with tears in my eyes
pillow Soaked
in all the lies
of the dreams we once smoked
years of a life that will live on
unknown
in a world once shared
by 2 no mans
plagued by memories of mistakes
i cant Own
plagued by memories of a Lost place
we called home
Jul 4, 2022
Jul 4, 2022 at 3:39 AM UTC
I just want to go home, but
home is a place I've only ever known in the hearts of those I told to go
who chose to stay until I betrayed how I felt in one ******* day
and now that they've listened I'm sobbing and licking the pits missing the flesh ripped away
as I had begged them to stay
Dec 17, 2021
Dec 17, 2021 at 3:13 AM UTC
Seconds lasted
And now they're plastered
Across my mind like my brain was blasted
To a whole new world
To a whole new state
Where energy won't matter
Just our human state
While the world was living
Our world was a prison
But life was a garden
Lit by fluorescent stars
In days spent in cards
My heart had arisen
My mind was empty
But my thoughts were stampeding
The nasty things my body was needing
The dreams my heart kept on bleeding
The acids I saw that my eyes kept on eating
I'd stop them until my soul started leaving
My mouth quoted a bible misleading
The ones who I loved and for I they were breathing
Keeping my cell locked in the garden of eden
I'd known you for life and they pushed me right out
(To be birthed in the world and make a new ground)
just one short touch
Like god coming down my heart began to rush
Your blood flow right thru me
I stuck to old rules so the old didn't rule me
Made a new life
Tailored something to suit me
I'd followed a heretic who painted on walls
Cause babe in the end I'd ruin my life
If you'd be my all
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 5:39 AM UTC
I'm stuck in a heart wood box
I just wish my heart would stop
I got a cute little house
But all the bedrooms are locked
And when the doorbell rang
I always had to explain
The huge ******* flames
That tore the walls from their frames
The housewarming party was popping
Seemed like a good time to stop it
Before the floors all caved in
To the caves below
that were a bit more lived-in
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 5:33 AM UTC
Every night when I go home
Get in bed all alone
Laying down staring up
Wanting to atone
For all my sins
To win again
And begin again
A new life
A new friend
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 5:28 AM UTC
Lights out
Searching for a meaning
Hearts open
But barely beating
Mouths open
Filled with smoke and tongues
Breezes drifting from all our lungs
Lost in those winds
Lost in my mind
Losing everything I once called mine
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 5:26 AM UTC
It's just one bad desicion and a realization to the right, you can't miss it
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 5:25 AM UTC
I just wish things could go back to the way they used to be
Life was great
Well not exceptionally
I could be me
Except it wasnt me
I just refused to see i was bleeding
When it hurt i just stole some ****
And light it up
The fill a cup
With the lie you fed to me
Till I lit it up found the truth
And smoked up all my dreams
I went up in flames
Now I'm searching fame
Want to hear crowds chanting my names
But first I gotta make a name
Cause without it he'll come back
Blame you for all I did
When it wasnt your fault,
I acted like a kid,
A kid grown up
On insane dreams and amphetamines
Cause it gave me ambition
Enough to rule the world
But it left me there wishing
That I knew why
So I could answer my cries
But I knew all along
I would just rather die
Cause the sober dreams were always a lie
But these coked out nights always settled the fights
That I had with me
When I flipped
Changed over
To a whole new guy
Because you got me ****** up
And I feel the need to fly
Cause I already feel like I'm up in the sky
Blacked out so I can spend some time with god
Up in the light
But just for tonight
And let my body flow
Cause now he can vibe
Through life
Through pain
The only one he needs is that sweet *******
Never caring where he goes
But that shit's not quite right
It's my own **** hide
My *** on the line
Always ready to **** myself
Bent over some dumb ****
So I wont ne smart enough to know I'm not fine
So I'll stretch myself far and wide
So I can blame him for everything I do before I die
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 4:58 PM UTC
I said I'd always care and I meant that, it's the truth even if I ain't right there I've done this all for you, I hate it as I sleep like a bed of nails but instead it's my head resting in a bed of lies cause I said we were done and I stopped feeling your pain but I lied to you so I wouldn't actually see our love wane
Oct 18, 2017
Oct 18, 2017 at 12:04 AM UTC
******* **** I can't do this anymore this makes me more depressed than I've ever known before but I keep doing it because its mature it demonstrates my ability as a thoughtful lil **** but now I just want to be happy, but not to be happy but feel happy as I let people stab my heart, like reaching for roses through the thorns so maybe I won't, ill back pedal a bit, go back to being a child, then try dumb youthful **** like ***** drugs and dirtier **** because being mature meant growing up, so I skipped a few steps and it makes it feel like **** so lets go back to a time before time became something to go back about, because growing up only makes you mature if you've taken the time to mature as you grow up
Aug 7, 2017
Aug 7, 2017 at 4:36 AM UTC