I feel so many eyes
Pressing against my skin
Peering at my surface
But I've never felt anyone's eyes
Look within
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 4:46 AM UTC
Can I ask you a question?
If I answer yes to yours,
Will I have a family,
Be part of something more?
Will I finally be accepted?
Loved?
Cared about?
Wanted?
Needed?
I know the emptiness.
But, I lied to you love.
I always feel less empty
When I'm around you.
Even if you don't around me.
And that's okay.
You are the love of my life
Even if I'm not yours.
But, let me ask you a question.
Is there a chance?
Will there ever be?
Will you understand the reason I'm like this?
Accept me as me?
Will things change?
And will we know each other, in twenty years?
Not worth dwelling on what came before,
But now I wonder
If you want me there as a friend
Or as something else.
Either way, I'll say yes.
But you need to return my calls...
Nov 3, 2020
Nov 3, 2020 at 9:35 PM UTC
My heartbeat
Does it matter more
Than my experience?
My mind?
My soul?
When you say
I shouldn't have a choice
Because of one beat
Of a heart
You are saying
I do not matter
Anymore
That my body is just here
For a heartbeat
And that the rest of me
Should be
Ignored
You say,
I should get my tubes tied
Or make them wear protection
Or be on birth control
That if I can't take responsibility,
I should be forced to be sterilized
Like a rat in an experiment gone wrong
******* ****
Oct 28, 2020
Oct 28, 2020 at 7:25 PM UTC
He, who thought-
...and thought wrong...
-that he owned my body
Once looked at me with fear in his eyes,
because he finally saw me...
He said, "I never realized that you were
CRAZIER than me,"
I only laughed,
Smiled a shy smile,
13 is a lucky number-
I was still just a child,
I didn't flinch
As the knife went
Into
Him
Oct 15, 2020
Oct 15, 2020 at 6:46 PM UTC
You were supposed to be nothing to me.
Why did you become my everything?
You don't owe me anything.
Why do I feel like you hurt me?
Oct 15, 2020
Oct 15, 2020 at 6:41 PM UTC
You said god is weakness
Don't gather your strength
From poison waters
Do not drink
I still carry your weight
Across the rising tide
I will wade
Until one of us dies
Don't confide in me, no
I won't do the same
The power of paranoia
Don't underestimate
You asked me on the riverbank
If through the cold, I could feel something
No, I am numb
You said you liked me better this way
You needed to know I felt all of your pressure
No, I am numb
I am become
Death
The destroyer of worlds
Oct 15, 2020
Oct 15, 2020 at 4:22 AM UTC
Eyes
Full of the world, say more than her
Lips
Speak quiet conviction, whisper powerful truths
Soft shoulders
Have no chips, but keep anvils from falling on her feet
Strong arms
Carry her burdens farther than most would dare
Courageous soul
Burns faster than wildfire, but never burns out
And I wish
So deeply
That I meant more to her
That the night we spent together was because she wanted me,
And not him..
And I wonder
What would it have been,
If I hadn't fallen for both of them?
Oct 9, 2020
Oct 9, 2020 at 7:02 PM UTC
I was carrying your child.
Now, I just carry
Solemn responsibility
And stoic acceptance
Of death
Oct 9, 2020
Oct 9, 2020 at 6:47 PM UTC
I still smell like you
And we haven't touched each other
In weeks...
Oct 9, 2020
Oct 9, 2020 at 6:38 PM UTC
I can't live anymore.
You took the last drop of blood from my still beating heart
And mixed it with your sorrow.
And in your selfishness,
Enthralled in your own pain,
You forgot that you are not the only one.
You said
I love you
I'm afraid
Don't touch my heart,
Because it hurts
Because I'll miss you
Because of the pain
Waves
Of pain
Shattering
The glass on the beaches
Sharper than knives
Littering the stretch
Of our reminiscence
With fading
Luminescence
Those places once full of life
Now desolate
The only friend to those waves
Is the lightning that strikes
The shores
Alongside
Your grave
I
Can't save
Everyone
But I Wish
That I could
Just save
You
Abandoned
With no alternative
The cliffside crumbles
Into inevitable ruin
That lies beyond
Waters edge.
Black
Sand beach
Beautiful ghost
Of a past not ever
To be seen
Again
You become the sand
And the sky
The rocks
And the water
I am embraced
By your shallow warmth
The reflection of sunlight
From the moon
Hitting your body
I am sinking
Breathing
In every
Grain
Of
You
Even the rocks
Jagged, some smooth
Some cut my skin
I know it's so you can
Taste
My blood
Warmer than the beach at night
Absorb part of me
As you
Corrupt
Every part of me
I am
Buried now
I can no longer see
Your beautiful surface
But I keep lying to myself
Telling myself that this
Mixture of blood and
Sand is everything
More worth it
Than life
And...
...It will always be my honor
My pleasure...
To die beneath your waves.
Oct 9, 2020
Oct 9, 2020 at 6:23 PM UTC