to reach an impossible height
But yet it crashes
And still no one reaches out to catch it
Now my soul travels higher than ever without a physical being
Or these emotional feelings
Walking around alive but dead inside
Looks as though there's a monster in my head
And it seems I won't escape the fantasy of these dreams that are of a happy life
One without strife
One filled with joy
One with love
One with a dove to carry me away
Only to stop right by my grave
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018 at 1:42 AM UTC