Scars.
Scars kiss my flesh.
I know me. You don't.
Stop telling me who I am.
I smile-
I laugh too-
Looking at these scars.
You say I'm crazy
Because of it. What if I am?
I'm a happily crazed child.
I am strong because my scars
Remind me of how much weight I have carried, I can carry.
My heart may say feeble
But my mind say power, strength, hope.
You choose what you want
Your mind will say to you.
I choose what mine will say.
Scars.
Scars kiss my flesh.
I know me but you don't.
My scars remind me of my
Survival.
Tell me to keep surviving. Breathe..
My scars,
My mind-
Help me to
Breathe.
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 4:30 PM UTC
Countless times have I
Pictured myself and you.
That we may,
That we might
Have our confessions.
My "friend", "blood"
I watched you take
Your last breath, red-
Running, pouring shamelessly-
Lively out your mouth.
I feel tears run down
My cheeks. Why?
We were never close. A barrier
Always forbade connection.
I always pictured us sorting
Through our issues. Why and How we were what we were.
How our ship in this relation sank.
Why our jigsaw never fit.
Yet I cry and feel emotions.
Maybe I loved you despite my
Hatred. Despite being disowned
And abandoned.
I have had visions of us
Confessing, professing love.
That I would forgive you all
The way, not just half.
But I have forgiven thee yet
I feel like my hatred stays.
I mourn you and what
This relation on our ship-
Could have been. That we were
Denied and unable to connect
Our plugs.
I mourn you. I mourn me.
I mourn you and me. Together.
Die in peace my "friend", "blood"
Know I never only despised-
But I loved, love you. .
Go in peace for we shall meet
Again.
Dear "friend",
Dear "blood".
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 4:29 PM UTC
He drinks me in
With his ocean orbs.
A lovely protruding gaze.
I'd give anything, to have him
For all I could care, he could
Have my flesh, my soul,
My breath. He could-
Steal my heart and make it
His. Permission I would give.
Just to have him look
At me.
An endless wish.
To have him consume me.
A never ending maze.
A soul so pure and true.
Speckles pamper his
Cheeks in adoration.
I'd kiss those cheeks.
Peck those lips. Even
Bite them too.
Such ripe succulent fruits.
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 4:26 PM UTC
Once upon a dream,
All I was, could be was-
Calm and one with serenity.
I had no such extent of
Hatred. Neither was
I so vengeful.
Once upon a dream,
I would be a melody maker, Known on screen, nurse.
Once upon reality,
I saw a light that pulled my arm.
Vengeance was my name.
Anger was my heart and-
Evil, my head.
But.
Forgiveness sought my being,
In all shape and form.
Now I rest at peace.
I right my wrongs.
Wisdom is my name.
Love is my heart and-
Peace, my head.
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 4:25 PM UTC
All I have is an
Overflowing cauldron.
My rage knows no bounds.
I refuse to put a
Cork on it.
Too many times have I
Let you walk over me.
My love has become my
Weakness.
Once I drowned in the pools
Of my own sadness.
Now I bask in the adrenaline of
My rage. I succumb-
To these thoughts of evil.
Regret knows me not.
Forgiveness died in the
War with my rage.
Surely but gladly,
Your head I will lay down-
On the softest of cotton.
I will read scriptures for the Goodness there once was
Of you.
Then Psalms will I say,
In all my fury for you.
Your door I will close peacefully, As the second to last
Of your chapter.
I'll talk to your shiny black door,
Then.....
I'll lay you down in that which You came from.
A thick brownish-red blanket
Will give you warmth but
Give you a taste of coldness.
I'll smile as if I know
Not who the culprit is.
Your chapter has ended.
From above comes
Crying.
Why weep for someone evil?
I walk away with nothing but an Abyss in my chest.
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 8:29 PM UTC
Sometimes it's a rush.
It's energetic to feel,
All at once.
Yet, I want to restrain
From such vulnerability.
Detachment I seek.
I find no shelter.
When I feel, I loathe
Such weaknesses.
Yet, when I feel not-
Even the slightest *****
I curse at such barriers.
"Forbid me not, to feel."
I am my own enemy
In this psychological state.
I let darkness engulf me.
Whole.
Sometimes it's a rush.
It's energetic to feel,
All at once.
I feel it in my veins,
My blood. Yet, somehow,
I fail to fathom,
How I have come to love,
But come to despise-
Feeling.
Crazy you may call me or
Maybe challenged-
But I understand at some point.
I fail to comprehend at the same time.
Maybe that's a sign,
That I need help,
Relief from my foe.
Me. Myself.
In this
Psychological state
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 8:27 PM UTC
One main thing I-
Fail to understand is how
Someone so intelligent
Can feel so devoid
Of knowledge.
Is because he regards your
Input on him sir?
Could it be that he values your
Opinion so much?
Are you that important to
A life worth as much as his?
How did you acquire such
Great importance to make
One of the most knowledgeable
Feel so worthless?
What a wonder this is to me.
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 21, 2019 at 11:25 PM UTC
Is it so wrong.
Good sir, to
Miss them?
I try to move on but
There are days when
I want them back.
So bad.
So many things
Pass through my head.
I wish sometimes
That these things would
Get easier.
But sir, if I may,
"What should I do?"
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 8:17 PM UTC
When I have closed the
Door, turned my back.
Please..
Let me go.
I have forgiven. Now
I want only to be free.
Imploration to let me be.
Once when I was
Consumed by such vile
Emotions, I was so heavy.
Forgiveness has shown me
Freedom.
That freedom I wish to
Keep. Please
Let me go. I
Want to be free.
I love you always.
But stay with all those
Raw emotions I had,
Stay-
Behind me.
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 8:11 PM UTC
Such bounds of treachery I-
Have never felt. No one
Should have to feel.
The element of trust
Set a blaze.
And then-
When one begins to reign their
Wrath, you make him look like
The Greater Of Evils.
You make him this way
With the everlasting betrayal,
You carry out so-
Flawlessly.
And he who has stopped his
Heart from beating,
Once, twice for someone else
Just for you. You
Make him out to be the-
Beast he is today.
Then you set sail to impale him.
Take his life when he only rains
Wrath to try to not feel the hurt,
The treachery against him.
That same beast once was family.
The beast you hunt,
Set aside his heart, his soul
And spirit for you.
Your safety, your guidance, your
Happiness.
And you have yet! To
Show him the same love.
Slay him unknowingly once, thrice. Yet he forgives thee.
Call it a day and hug him
Forwards then impale
Such noble beast backwards.
Disgrace him no more,
Let him lay!
Decorate, go around,
Not his grave! Shed no
Tear for this is your doing.
Lie not to thyself. Act
Not a saint to the crime
You have committed.
Pray you die-
A death the pain-
Of ten thousand folds
Of what thy brother felt,
When you betrayed him,
Plotted against him,
Slayed him yourself.
Die with regret suffocating
You but shed not one
Tear.
For you have earned this.
You deserve this.
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 4, 2019 at 7:32 PM UTC