Jack_Renae - Hello Poetry

Compassion decomposing, As if we were all just posing. Losing. What was. What’s there but lost. Clouded lenses looking through blinded loss. I must connect mind over matter. Or is mind just consistent of matter? Reasoning lost. On my death bed is when I’ll feel the cost. I’m lost, Lost, Lost. Please dear moon, give me meaning for my dreaming no longer has meaning. I’m seething, it’s nothing but deceiving. Oh moon, I’m singing, please give me meaning on this oh so cold night so I can feel as if I have some sense of being.

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May 3, 2020

May 3, 2020 at 2:09 AM UTC

Jack_Renae

Meaning

Compassion decomposing, As if we were all just posing. Losing. What was. What’s there but lost. Clouded lenses looking through blinded loss. I must connect mind over matter. Or is mind just consistent of matter? Reasoning lost. On my death bed is when I’ll feel the cost. I’m lost, Lost, Lost. Please dear moon, give me meaning for my dreaming no longer has meaning. I’m seething, it’s nothing but deceiving. Oh moon, I’m singing, please give me meaning on this oh so cold night so I can feel as if I have some sense of being.

15

So the story goes A happy family With the blinds closed A charming father One who touched his own daughter Alongside her mother One who bruised her own step daughter A man with charm and an obsession to appear opulent He sang of broken rage Masked over by a steady beat Disguising the way he’d take a seat Taking everything, leaving you beat Conceited and consumed within himself He had no time for anybody else My dear step mom She appeared so sweet She was a cheat, she never loved me She like to drink, get aggressive I’d get beat, watching those gritted teeth It took me awhile to see what’s beneath Accepting life is not always as should be I am not a victim but a learner in this society

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Sep 12, 2019

Sep 12, 2019 at 4:21 PM UTC

Jack_Renae

Childhood

So the story goes A happy family With the blinds closed A charming father One who touched his own daughter Alongside her mother One who bruised her own step daughter A man with charm and an obsession to appear opulent He sang of broken rage Masked over by a steady beat Disguising the way he’d take a seat Taking everything, leaving you beat Conceited and consumed within himself He had no time for anybody else My dear step mom She appeared so sweet She was a cheat, she never loved me She like to drink, get aggressive I’d get beat, watching those gritted teeth It took me awhile to see what’s beneath Accepting life is not always as should be I am not a victim but a learner in this society

22

Beating Bleeding Beating myself Casting constant bleeding from self inflicted wounds My bleating soul cries out I have no way to bleed out I need a way out I gotta lot of self doubt Don’t wanna deal with this **** Take a pill n pass out Stuck in my self drowning blackout I walk around Head bent down Drowning all sound I’m letting myself drown Bein beat down by the vicious sound of the stormy clouds Gotta get outta this crowd Where it’s sad an loud Where I can breath and let myself bleed Surrounded by the cool breeze I can think Be who I wanna be See through clear skies The clouds fallen behind me I can see The girl I wanna be Give me some time n all make her mine Just give me some time and she’ll be mine The girl I wanna be I will be When she beats through by beating the bleeding Her self inflicted wounds All be a warrior soon Just Give me some time to patch up these wounds

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Aug 29, 2019

Aug 29, 2019 at 2:27 PM UTC

Jack_Renae

Patching bleeding wounds

Beating Bleeding Beating myself Casting constant bleeding from self inflicted wounds My bleating soul cries out I have no way to bleed out I need a way out I gotta lot of self doubt Don’t wanna deal with this **** Take a pill n pass out Stuck in my self drowning blackout I walk around Head bent down Drowning all sound I’m letting myself drown Bein beat down by the vicious sound of the stormy clouds Gotta get outta this crowd Where it’s sad an loud Where I can breath and let myself bleed Surrounded by the cool breeze I can think Be who I wanna be See through clear skies The clouds fallen behind me I can see The girl I wanna be Give me some time n all make her mine Just give me some time and she’ll be mine The girl I wanna be I will be When she beats through by beating the bleeding Her self inflicted wounds All be a warrior soon Just Give me some time to patch up these wounds

34

Down the block You coerced with sweet talk Steady like a hawk Taking your time as you walk It’s past 1 on the clock You knock Wish I could say I’m shocked My hearts blocked Lost somewhere along the boardwalk I’d jaywalk but I see the night hawk It creates a road block I’m stuck on the sidewalk (C)

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Apr 4, 2019

Apr 4, 2019 at 12:08 AM UTC

Jack_Renae

Road block

Down the block You coerced with sweet talk Steady like a hawk Taking your time as you walk It’s past 1 on the clock You knock Wish I could say I’m shocked My hearts blocked Lost somewhere along the boardwalk I’d jaywalk but I see the night hawk It creates a road block I’m stuck on the sidewalk (C)

13

Sunshine beside my twilight Always thinkin bout you near midnight Gotta sit tight And make sure you don’t fall out of sight waiting for your call propped up against the wall I wish to sing and have a ball Having you catch me when I fall You stole my glance It happened by fortunate chance You intoxicate and inhance My forever romance (C)

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Apr 3, 2019

Apr 3, 2019 at 11:27 PM UTC

Jack_Renae

The glance you stole by chance

Sunshine beside my twilight Always thinkin bout you near midnight Gotta sit tight And make sure you don’t fall out of sight waiting for your call propped up against the wall I wish to sing and have a ball Having you catch me when I fall You stole my glance It happened by fortunate chance You intoxicate and inhance My forever romance (C)

13

A pack a day Smoked away I was provoked And ended up soaked Cloaked in smoke Rolling up all the dope Tryna compensate and cope I looked through the telescope And saw death written in my horoscope (C)

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Apr 3, 2019

Apr 3, 2019 at 10:43 PM UTC

Jack_Renae

a pack a day

A pack a day Smoked away I was provoked And ended up soaked Cloaked in smoke Rolling up all the dope Tryna compensate and cope I looked through the telescope And saw death written in my horoscope (C)

10

*** is no sweet gum, but it makes you a wholesome *** who pours out all their income Acting like a **** Is this what you wanna become Always glum Balancing your hum that lost it’s silver tongue A slow beating drum Don’t let that be your sum Put both hands on the drum and chew some ******* bubblegum. (C)

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Apr 3, 2019

Apr 3, 2019 at 7:30 PM UTC

Jack_Renae

*** or Bubblegum

*** is no sweet gum, but it makes you a wholesome *** who pours out all their income Acting like a **** Is this what you wanna become Always glum Balancing your hum that lost it’s silver tongue A slow beating drum Don’t let that be your sum Put both hands on the drum and chew some ******* bubblegum. (C)

9

Let’s make this brief You were never mine to keep All tell you to look left as I skyrocket right All the way out of your sight I start missing you in the quiet night But not having you eases the fear of losing you Oh how I miss you but dare do I have you Tempted to be near you I forget nothing’s mine Dragging myself back in line Choosing protected and forever tormented I long to feel connected Subdued Arrested In my demented state of mind (C)

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Apr 3, 2019

Apr 3, 2019 at 2:05 AM UTC

Jack_Renae

Look left

Let’s make this brief You were never mine to keep All tell you to look left as I skyrocket right All the way out of your sight I start missing you in the quiet night But not having you eases the fear of losing you Oh how I miss you but dare do I have you Tempted to be near you I forget nothing’s mine Dragging myself back in line Choosing protected and forever tormented I long to feel connected Subdued Arrested In my demented state of mind (C)

16

He had lots of pretty white snow falling in front of me. I couldn’t help but dipping my pinky in and snorting some lines. A white hazey day, the snows been falling all day. It’s no fun inside, look at all the snow outside. We can build a snow man and build our dreams high. Don’t think about the consequences. Snow never melts when your in a white haze. Did you think a girl like me would say no? You build me high and turn me meek. I snort lines down by your feet. We tweak and forget to sleep. Can you hear me screaming down by the creek? It might have only sounded like a shriek. Happy binge week I hope to see you next week. (C)

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Mar 11, 2019

Mar 11, 2019 at 12:51 AM UTC

Jack_Renae

White day

He had lots of pretty white snow falling in front of me. I couldn’t help but dipping my pinky in and snorting some lines. A white hazey day, the snows been falling all day. It’s no fun inside, look at all the snow outside. We can build a snow man and build our dreams high. Don’t think about the consequences. Snow never melts when your in a white haze. Did you think a girl like me would say no? You build me high and turn me meek. I snort lines down by your feet. We tweak and forget to sleep. Can you hear me screaming down by the creek? It might have only sounded like a shriek. Happy binge week I hope to see you next week. (C)

2

Look at my face and trace. Color me blue, Dip me in colors that will remind me of you. Outline my hips, Your fingers on my lips. Shade me grey, that's quite okay. A canvas colored with sadness. Maybe this way you wont vanish. Trace me blue, Trace me staring at you. Me beside you. Flowers in bloom in a room with you. Trace me with you, Do I dare and love you? (C)

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Nov 16, 2018

Nov 16, 2018 at 1:14 PM UTC

Jack_Renae

Trace Me

Look at my face and trace. Color me blue, Dip me in colors that will remind me of you. Outline my hips, Your fingers on my lips. Shade me grey, that's quite okay. A canvas colored with sadness. Maybe this way you wont vanish. Trace me blue, Trace me staring at you. Me beside you. Flowers in bloom in a room with you. Trace me with you, Do I dare and love you? (C)

15