You would think by now I would have known better
And I do, but it doesn’t even matter
*** even if I know I can’t do anything about it
I keep doing self-harming things afraid to admit
I am sick, just another lunatic
I need some help but I am afraid to ask
I wish life would cut me some slack
But it won’t life is a *****
Life would slit your throat and throw you into a ditch
That’s not something special against me
Other people are just better at being carefree
I worry about everything so much, I became thick-skinned
To the point where I just ignore my self-harm, I might as well be skinned
And I wanna give up, I wanna get better but I don’t know-how
Maybe it’s time to take the last bow
Or maybe I should try another vow
But I took so many I don’t even remember, you reap what you sow
My own brain can’t even take itself seriously anymore
How do I continue living when I have zero on the scoreboard
I am twenty-two, and I am already behind by a hundred points
If I manage to pull through
It would be the greatest underdog story that god ever drew
Oh don’t let me get started on god
I have enough problems to write about without playing that card
I think I am just done
I can’t even win a one on one against no one
But I still got time on the clock
Lucky for me I hate to give up
And I won’t let people mock
Mock the guy who was the runner up
When the winner was no one
Feb 19, 2020
Feb 19, 2020 at 4:02 AM UTC
I always found the idea a bit dumb
But after experiencing it myself
I can say my heart is beating like a drum
We both knew we have to stop ourself
But now that we did
It’s hard to get rid
Of the unknown feelings I have inside
I am not saying we should have tried
What we did was probably right
But nothing is black and white
I am not trying to get you back
Just trying to understand oneself
To let my mind show me a small crack
So I can get to know myself
Anyway I just wanted to say
I hope we won’t fade away
Nov 8, 2015
Nov 8, 2015 at 9:12 AM UTC
I feel like this world, doesn’t like me
I feel like this world, doesn’t want me
I feel like I’m different, I feel like I don’t fit
This world doesn’t accept me, for who I am
But I aint gonna change
I will force myself on the world
And make it adept to me
Because I aint gonna change
People tell me,
Only crazy people don’t change
So I guess I’m crazy, I guess I’m weird
This world aint fair but I want it to be
So I aint gonna change
I refuse to change,
I refuse to let the world win
I will die a suffering death, before I let the world -change me
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 10:56 AM UTC
The more I learn, the less I know
The more I think about it, I just become more con-fused
But I don’t care
I will keep on going I will keep on trying
I feel like I'm split, I feel like my brain doesn’t know what to do anymore
Yet I'm determent to keep on going,
Even though I don’t know what direction I should go
I take a step right take two to the left and then one more to the right.
I guess I'm afraid to take a chance, to walk without looking back
I say it’s a lie I say it’s a choice but it’s just me being scared for my life
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 1:34 PM UTC
I wish i could just take the sadness out of, you
If i could i would destroy the things that -hurt you
When I think about you, I get this déjà vu
Me and you we are the same
Me and you we are so different
I feel like life is pulling us apart
I try to think with my heart, but I’m just not smart enough
So many people gave up, on me
And even though I’m one of them
I won’t give up on you, all I wanna do is get through to you
I promise I will be there for you
And I'm sorry that that’s all I can do
I wish I could just take the sadness out of, you
If I could I would destroy the things that -hurt you
I would fight a dragon for you
There is not a thing that I wouldn’t do
To take the sadness out of you
Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 at 9:15 AM UTC
When I met you, I pushed you away
And I thought that like the rest of them you would stay there
But you came in knocking, refused to go away
I brook down and I poured my heart to you
Then I went back to my ways
And tried to push you again
But you were still there, upset that I swear
You came in when I was vulnerable, my walls were down
All I could think about is how to get out
I was the king. The king of no one, but you took my crown
I don’t know how you did it and I don’t know why
But somehow you became someone I could trust
I tried to act like a tough guy but I was scared inside
You are the first one the first one in ages that didn’t give up
But I wish I could have done something for you
I wish I could return the favor even by a bit
What you did for me might sound simple for you
But it meant the world for me… it meant the world for me
Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 at 9:14 AM UTC