Watching everyone ignore me.
Watching everyone stop
Caring.
Watching everyone move on.
Watching everyone stop
Loving.
Watching them all leave
Me in the dust
Nowhere to lead.
Watching them stop
Talking to me
And just walk by
Not noticing not caring.
But when I say I'm fine
That's when they start caring
They don't leave me
They don't let me break.
Stop!!
Leave me the **** alone!!
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 2:07 PM UTC
I thought I grew out of this
Thought I changed
Thought I got through all the harsh pain
But really I got worse
My self esteem is
Gone
I got worse
My worth has
Vanished
I am not loved
I am only judged
For who I am
For who I will forever be.
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 1:43 PM UTC
I give up
This is all ****** up
This will never get better
Nothing ever gets better.
Mar 16, 2019
Mar 16, 2019 at 7:46 PM UTC
He doesn't respond!!!
He said he's sorry
I am too
But I dont want him
To **** himself
Too
What have I done!
I caused all this
I had to love Gabe.
I had no choice
Nik is jealous
And he's trying to blackmail me.
Help!!
Nik is hurting after his last
Breakup.
He isn't the same.
And Gabe wasn't the kindest.
Nik is mad
Nik wants to hurt Gabe.
But I love him.
I would
Never
Ever
Hurt Gabriel
For a friend's sake.
Even if it hurts me
Makes me panic
Makes me cry
Makes me want to die.
I'm very sorry.
I'm very sorry!!
Don't do anything rash.
Plz.
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 6:24 PM UTC
Just scratched at the scars
Broke my promise to myself.
Wanting to die more than ever.
Wanting to hurt more than ever.
Feeling worthless
And that I am overlooked.
That no one cares
That no one notices me shaking
And crying.
Panicking all over again
Stuck in a constant cycle
Of hurting
Then depression
Then hospitalization.
I'm so scared
Of myself
I want to stop
But I don't feel like I have the strength
To keep pushing through
Anymore.
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 8:57 PM UTC
Scratching at the scars
Bleeding through my shirt
Boyfriend noticing.
Noticing I'm never "fine"
Noticing I'm hurting
Noticing I'm not normal
And I never was
And I never will be.
I always respond with
"Great. I'm doing great"
But in my head I wish to say
" hurting I'm just hurting inside."
But it just never comes out.
I can never admit I'm not doing "fine".
Why is the world cursing me??
Always making me work to be happy
For a minute.
After that minute passes
I am dropping down the hole
In my heart.
The one that used to be filled by
Happiness.
Happiness evaporated
Forever lurking
Just beyond reach
My fingers can never grasp it.
My fingers can never hold on
They always slip through
And the happiness leaves me
Like I never deserved it.
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 5:21 PM UTC