Quicksand
That's the best way to describe what my mind is in
Quicksand
It's like a swirl of Negative thoughts become the all consuming sand
And it's dragging me into the abyss
I can't escape.
Escape from the pull
From sinking
From falling
From despair
I try to climb out
I try to wipe the negative thoughts away
I try to see the positive
but every time I sink lower
lower into the sand
more into the negativity
more into the doubts
more into the despair
Why can't I escape?
Why can't I save myself?
Why can't I leave!?
I will continue to sink here in the sand
The sand that is my doubts
The sand that is my fears
The sand that is my despair.
The sand that is what I hate about myself
But I will survive
I will face this sand.
I will conquer my fears
My doubts
My hatred
My despair
I will climb out of this sand with a rope made from my love
My hope
My dreams
My Aspirations
My Convictions and my Resolve
I may Sink into the quicksand that is my thoughts
But I always
Always
Find my way back up.
Curtis ‘Sillo’ Jones
© Courteous Silhouette 2017
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 19, 2017 at 10:28 PM UTC
Sleep well young child
Let the weary's of the day slip away.
Sleep well young child
Please Do Not be Afraid.
Sleep well young child
There is no need to fear
Sleep well young child
The nightmares will soon disappear
Sleep well young child
You will soon have pleasant dreams
Sleep well young child
I will protect you from bad dreams.
Sleep well young child
Become who you can dream yourself to be
Sleep well young child
Travel to the wonders as far as the eyes can see.
Sleep well young child
Rest and drift your worries away
Sleep well young child
I wish you good night and wish you fortune on the new day!
Nov 18, 2017
Nov 18, 2017 at 5:40 AM UTC
Hello
Can anyone hear me?
Can anyone see me??
Do you even know I exist!?
Hello
Why can't no one hear me?
Am I invincible?
Am I a ghost!?
Hello
Where is everyone!?
Why am I all alone!?
WHY WON'T NO ONE NOTICE ME!?
Hello
This is my Final Message
This is my final cry
This is my final Breath
This is my last Hello
Goodbye
Nov 18, 2017
Nov 18, 2017 at 5:38 AM UTC
Who are we to judge for our biggest faults lie in our reflections?
When is it right to criticize if we are but imperfections in the light?
Can we cast a stone, when our fortress is made of glass?
Can we speak ill of outer evil when sometimes the worst evil is within?
How can call thus impure when we exhibit no purities within ourselves?
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 3:23 PM UTC
While my I eyes are dry when I am awake
My tears roll down when I dream.
I cry in my dream.
Tears of Joy
Tears of Sorrow
Tears of Anger
Fear
Worry
Anxiety
In my dreams I cry these tears.
Yet my eyes are dry when I am awake.
Why?
Why do I only cry in my dreams?
Why can't I cry awake?
Have I used my tears in my dreams?
Have I taught myself not to cry only to shed tears in my dreams?
Why am I stuck between the desert of my reality and the puddle of my dreams?
Why?
Have my tears run dry?
Have I simply unlearned to cry by teaching myself to be strong?
Then why do I cry in my dreams?
The answers I will forever seek
The answers I will never know
Until then...
I will continue to Shed Tears in my dreams
Until then...
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 3:19 PM UTC
In Front of This Crowd
This is it.
I’m up
Here I go in front of this crowd
As I'm prepared to pull the best performance of my life and distract myself from the fact that my lunch is about to leave my stomach!
Wait…
Did… My stomach just rumble?
Did my… mic just catch that??
Great…
Not my best first impression....
I try to recover as quickly and swiftly and smoothly as possible
But I'm back to fumbling and stuttering and I drop… my… notebook.
GREAT!
I sneak a peek at the crowd and I see some snickering.
Some impatient stares, half of them even mixed with anger.
Some gave a sympathetic nod to continue
I stammer a quick apology and continue introductions
All the while thinking “This is just the introduction…”
As I clear my throat some more, I hear a couple of hecklers boo me.
I even hear one say “Either get on with it or GET OFF THE STAGE!”
Another member of the crowd shushes the heckler, “Give him a chance! You might upset him!”
But it was too late.
I'm not sure what clicked within me, but something ignited within me.
Something that makes me want to prove the hecklers wrong.
No. To shut them up!
Next thing I knew?
I close my eyes,
Took a breath
Looked at my notebook
And spoke.
And I continued to speak and read aloud the scribbles in my notebook that only I understand.
Words that slip out of my mouth like a thief in the night!
Suddenly, the crowd wasn't there anymore
It was just me
Me and my reflection
The same reflection who is my biggest fan and my biggest critic.
The same reflection whom I practiced with day and night.
Yes, that same reflection that I stare into since as far as I remember!
Yes. That reflection, whom I nodded to in confidence and who nods back as to say “you got this.”
And the words continue to spill
The crowd suddenly filled with ooh’s and aah’s.
I’m back on earth
Back In front of this crowd
But I continue to speak
Speak with hurt, heartache, joy, pain, laughter, tears, inspirations and frustrations that has been haunting me my whole life
I continue to speak
Despite the fact I'm nervous
I continue to speak.
Despite the fact that there are butterflies bumping uglies in my stomach. (Which, by the way, I would highly appreciate if they stop that.)
I continue to speak!
I continue to speak for the most painful, grueling,agonizing, longest 3 minutes of my life!
And then I'm finished.
I finish speaking as I take a leek back to the crowd
Some speechless.
Some have their mouths wide open in awe
Some are even smiling.
And then the crowd applause
I stare in awe of what just happened.
What I just done in front of this crowd.
And then I snap out of it
And quickly blurt out
“Thank you! Be sure to follow me on Instagram at writingsilhouette! That’s W R I T I N G S I L H O U E T T E at instagram! BYE!”
By: Curtis “Sillo” Jones
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 3:17 PM UTC
I am a Silhouette
Yet today, I am Shining
The tearless tears I cry are now Tears of Joy
I laugh more than I ever had
The dark days are far from behind me
But I no longer fret and buckle under the stress.
I now embrace both the dark and the light.
Those who casted the first stone now sees I am in the position
To have the last laugh
Yet I have since forgiven them
I am a Silhouette
Still I have no shadow
But I now know despite that I can laugh
Cry
Smile
Frown
I am a Silhouette
And today I am Shining.
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 3:15 PM UTC
I am a silhouette
I have no shadow
My face has no description
One only sees the blackness of my body
I have no tears, yet I cry
I have no smile, yet I laugh
I have no skin, yet I feel
So, how come I have no shadow
How can you call me emotionless
Am I not to have feelings because you can't
see my face
Am I a puppet because you see no soul
Am I worthy to suffer because you feel that
a shadow bears no soul
If you were a silhouette would you feel the
same
Would you still cast the first stone
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 3:06 PM UTC