Suicidal tendencies;
Man are they hard to shake.
I guess its kinda ******** to wanna take
Ur own life
Away.
To me its just part of most days.
I look at living as a silly little game.
Constant effort to trasmute the pain,
To shut off my brain
So that I can simply
Exist.
A 44 n a flick if the wrist,
Or score sum more n slip into bliss.
Make sure she's got no sores on her lips
Before planting another ***** with that first kiss.
A vertical slit of the wrists
I've thought often of the many many ways
To cross off the list.
But really, when I take my own life
If i decide in a monent of emotional feedback so loud it drowns out my natural effervescence
It'll be from taking flight.
Cause u know how much I like to get high
N how hard
I *** down.
Ear to ground
Still listening for the secret
N searching for the sound.
I get lost n then found
Then lost
Again
I really don't have any friends
Just acquaintances
I don't remember what day it is
But I sure can feel the pull of the moon
I love these orange pressie pills, I start nibbling at noon
I used to believe in love, now my heart has no more room.
Desperate doom.
I'm such a romantic
That I'm incapable of loving humans any more.
More efficient to go ahead n make that score.
My heart like a massive tree house so many floors.
So many many ways in,
All boarded shut
If I was a girl they'd call me a ****
Cause I **** every night, my ***** mouth n ****
Cause I can never get
Enuf of love.
Thank god for drugs.
Why is it that in Alaska no one hugs,
Santa Cruz -- home of the pacifist banana slugs.
No more war,
I'm retired from battling
History repeats itself
Like a broken ******* record.
My past is checkered,
But not as hard as my future
I'm going in deep with the drugs
Working out all the bugs
In this new system.
Do u know what its like to b ****** on
By the ones fr above.
I'm smoothing out my pistons
Ready to race.
Beginning a new phase,
Where no one gets my heart, not even me.
A new start.
Now wearing the glove,
Cause I'm nearing the finishing lines.
I've definitely had
enuf of love.
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 6:04 PM UTC
Wow sister
What a ride
We really went thru sum wormholes
N took it to the other side
Our time together
Every kind of weather
I guess sumtimes with love its just better
To let it shed
Seems the heart we shared
Cut n Bled
N I can feel it
Dying
Neither of us
Trying
I vyed to keep u
Tried to treat u
Like a deep precious mtn well
We started in heaven
Went thru hell
Now purgatory
Is a boring story
That we will not stretch to tell
I bow to u rainbow pixie *****
N I wish u o so well
I feel like
We really ******* tried
But its wasn't our time
Easy to see
There is no more we
Tho I'll always love u like
A flower loves the sun
Our love always on the run
We were completely in freedom
N now...
We're just done
No more unspoken words
That almost feel like lies
Our love, she got broken
Once sweet clean air breathing
Gripped to choking
Man u we used to be so high
Crashed, burned, wreckage smoking
And now...
Last thing left to say...
Thru the poisonous haze
Is Goodbye
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 3:54 PM UTC
Been so sleepy all day, rain often makes me feel this way,
I wanna slumber by the window n hear it pitter pat,
I like to listen to the puddles as they splatter back,
kitty kat lazily layin on the sill,
bending grey light in accordance w his will,
Grey skies bounce grey in my eyes, I'm finding time for realizing
dreams start inside, then work their way out into life
Thriving ain't easy, but then again it ain't that hard,
I stay the course while I play my part,
Gazing at the fire, I watch the shadows dance,
the little licking flames lull me into trance,
advancing visions I put forth into heat rising fr the flame,
fantastic spirits, I whisper their names,
Silently calling out to the skies, this is no game,
a living dream, layers of reality melt away at the seams,
seems to me the dream is real,
all these these magnificent sensations I feel,
all the while my heart beats slow n true,
Remembering skies bright clear n blue
Like an Alaska river, the course is always changing,
And my hearts waters fill up when the day stays raining.
Refraining fr wasting creative free spaces,
I keep it tightly contained in a most pious of places,
A den of meditation, thought congregation,
magic seems real n even contagious,
Outrageous as it seems,
Living life is but a dream,
I'm writing my own book, turning my own pages,
Highways quickly lead me, byways more scenic,
Looking skyward tends to bring my life meaning
And o wait, what's that, was I again dreaming,
Cause all the sudden now its really seeming,
That the window has an almost 45 degree angle
And the burning heart on fire pendant fr the rear view dangles
And the fire don't got that familiar orange glow
It looks more like the blue of my car stereo
So that's what's up, this dream is really going along with my plan
Cause the den in my mind is really the back of my van
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 3:52 PM UTC
Wow what a ride I'm on
Man how much time has gone
How could the tide so rapidly subside
Just after doin yet one more line
Wow is her body so fine
And the way we take flight
My o my, the girl gets me so high
The way it feels so right
The way we fit so tight
Its like the beginning of the end of time
Or that other life when I was a double spy
Like the way I felt as a little child
Life wide open so fresh and mysterious
Seems to me there's nothing to fear in bliss
She rolls a tear as we let go from the last kiss
The earth and its magnetism are on a major shift
As soon as the winters done, I'll b on a major kick
If I don't read anyone else's lyrics, I can avoid subconscious plagerism
If I start to regularly meditate, I'll be b free from cages within
**** I'll never give up participating in sum of my favorite sins
The heart has many ways to sew its many mends
Maybe its that I'm still just looking to win
Maybe I'll finally begin tapping fr within
So many things I wanna begin
Never thought I'd meet so many friends
I drop to my knees and pray I stay in the right way
I stayed in the light today
The fine art of playing
Just to play
Like the kid I was
Just yesterday
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 3:49 PM UTC