My hands shake
My chest hurts
My heart yearns
I am alone
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 27, 2018 at 4:41 PM UTC
Oh how I’d welcome the darkness!
Let it’s cool embrace sweep me off my feet
Take my mind, rid me of the curse of consciousness
The gift of nothing is all I want; my tired mind can take no more!
Let go!
Oh please, just stop thinking!
Let go of your mind
(Stop repeating stupid songs in your head)
Leave this plane of existence
(1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, 4 sheep, pink psychologist sheep says I’m slightly loopy)
I can’t make sense of the thoughts that slug around my head
(Just close your eyes)
Ascend to another world
(Ok, stop writing **** and just try to sleep)
…
(I have exams tomorrow)
...
It’s too hot
It’s too cold
My pillow is too hard
And now it’s too soft
I can’t stop moving
And now I can’t move
(I somehow cut the blood flow to my leg)
...
Jun 17, 2018
Jun 17, 2018 at 5:02 PM UTC
I’m a fanatic when it comes to finding ways to **** myself
A zealot of self destruction
Addicted to pain
The knife pulls me closer
It promises happiness
It shows me ecstasy within my blood
The bottle beckons
“Come in, have a drink. Forget”
It wraps me around it’s spindly fingers
Twiddles me around it’s thumb
“Forget”
My music
It tells me of worlds far away
Promises peace
A quick escape from anything
…
But now The bottle makes me remember
The music brings me closer to everything
And the knife no longer feeds me
It simply bleeds me
Because nothing compares
To my addiction
To you
Jun 2, 2018
Jun 2, 2018 at 6:18 AM UTC
I just hurt everyone
I fabricate false truths like art
I weave them together like threads in a tapestry
A kind of poisonous performance art
I steal others ideas and use them as mine
Upon an alter I sacrifice friends to the abyss
And for what?
Who knows why
Long ago has my fire burned out
Its last sparks disappearing as I write
Too young am I
To cloud over with the sorrows of my past
My possible futures I’ve given up
Just to cry
Stuck like a record player
I repeat the same mistakes
I repeat the same mistaks
I repeat the same misaks
I repeat the same mstks
I repeat the same mstk
I repeat the same mtk
I repeat the same mk
I repeat the same m
until there are no more to repeat
and those that loved me
leave me
I fall in spiral
Endlessly into an infinite hole
Unable to stop
Yet it is me
I am killing myself
I can’t live like this anymore
But I know I will
No matter what anyone says
The last sparks of hope,
That used to blaze
An inferno in my eyes and soul
Mind and body,
Have died
lies
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 12:42 PM UTC
Like fireflies they dance on my eyes
Twisting and turning as I lose consciousness
Sparks that float upon my pupils
Burning
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 6:27 AM UTC
My little astroman
You float through the empty
A tiny white
Against a giant blue,
A beautiful diamond in an infinite black
It is free
It is alive
It is wonderful
It is Earth
However...
My little astroman,
Utterly alone
With no one by your side
Sit and watch
As the world
Burns
In an instant
With blinding brilliance
A once Beautiful diamond
Has become grey coal
For this gem is marked with fury and fire
The world blazes,
it’s charred throat too burnt to scream
It’s eyes to seared too see
My little astroman
You know you will never go back
Never see the red
Nor feel the green
Never hear the birds
Nor taste the air
...you reach out...
My little astroman
no longer do you have a home
My little astroman,
Now, do you float alone
May 28, 2018
May 28, 2018 at 4:47 PM UTC
To walk neon beaches
The space between (dimensions)
A vibrant limbo
16 bit roads lined with palm trees
These neon beaches I walk
This purgatory between life and death
A simulacrum of reality that bleeds colour
A place isolated from existence
May 28, 2018
May 28, 2018 at 4:11 PM UTC
Look, look outside...
A wave of grey engulfs the horizon
It stretches forever
Slowly, it creeps towards you
It devours the very sky above
Surrounded by a moving wall of impenetrable power
All is silent
Not a mouse stirs
But the electricity in the air,
It reaches out, alive
It whispers to you
It tells us of times to come
Times of terror
Of gloom,
Doom
Skyscrapers and houses
Everywhere everything we have ever worked for
Utterly consumed by the creature behind grey walls
And all the while
Silence screams in agony
As it holds back
the demons beyond
The world explodes
Ghosts scream their hollow, dreaded screams
They cry and howl
as they fly around us
Rain falls like lead
from it’s gaping maw
Sleets of invisible death pour
Trees uproot,
Cars fly,
Houses gone
It is upon you
It’s ancient power beyond comprehension
It is terrible
Yet…
It is beautiful, magnificent and worthy of awe
Close your eyes
Leave this place
travel to a world far away
A world of silence
Safety
Close your eyes
And maybe it’ll leave
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 2:25 PM UTC