Oh I remember having dreams
That spark in my chest
Giving me hope
A warm light and fire
Feels and depth
But now
That spark died out
And all that is left are ashes
Scraped off by my sharp fingernails
And washed away by the cool night breeze
Craving a hole
In the place where my soul danced around the warm light
She's laying still now
As if held down
In the hollow black space
Tears dry on her face
Eyes tired of trying
Choking on whatever is left to feel
While I can't find one reason
Not to say my goodbyes
Or say nothing at all
Please don't let me feel.
Jul 6, 2019
Jul 6, 2019 at 7:41 PM UTC
I feel that sharp, painful, bitter feeling crippling through my blood and bones
Sending shivers down my spine
Something missing from my heart
Longing
Brain disconnecting from reality
Chocking on my own thoughts and memories
Deep sadness
Regret
Shifts
The sweetness
The laughs
The fun
Learning and experiencing
All those special places
And faces
The disrespect
The chaos
The betrayals and discomforts
Unforgettable things
Moments gone in time
A big mash of feelings; good and bad; and happy and sad.
Empty closets
Furniture disappearing by the day
Memories and accessories packed away in a hurry
Oblivion
Home is nowhere to be found.
A sorrowful goodbye.
And in all that mess I've managed to let him step on what was left of my dignity and use my fragile feelings.
And I will never get to say what I needed to.
Apr 21, 2019
Apr 21, 2019 at 1:03 PM UTC
Am I even human if I don't want relationships ?
Any kind. Not only romantic ones.
I just can't deal with people
And with myself but also really some people, most people just mess me up
So much
What the hell
Apr 19, 2019
Apr 19, 2019 at 1:00 PM UTC
Social media
Controls your life;
It tells you how your hair should smell
And your skin should glow
Have long hair
No.. short
Pluck those eyebrows off
Oh wait now grow them back
If you don't have the right nose and lips
Well, you're ******
Everybody should starve themselves
Who can be the thinnest
Only then you'll be beautiful
Oh, never mind
Now we like curvy girls
But you better get the proportions right or
You'll just be fat
And fat
That's unacceptable
As well as having any different colour of skin or a uniquely functioning mind
Enough to be lower than others
Out casted
Made fun of
Rejected
Wear what everybody else is wearing
We don't care for the price
But stand out
And do you
And be yourself
Just be happy.
But how
I ask how can we be happy when we're put into such impossible standards
When we're labeled
When what we have to offer is never good enough
When we feel judged everyday
And by whom?
Who's created this social media controlled society if not us
Every single one of us
You and me
So
All I'm really here to say is
You are beautiful.
Each of us is made differently in such an exquisite way
And that's what really matters
The uniqueness of each person's nature, appearance and story
The messiness and diversity of life is what makes it so alluring and magnificent ✨
Let's embrace our differences and learn to love the beautiful imperfect
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 1:53 PM UTC
As breath I took
upon field of daffodils
my soul a-bloomed.
expanding into
a heartbeat tune.
Rhythms exploded in chest
in moment, in air
as footsteps
made way for memories.
Time melted away
as self gave way
to a new consciousness
as season purged the last
making way for Spring.
Glory be I to awaken
and anchor on Gia’s soil.
The place where my essence
flowers in harmony.
Apr 8, 2019
Apr 8, 2019 at 5:25 PM UTC
Petrified
Lost in my own emotions
Where am I going
Where's my path
My senses are gone
They've been swallowed up by my loud mind
No air
No space to breathe
I feel trapped
Yet I'm free to make choices
Unguided
Alone with my cold, dark thoughts
Apr 8, 2019
Apr 8, 2019 at 5:21 PM UTC
Fan spinning
On repeat
Numb limbs
Slow breathes
Body heavily stuck on an old sheet
Windows shut
Days go by without a purpose
Tired legs walk aimlessly
To go and feed the anxiety away
End up making it stronger
Chewing; sleeping; staring
Ghosting
Empty
On repeat
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 3:43 PM UTC
And so they think;
Oh she became weird
Haven't been going out at all
Never see her anywhere anymore
Distant and quiet
What's wrong with her
We didn't do anything to her
Why isn't she texting
We won't though
Eh whatever we have plenty of other people to hang out with
Pity
She used to be cool
When she acted according to our standards
And met with our plans and schedules
What about
Is everything ok?
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 3:21 PM UTC
1. Accept your past so it does not ruin your future.
2. what other people think of you is none of your business.
3. Time heals almost everything, so give time time.
4. Only you are in charge of your won happiness.
5. Do not compare yourself to others, you do not know their path in life.
6. Stop thinking too much, it's fine not knowing all the answers.
7. Smile. You're not in charge of all the problems in the world.
Jan 19, 2019
Jan 19, 2019 at 1:31 PM UTC
Its so crazy how different cultures are from each other but still you can find things that are similar. And adapting to a new place or environment like different comforts discomforts and conditions you have to get used to
Clothes and languages and hand movements and head movements ****** expressions food
So like this whole concept of countries and flying and how FAR everything is and how expensive and how there are so many people I miss but like they're so far away like there's always someone far away from me that I miss and just like trying to figure out where would be a good place for me and how to get there and ******* money.. GIVES ME SO MUCH ANXIETY
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 4:08 PM UTC