Everyday I tell myself
I'm not sad, I'm just tired.
I'm not depressed, I just need nicotine.
I don't need anyone else, I'm better off alone.
But when it comes time for me to fix these issues, I **** it up.
I'm not scared of dying,
I'm scared of living.
I'm not scared of trying,
I'm scared of not being enough.
My heart burns for better,
But how can I have better if I keep myself at the bottom?
Mar 20, 2021
Mar 20, 2021 at 3:23 PM UTC
I often think of you, the one that got away.
The nights staying up until 4am
I regret nothing.
I wish you would let me stay
I thought to you my humor would mean something
But alas.
It is you after all, Mark zuckerburg.
Apr 10, 2020
Apr 10, 2020 at 6:25 AM UTC
Poison.
Poison is all that's on my mind.
I could go out in edgy flair
By the point of a dagger
Or, I could disappear by poison.
Free myself from this cage with cyanide
A sleepy, seamless death.
No marks
No pain
Just true freedom.
No more drugs pumping through my body to stall while death is lurking
Maybe then
I could finally be released of the pain I hold in my chest
The pain of a thousand wishes and hopes orphaned
Crushed
I'll never be worthwhile.
I know that.
May this last vision
To some so vile
Be carried out for once in my life.
Mar 29, 2020
Mar 29, 2020 at 5:18 AM UTC
I had a dream
A vision of brilliance,
A beautiful scene
After all you put me through
I've learned to see
That my story isn't anywhere close
To what it had seemed
Instead, I'm content
To live on my own
Not you, or you, or you on my team
Just I
Alone
Living the dream
Feb 18, 2020
Feb 18, 2020 at 1:11 PM UTC
In a prison
She is locked up
The walls are lined with I told you so's
And regret
The air smells of a warmth and brightness 130 miles away
If she could get out,
But she is stuck.
The wind whispers her name
Longing to reach her,
To caress her,
To lightly kiss her skin with wind carried rays of sun.
Some enter on occasion,
But the rest are a longing.
How the wind longs for her
How she hopes to feel the wind
Someday,
She will be out
And the wind will rejoice.
May 4, 2018
May 4, 2018 at 3:27 PM UTC
Like a lion, she stands fiercely beautiful.
Her mane of hair like rays of sun.
She guards the woods-- I long to enter them.
Something mysterious draws me in.
Maybe it's the birds with their glistening red and black hoods.
I want to tame the lion,
its eyes like deep oceans, full of emotion.
I give it my whole heart and respect,
And finally, I am with the birds, flying
Apr 7, 2018
Apr 7, 2018 at 1:33 PM UTC