I am not ok.
My mind is a maelstrom.
My heart is desolate.
I feel nothing and everything all at once.
I just want the noise to stop.
Why can’t it be silent in my head if but only for a moment.
How am I to know calm when I was designed by my environment to navigate storms and the unknown.
Why can I not be happy?
Why can I not be content?
What is so fundamentally broken about me that I plan my own downfall.
These tiny fragments fall before me meaningless and I assume they must hold some grand scheme behind them.
Loud footsteps.
Sighing.
Slamming doors.
What just fell off of the wall now?
I can’t keep treading water.
I can’t keep craning my neck skyward.
I’m tired.
Tired deep into my marrow.
Exhausted beyond sleep.
Oct 4, 2025
Oct 4, 2025 at 10:31 PM UTC
I begged you to stay but you couldn’t.
I pleaded to keep you but lost.
Countless years later.
The word home is still frozen and covered in frost. The warmth in my heart is fading.
The flame of my soul is snuffed out.
Nothing I say can bring you back.
Like a toddler I sit here and pout.
One day I won’t feel so empty.
One day I won’t feel so numb.
I’ll find you again somewhere someday and catch up under the setting sun.
Oct 4, 2025
Oct 4, 2025 at 10:29 PM UTC