FayAlittle - Hello Poetry

I'm drunk staring at your picture like I can hear you calling my name telling me it's time for bed.

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Jul 18, 2019

Jul 18, 2019 at 10:15 PM UTC

Still Pictures.

I'm drunk staring at your picture like I can hear you calling my name telling me it's time for bed.

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Today the head from my Buddha broke off And I realized We'll never find peace after a hard fall.

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Nov 14, 2018

Nov 14, 2018 at 3:21 PM UTC

The Unintended Truth

Today the head from my Buddha broke off And I realized We'll never find peace after a hard fall.

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Sometimes I crave to write just to feel my keyboard brush against my fingertips I agree with their word of choice with the press of a comma A small betrayal when they rewrite our secrets But I crave that deep ache that turns my bones brittle That heartbreak plea for more when the space bar sings "No more," My tongue pleas But the stories are tangling around my body like a noose the stitches in my skin are reopening with the press of a button and at last, I feel free. _____________________________ "What have you done." Pressing save with a confidence the tongue will always lack. "Something you should've."

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Nov 14, 2018

Nov 14, 2018 at 3:12 PM UTC

Amateur.

Sometimes I crave to write just to feel my keyboard brush against my fingertips I agree with their word of choice with the press of a comma A small betrayal when they rewrite our secrets But I crave that deep ache that turns my bones brittle That heartbreak plea for more when the space bar sings "No more," My tongue pleas But the stories are tangling around my body like a noose the stitches in my skin are reopening with the press of a button and at last, I feel free. _____________________________ "What have you done." Pressing save with a confidence the tongue will always lack. "Something you should've."

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I want to wake up in the morning and have it gone. I want to wake up slip my clothes on without feeling your hands tangled around me Brush my hair without having to swat away the prints pressuring around my hips If I could I'll burn this vessel Give me a lobotomy I'm ready to risk it all for it to be gone. I dream about what my world would be like if it never happened. If your midnight hovering never came. If the shame never quaked my legs and suffocated my peace. But still every night I go to bed with wishful thoughts hopeful that it'll be gone in the morning and wake up in disappointment when the feeling returns

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Nov 14, 2018

Nov 14, 2018 at 2:29 PM UTC

Wishful Thinking

I want to wake up in the morning and have it gone. I want to wake up slip my clothes on without feeling your hands tangled around me Brush my hair without having to swat away the prints pressuring around my hips If I could I'll burn this vessel Give me a lobotomy I'm ready to risk it all for it to be gone. I dream about what my world would be like if it never happened. If your midnight hovering never came. If the shame never quaked my legs and suffocated my peace. But still every night I go to bed with wishful thoughts hopeful that it'll be gone in the morning and wake up in disappointment when the feeling returns

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There's a tightness in my chest as I gasp for air Hugging my frame I wonder how these thoughts began. How had my mind betrayed me so bitterly. I feel as if somedays my vessel leaves me tied in bed in the morning, bringing me the stories of today when it returns tonight. ________________________________________________ "Did I smile today?" She smirks, running her hand through my stale hair. "Yes," She whispers, slipping into the cold covers. "Everyone believed it." I hug her close despite the emptiness she brings me; trying to remember what it was like before she came.

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Nov 2, 2018

Nov 2, 2018 at 11:48 PM UTC

Hugging The Enemy

There's a tightness in my chest as I gasp for air Hugging my frame I wonder how these thoughts began. How had my mind betrayed me so bitterly. I feel as if somedays my vessel leaves me tied in bed in the morning, bringing me the stories of today when it returns tonight. ________________________________________________ "Did I smile today?" She smirks, running her hand through my stale hair. "Yes," She whispers, slipping into the cold covers. "Everyone believed it." I hug her close despite the emptiness she brings me; trying to remember what it was like before she came.

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I can't see your face through the dark room only the glow from the tv shows your true outline Like a coward, I keep still Too scared to awaken and scream for help I toss and turn hoping you'll leave I was a child Innocent Why didn't you come forward when I woke and cried in my mother's arms Were you ashamed then Did you feel instant regret Would you take it back Lie to me and tell you will Make it go away Redeem me Burn a hole in my memories until I feel my childhood pure Leave me pure Please, just tell me who you are Just let me put a face to the nightmare that haunts me every time I close my eyes Do you not owe me that at least Can I just have my peace of mind and hurt you Like you hurt me Let me traumatize you the same way my bones feels your presence creep up on me The shudder I feel flow through my legs and spine makes me freeze and remember What I wish to forget Let you live with the guilt that eats at my soul.

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Oct 23, 2018

Oct 23, 2018 at 5:37 PM UTC

The Coward.

I can't see your face through the dark room only the glow from the tv shows your true outline Like a coward, I keep still Too scared to awaken and scream for help I toss and turn hoping you'll leave I was a child Innocent Why didn't you come forward when I woke and cried in my mother's arms Were you ashamed then Did you feel instant regret Would you take it back Lie to me and tell you will Make it go away Redeem me Burn a hole in my memories until I feel my childhood pure Leave me pure Please, just tell me who you are Just let me put a face to the nightmare that haunts me every time I close my eyes Do you not owe me that at least Can I just have my peace of mind and hurt you Like you hurt me Let me traumatize you the same way my bones feels your presence creep up on me The shudder I feel flow through my legs and spine makes me freeze and remember What I wish to forget Let you live with the guilt that eats at my soul.

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One. Two. Three. Four. I see my flaws at the door You're shaking their hands and letting them in. I sit so close - skin to skin while you discuss my chopped hair and tarnished skin Blandly discussing how you want me thin. Five. Six. I blame the mirror for making me like this. Counting the marks that don't look so beautiful - don't shine or sparkle. Fighting the tears and biting my lip I look at you with reassuring eyes. Seven. Eight. Nine. I don't think you ever wanted to be mine. Ten.

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Oct 16, 2018

Oct 16, 2018 at 1:32 PM UTC

Sitting and Counting

One. Two. Three. Four. I see my flaws at the door You're shaking their hands and letting them in. I sit so close - skin to skin while you discuss my chopped hair and tarnished skin Blandly discussing how you want me thin. Five. Six. I blame the mirror for making me like this. Counting the marks that don't look so beautiful - don't shine or sparkle. Fighting the tears and biting my lip I look at you with reassuring eyes. Seven. Eight. Nine. I don't think you ever wanted to be mine. Ten.

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There's a place I wish I knew, a place I sometimes crave, not to run away or hide But to stay. I don't know where what or who this place is but I picture it to have my innocence, my confidence, and youth. Something I feel I lost long ago. I imagine it to be as warm as spring in mid-day with the fragrance of a childhood smiles, grass stains, the damp of dirt from the rain while a projector plays my best memories on the big screen. You know the ones we forget. I want to go there because lately, I don't want to be here. I can blame it on the cold mornings or the lecture notes pending in my laptop. I can say I'm tired of molding every inch of me into the couch or I'm sore from breaking every part of me, and you'll blame it on something childish, ask me what I want - what I want to do - where I want to go. And my mind will echo with this place I don't know.

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Oct 16, 2018

Oct 16, 2018 at 12:50 PM UTC

Do You Know

There's a place I wish I knew, a place I sometimes crave, not to run away or hide But to stay. I don't know where what or who this place is but I picture it to have my innocence, my confidence, and youth. Something I feel I lost long ago. I imagine it to be as warm as spring in mid-day with the fragrance of a childhood smiles, grass stains, the damp of dirt from the rain while a projector plays my best memories on the big screen. You know the ones we forget. I want to go there because lately, I don't want to be here. I can blame it on the cold mornings or the lecture notes pending in my laptop. I can say I'm tired of molding every inch of me into the couch or I'm sore from breaking every part of me, and you'll blame it on something childish, ask me what I want - what I want to do - where I want to go. And my mind will echo with this place I don't know.

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