Why won’t you accept who I am
It’s like my whole existence is a sham
I’m told about who I used to be
What if that other me was never even really me
And what if I said I’ve changed
What if I’ve grown up and rearranged.
Sure I still love to bake and read
But I’m not the same, let me grow I plead.
I’m an artist. But to what extent.
I can be creative but I should have your consent.
I can draw and be wild
But in your eyes I am still I child.
I want my body as my canvas, to hold the things I love.
But it’s like I am a bandit, one you want rid of.
I want to color my hair to change with the wind.
But you’re inclined to remind me that it’s “just not me”
I never stopped being me don’t you see.
It’s how the me I am should be.
Don’t hold me back
I might draw back.
And sink into my void.
All because you destroyed.
Your wild blue eyed bird
May 2, 2018
May 2, 2018 at 6:05 PM UTC
There are holes in my eyes that swallow the light
There's a hole in my mouth I can't seem to fight
There are holes in my ears where people yell at me
There's a hole in my chest where my heart used to be
There are holes in my side from dreaded knife wounds
There's a hole in my stomach that won't be filled soon
There are holes in my leg that seep with blood
There's a hole in my foot that's filled with mud
There's a hole in my mind I'd like to find
And a hole in my smile I haven't seen for a while.
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 6:27 AM UTC
She was beautifully broken
Her voice was not spoken
Her tears stained the lining of her cheeks
Her life could never seem so bleak
With news like this
The world has now become a dark abyss
Take me now
Take me far
How can you
How can I
You leave me in pieces
Beaten and bruised
Just then all life just ceases
And all your turns have been used.
Check mate, you loose
Take me here
Take me there
How could he
How could she
A heart so brutally used
So with a scar it can be fused
Don't leave me here
Oh can't you hear
The devil cries out to endear
Take me back
Take me up
How dare you
How dare I
This pain will not forfeit it's prize
It only wants its disguise
It hides in broken futures
And cries in broken lies
I seem to not recognize my face anymore
Take me out
Take me down
How dare he
How dare she
The mirror reflects your face now
Your obituary will be my vow
I'll keep you close
I'll keep you near
Maybe you'll find me here
Take me
Take me
How could you die
Take me
Take me
How should I die
And what the heaven
And what the art
Could heal the sinews of my heart
Jul 21, 2017
Jul 21, 2017 at 5:40 PM UTC
Depression is an addiction
A saddists representation
Of what is a fascination
You want love without pain
But you end up with pain and no love
No this isn't freedom you don't end it with a white dove.
You're happy but you're fighting that feeling
To rip your skin till its tingling
And you know your okay
But the pain could return any day
And you long for that certain kind of sadness
That energy you get from all the badness
And your mother said no
But your heart said don’t let go
And you’re fighting a war inside your head
And the place to find rest isn’t your bed
You prey, you pray
You let go of the fray
But you don’t fall
God is that you? Am I dead? Is it true?
Why child don’t you see? I sent my son to save thee.
You’re not dead. Not even near.
I’ve come to take away all your fear.
Oh God I don’t deserve this.
This heavenly abyss.
I’ve done wrong for all to long.
I don’t deserve your love. I don’t deserve to be up above.
Child be at peace. Your sin is yet to cease.
You are human are you not?
Or have you forgot?
But my mercy is abundant
And you’ve yet to pass your judgement
Child I will give you what you seek
If you may ask me, if you’re not too meek.
Father, forgive me, all I have is yours
It may not be much but I’m down on all fours.
Child I forgive you, but this is your cue
Go out and spread my word
My beautiful song bird
Jul 17, 2017
Jul 17, 2017 at 7:35 PM UTC
Sorry babe I lost my shadow
Just like Peter Pan
I may be a little bit hollow
But I can fly
I can show you why
Tinkerbell
A hollow shell
Find me captain hooks hell
Mr Smee
Find me please
I'm hiding here in pixie hollow
Finding peace without the sorrow
The mermaids tried to drown me
Peter Pan tried to save me
But you can't save a sinking ship
The Jolly Roger on a dip
The Indians fighting them
Never land comes to end
Wendy has grown up
John went off to college
Michael is a drug addict
And Peter is a saddist.
Say goodbye to neverland
As Captain Hook gets his wish
And Peter dies,
Drowned like a fish.
Jul 12, 2017
Jul 12, 2017 at 12:31 PM UTC
I never loved you I loved the attention
To break your heart is my only intention
You smile you laugh you try to talk
But time is just getting closer for me to walk
You say nice things and such sweet lies
But your mouth is rotten and filled with flies
Your lips are soft and sweet
But filled with poisonous deceit
I'm you're Cinderella can't you see?
It's always been me
But your eyes only see pigs
Not the flower amongst the figs
You're peculiar
A new allure
You find your jaw impeccable
But your character: dependable
Your heart is your affliction
With it comes your eviction
You plead to Him to let you stay
You promise you won't walk away
A second chance
Another glance
You see your fathers hand
A marching band
A white beach sand
You gain a new stance
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who's the fairest of them all
The one who carries Him in his heart
Can lead a life with a fresh start
Jul 11, 2017
Jul 11, 2017 at 6:09 PM UTC
And my mind was a dark cloud of thoughts
Hanging over all the things I have fought
It likes to rule my days
And rue my nights
My head is like a maze
It's afraid of heights
But it keeps climbing
And no one keeps up
It's just the timing
I need to grow up
They told me to pick my battles
But my heart it shakes and rattles
And the butterflies want to burst
But my body would die first
So I'd take a rocket into space
To give you all a bit of grace
But I'm chocking on my existence
And all I know is resistance
So I fall and I try to get up again
And I'm fighting the same fight in my brain
Again
And again
And again and again
Turn it off. Like a switch.
Take my pain. Son of a *****
My mind is conspiring against me.
It's trying to prevent and arrest me.
My heart was on full and now it's empty
My head was a paradise turned against me.
I hate the nights I just can't remember why I make these mistakes.
Because all it ever did was cause heartbreak.
Please just make it stop.
Jul 11, 2017
Jul 11, 2017 at 12:36 PM UTC