I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me
I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me
I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly flinching
I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 13, 2018 at 2:15 PM UTC
I would never again
touch another drop
If it meant you'd be forever
but until then
allow me to drink myself
into complacency
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 11:58 AM UTC
Ever see someone on a bus,
On a train,
Or in a park?
And they smile,
Or tuck their hair behind an ear,
Laugh,
Or even quietly frown.
Ever see someone in public,
And picture a life?
Envision a fleeting world where you swallow fear,
And smile?
Ever catch a glimpse of a life you could live?
Aug 15, 2018
Aug 15, 2018 at 3:00 PM UTC
Sinking,
the drifting ceiling of blue and grey light
illuminating the ride.
Suffocating,
grasping for something, anything,
A light in the dark,
the eternal fading,
the last residuals of the cold falling away,
And then the transitory returns.
The golden sun, wind kissed waves,
and a weather beaten hand catching yours,
a call, joyful, echoed the gull high above,
as safety brings the glow of liberty.
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 2:38 PM UTC
When it happened
I was sitting in the corner of a busy cafe
Reading- nothing really in particular
But the song is the important cue here.
I heard it at first
Distant and faint like butterfly wings
Then it grew louder
Blame it on the night
My eyes rose from the pages
Dont blame it on me
Faintly into my ears
It's sad really
I wanted to steady myself up
Push the book into the seat
and cross the room as our eyes locked
Until we were standing breaths apart
But when I looked up
I knew **** well you wouldn't be there
Why would you be?
And I wondered
As my mind still made the image of us dancing in the middle of this coffee shop seem more like a reality
Would we ever dance again?
Maybe some day, of course not now, but distant
Perhaps in different lifetimes
However; most likely never at all
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018 at 1:25 PM UTC
No better days occur
Than when I’m alone
Especially with her
Silencing my phone
Ignoring the white noise
Whenever we meet to play
We use our hearts as toys
Speaking of true love each day
But true love is a myth
This much is true
Unless you feel a kiss
Far after it’s through
My dear friend, find shelter
That is far from love
For she is a hunter
And you are a dove
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018 at 1:24 PM UTC
Corruption and Seduction, twins living in discordant harmony.
Firstly, Corruption lives in a crowded home, in the lamplit living rooms and in the starched collars and sore legged dining halls.
Seduction lives in the attic, and ghosts from room to room, leaning on others as it passes, like an injured soldier.
Guiding into places seldom spoken of and rarely trod.
She asked him how he could change his mind so quickly.
I think his mind was never made in the first place.
Be it Corruption or Seduction, they live as synonyms and antonyms.
A promise broken, words thrown aside or forgotten, a trust crumbling to dust.
Credit this, not to one or the other, but to both, working for each other to accomplish the objectives laid at their feet by the gods.
Moments of weakness, burdened with fear and doubt, belong to this indecent pair.
Scoffed by most, yet intimately known to all, Corruption and Seduction manipulate and corrugate.
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018 at 1:23 PM UTC
I want to love you again
But tonight my lust is stronger
So that will have to do for now
Jun 1, 2018
Jun 1, 2018 at 5:30 PM UTC
cherry colored lips,
sun made freckles,
eyes that are and will always be the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen.
i didn't know life until i met you.
i didn't know love until you showed me.
i feel lucky enough to have found you and held you.
with you,
i can hear the calming sounds of the sea,
the rain sounds beautiful when i'm with you not sad,
i can see me alive two years from now.
you are my muse and i will never let you die as long as they read my words.
our love will be infinite,
we will be infinite.
Jun 1, 2018
Jun 1, 2018 at 5:30 PM UTC
Nevermind what I said,
all those years ago, leaning into you with the soft gravity of love.
Nevermind where we were,
even though it's just a few feet away from me right now.
Forget the way it was said,
the words uttered low, sweet to your ears, almost tangibly yours.
Forget the way it made you feel,
each syllable serenading your jilted senses.
Please take away the memory,
tear from me the double edged recollections
of you.
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 1:39 PM UTC