Heart in my throat, choking on my own words.
No amount of fear capable of freeing me from the truth.
I need it, I want it, I have to have it.
It’s breaking me down to an atomic level.
Just once, would you indulge me?
This simple dead man walking among the living?
The apocalypse starts with me, the zombie uneager to stray from slumber.
The way the sun hits against my eyes is nothing compared to your smile.
At least that can get me out of bed in the morning.
You’re gone now, aren’t you?
Left by my lonesome, a stray dog who bit his own leash off.
Thinking freedom lied in solitude, rather than your arms.
On command, I would attack, sink my fangs in to our enemies.
And I bit the hand that fed me.
As did you.
What’s become of us?
Why did we drift away?
Was it fate driving us, or was one of us steering the other over the edge?
In every beginning, there is an end.
The end of us catered to the beginning of this newfound misery.
Were you ever even real to begin with?
A fever dream, fabricated from my desperation?
If so, why?
Why must this hollow heart cave in with the walls of the nightmare?
Or maybe,
It’s me..
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 11:07 PM UTC
I can’t wait
To see you again
To never leave your side
Bury me deep beneath your ecstacy
Soon I’ll make you my bride!
Your cunning distance
Traveling everywhere and nowhere.
Such little resistance
From those you’ve influenced.
Millions around the world can’t wait to meet you.
Billions, they ******* hate you, they try to defeat you.
Cowards, all of them, one by one, left unblocked.
Tag me the next time you’re back in town.
A hospital, an accident, a graveyard
Lemme know when you’re around.
Style chic like perfect masquerade
I’ve seen every single inch of you
Except that beautiful face.
Come on, baby, don’t be shy
Just one more loving embrace!
I’ll do it again just to see you
I’ll do whatever it ******* takes!
All that I ask is for your signature kiss.
Black lipstick that take men's breath away.
Let’s leave this place, take me with you.
Alone together, this time I want to be here to stay.
Your skin, so cold, but warms my heart.
Chilling and skipping each beat, I can’t stop.
Choking on words, I’ve nothing left to prove.
My mind goes blank with the words,
“I love you”.
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 8:44 PM UTC
Who was I then?
What’s become of us?
When did the time go by?
Where did it all go?
Why has it come to this?
How can I fix it?
Beating my chest like a drum made out of paper
Wearing out the scratches of text.
The wolf dressed in black.
Oh, he’s become such a mess.
Sinking his teeth in the neck of effort
Clawing his way through ties.
Abandoning what once was, and what is now.
In his world, there is no sunrise.
Howling, howling to an eternity.
Forever trapped in this null void.
The building blocks of his character
Brought down by his agony, destroyed.
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 12:47 AM UTC
I can’t sleep without you.
These walls are caving in.
The stars are set, clear view.
Oh where should even begin?
Loyalty not question, but a sin.
Heartstrings that can play a song along the skin.
You haven’t taken a thing from me,
But I’ve so much more to give.
We’ll stay up all night, vibing.
Late night calls when it rains.
But the sky is crying for us now.
The distance is widening.
Flying solo, what’s this pain?
We’re drying out even though I still see rain clouds.
It’s just not for show.
I’m really trying this time.
Wallowing alone.
How could I’ve been so blind?
We can make things right this time.
But I’m too scared to call you.
And that’s ‘cuz neither of us have tried.
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 12:34 AM UTC
I’m lost, unable to truly love.
Satisfying my own needs.
Make it hard for me to sweep you off your feet.
I make it harder to want to even be here.
Don’t bother trying to get close
You’ll burn out at the starting line.
Don’t try to captivate my heart, you’ll overdose.
A poison lingering inside.
Give up on getting me to talk.
‘Cuz I gave up a long, long time ago.
I really don’t even want to do much.
I don’t want to socialize, just leave me alone.
Don’t bother trying to reach me.
I’ll cut you off if you’ve come too far.
I don’t have that many tendons left.
I’m already battered and scarred.
Don’t tell me that it’s not hard.
I haven’t tried every method.
But I’ve tried all of mine from the very start.
Let go of me, I’ll keep pushing back anyways.
Look you straight, dead in the eyes.
Lie to you, “It’s fine, I’ll be okay”.
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 5:54 PM UTC
One o’clock in the afternoon, it’s too early for this ****
Too ****** up to even move out of bed.
This little light of mine needs to dim a little more.
Black out so I can see the stars again.
It’s really not all that bad, unless you’re afraid of the dark.
The world is so different when the Sun goes out.
Shift the gears to manual, hitting 80 on the highway.
I don’t want this feeling to ever stop.
But of course where there’s night, the day is chasing after it.
Trade this time in my life for the bright smile I’ve learned to fake.
Burn my eyes to the role that I was long assigned to play.
I should switch to the night shift.
Then I’d never have to change.
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 2:08 PM UTC
We’ll stare into each other’s eyes
A seabed of imaginations
Devoid of others prophesied
Delving in to lustful sensations
A world where sadness dies
A moment we two have created.
A world no one else can find.
I wake to realize we haven’t dated.
Dreams are lucid, taunting memories
That’ve yet to happen
It’s up to me to see it through
Hardly knowing each other
I can see that I’m see through to you
I knew
But I still kept on trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel
Bright, bright, oh bright, gentle and subtle.
Shadows that want me to themselves
I’ll reject them until I’ve made my bed in the coffin.
With you, with you, is all I ever I want to be
Signs of dismay
The scorpion’s rebirth
The tunnel a labyrinth, a cave
My chest is swelling, I’m hurt.
Confessions at the lowest rate
“I like you”, I said, you said,
“It’s not me, it’s you.”
I still kept on trying, and trying, to find the light
At the end of the tunnel
No more, that’s it, I’ve tried.
I can’t put up with the fight.
Dimmer, and dimmer, darkness
Has suffocated my only light
Embrace them, and take them
Snug in the bed of my own coffin.
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 2:04 PM UTC
I can’t think of a reason
I don’t see any meaning
It all hurts, but there’s no bleeding
The cleaving, the cleaving
Wrapped in an all black dress
Headspins, the crowd is ecstatic
You walk to me, then I wake
I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming
Oh, you taunt me in my sleep
A broken, hopeless mess
Refusing to rest
Symbolizing my depravity
No you don’t even know what’s best
Heartstrings pulled from my chest
I want you here
But you’re only in the deepest of sleep
What do you even care?
Perfect moments laying stuck in repeat
Kick over the chair
To match that beautiful outfit
This is my despair
No way out, no outlet.
I can’t sleep
I can’t move
I’m trapped in this limbo of urgency
I can’t speak
I can’t breathe
Performing a surgery with those eyes
So refine
Put me to sleep, or be my demise
It’ll be fine
I’ll close off my mind
And think nothing of you.
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 2:02 PM UTC
Happiness, a strange thing.
Happiness with you, more than anything
I need to be with you, but it
Feels like I’m losing my touch.
Happiness, a brave thing.
Happiness with you, I’m begging for it please tell me where you’re going because it
Feels like I’m losing your touch.
You’re my light, yeah.
Otherwise, it’s all the same.
It’s just all the same.
All the same.
Happiness, deranged me.
Happiness with you, all I can think about, it’s true
I’m so ashamed, but it
Feels like I’m losing too much
Happiness, leave me.
Happiness with you, questions left unanswered, no clues
I’m to blame but lately it
Feels like you’re losing enough.
Why?
Why did it go to waste.
It’s all gone to waste.
A fire no longer tamed.
No longer the same.
Happiness, a stranger.
Happiness abandoned, the ship a wreck, seasick, no longer standing
And I
Have given in too far
Happiness, belated.
Happiness, I’m stranded, gashed the wound and taped over with a bandage
And yet
You’re too far out at sea for me.
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 12:04 PM UTC
Smoke away all the problems
Cloud your mind with the fog
I’m too beat up for this ****
I’m too tired to care anymore.
Keeping quiet underneath the lighter
How many times do I gotta say it?
I’m just always ******* tired.
And it hurts to even move.
Nerves of steel melting away.
My body doesn’t know what to do.
Leave me alone.
I’m making love to the trauma that you left.
Serpents swimming in the back of my head.
Call me later.
I’m too busy sleeping.
There’s something greater.
Not strong enough, a simple weakling.
Never said it aloud, but I’m far from proud.
And that’s all I’ve ever been thinking.
Shoot me a text, reply fast as ****
Six hours later, I was never enough.
Pack up my **** you threw out my stuff.
Told you I’m leaving and you called my bluff.
The world’s become one massive headache.
If you won’t take me out, I’ll do it myself, for my sake.
Don’t call me later.
I’m too busy making up my mind.
I’ve fallen too deep.
Too long for me to even find.
Alcohol with no chaser.
Drugs that fit like the design.
I’m ******* exhausted.
Too weak to even wave goodbye.
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 12:02 PM UTC