There you are
Taking my body
Into your arms
Telling me
Yes
Yes
You can
Do anything.
I breathe a sigh of relief
I am finally
Here
I
Am finally home.
Thank you
For handling me
With such care,
For covering me in sunshine,
For
So patiently
Waiting
Watching
Me grow.
I am in constant bloom.
The real beauty
Is that
You have no idea what you have done,
You
Can feel
Love strengthening your bones,
Breaking your ice.
I
Am
Your home
As well.
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 3:55 PM UTC
I could endlessly banter
About how you were
A
******* storm,
How you stole the air from my lungs,
How you drenched my heart
In a unfamiliar love,
How you wrapped me up
Under full moons
And made me howl
Into so many nights
In uncharted territories.
I could fess up
About how I can still feel the warmth of your body
Your back to mine.
But the real truth
Is
This,
You were a spineless ************
Too afraid of my voice,
Too afraid
Of
My power.
You were a coward
Every
Time
You tried to
Break me,
Every
Time
You tried to
Make me believe
That I was beneath you;
I spit my blood in your face.
I am everything
You
Have
Ever wanted,
But my
Shine
is just
too
Bright for you.
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 3:50 PM UTC
You
Forced a kiss
In concrete city.
I
Thought
We were
Perfect.
My orange mohawk
Your fingers discovering every
Part of me
Diving
In
And
Out
I melted
In the back seat
Beneath your scrawny poisoned arms.
I thought
Maybe
I was bigger than the things I couldn’t understand
I thought
Maybe
If I loved you
If I disappeared
Became one with your shadow
That maybe
You would choose me.
I even became a contortionist.
Molding myself
Into your fantasy
Soft ******
Love affair.
But I never could get the ****** part
Quite right
I could never love her
Like you loved her.
I could never
Be
The image
You painted of me
In your head.
I am
Not that
Girl.
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 3:49 PM UTC
I am guilty
Of diving head first
Into the arms of
Broken boys.
I wrap myself around
underdeveloped hearts,
Softly stroking
Fully inflated egos,
I stretch myself thin,
This
Is love.
See?
I am barely visible
I am disappearing
Faded like the soft blue veins
Mapped out like dainty roads
Up and down
Up
And
Down
My pale moon skin.
When
You do not see me
You never ask
Where
I've gone.
This is how
I was taught to love.
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 3:47 PM UTC
I will run away
No one will ever catch me
Not even the wind will know
Which way it is that I am blowing.
I will mourn old lovers,
Dance with my drunken demons
Retching familiar promises
Once told between the thin blankets
Of a great green mountain generous moon.
I'll stash these memories
Under that bridge we loved in Salt Lake City,
Remember?
The one that kept us dry when it seemed
Like the earth just wouldn’t cut us a break.
I'll hide this ragged heart
In no man's mountain.
I'll strip this skin,
Peel gingerly back from these
Sun bleached bones,
I will be trampled by interstate stallions.
My body mangled,
Tossed to the side,
Forgotten.
That is what it takes to become untouchable.
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 9:42 AM UTC
I remember the only time I was ever loved
Under a black tar night in a cemetery
Smoking too many cigarettes ,
his hand fell into mine,
fear rolled up my back .
And I so badly wondered what it'd be like to kiss this boy
Instead I kissed adversary.
Sometimes I see that boy I never kissed
We will forever be star crossed lovers.
There isn't a cemetery
Or a perfect dusky night
That doesn’t remind me
Of the only time I ever felt loved.
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 10:06 AM UTC
I've resorted to magic
To the mysteries of the universe
To everything intangible
Just to try to rid myself of you.
No matter,
I still wake up
Thinking of all the sunsets driving across Wyoming,
Falling asleep at abandoned rest areas,
Waking up in deep thicket.
You were by my side.
life flows on
things change,
People grow,
Together,
Apart.
I imagine getting over you is supposed to be like this grand amazing thing,
I wake up in the morning and dance in my underwear,
The sun is shining, my favorite songs play on the radio, my coffee is perfect,
Maybe my chest feels a little lighter.
But I know now
It's really like watching a profound festering wound
Sluggishly pull itself together.
I know that faint scar will just become another constellation
Connecting the freckles I religiously trace with my fingers.
You will just be a story,
Something told but repeatedly forgotten,
The bits and pieces of you staying with shards of my memory
I have been throwing away since I was 7.
I'd like to think of you as a warning,
Something i've survived,
thickened my skin,
Made me a wizened bard crowing under the moonlight.
Knowing you forced me to shake,
Rattle myself from the confines of a skin
That just wasn’t fitting anymore.
Perhaps you should be thanked,
Perhaps applauded,
You moved a ******* mountain.
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 9:26 AM UTC
Junk sickness unearths this
Deep-rooted, oozing desperation.
Slack jaws,
Eyes
Bouncing in the back of your skull.
Tear through the paper flesh,
Scraping for a vein
Needing of
Molestation,
Mutilation,
Shredded from that constant need,
That whining itch,
To feel nothing
And everything all at once.
Praying for the earth to melt
Around the bare bones
Of the walking dead.
I am
But an observer
Stuffed in the back seat
While needles clog,
Blood surges,
Rage stirs.
I am
Just a spectator
To their universe coming to a
Creeping
Dull thud,
As they dream of better days that will
Surely come.
I am
Not sure
If it's possible to dig yourself
Back up
From the depths of a self-made grace.
I am
Not sure
If there is life after dope.
Lust swelters,
The shot is done,
We drive on.
Apr 5, 2016
Apr 5, 2016 at 7:06 PM UTC
I have spent
Too many miles
In the beds
Of strangers
Pick up trucks
And
Roaring
Freight trains
To settle
For a quiet,
Small
Life.
I am a wayfarer,
Wanderer,
Vagrant.
No walls can keep me.
I am too
Massive
For civil norms,
I am
Too much
For a habitual society.
A roof would
Keep me from the stars.
How could I
Give up the rising sun?
A door would keep me
From all of the strangers
That I call my allies.
There is too much of this world
That I have caught
A glimpse of,
There is still
Deep-rooted mystery,
I can feel it beneath my feet
With every mile I roam.
The magic rouses
My being,
Stirs my soul.
Though
This may feel like a curse,
Some just weren't meant to
Fit
Into
The puzzle.
Some
Are
Free radicals,
Disturbing the peace,
Agitating the possibilities,
Proving
Freedom isn't dead,
Freedom isn't free,
Freedom is something
That must be stolen,
Freedom is to be
Taken into your own
Two hands.
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 9:56 AM UTC
I am not sure
If I am an artist,
But I like to watch
The way your mouth
Creeps into a smile,
And how your laugh
Crawls deep from the bottom
Of your belly.
I like the way your eyes
Glisten
When you first pry them open.
I like the way your hands
Hold onto me,
As if I'll float
Up
Up
And
Away.
No, I don't know
If I am an artist,
But I can recognize a masterpiece
When I see one.
Feb 22, 2016
Feb 22, 2016 at 10:42 AM UTC