Im stepping in the room,
Now its just me and you.
My heart is black and blue.
Because im lost,
And i was avoiding you at any cost.
Although there is no reason for my behavior,
And i understand if your thinking, why save her.
She isnt true to her word,
Disapointed me again and again.
Do i really want to put up with,
Your lies and heavy bag of pain
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 10:01 AM UTC
I hate returning to that,
Dark corner in my heart.
There is so much so say,
And I don't know where to start.
All the issues I have,
Is beginning with me.
Issues I never wanted,
The worlds to see.
I've done a great job,
Hiding them perfectly.
The more I write,
The truth comes out forcefully.
I swear i never wanted to be the girl who.
Cripples myself in jealousy,
Always watching them before me.
I know its wrong,
But i cant help envy quietly.
I cant be happy for your blessing,
Because I'm comparing myself and it gets depressing.
That's only the top layer of my truth,
I let hate grab me of my youth.
The deeper secret is I had hate in my heart,
Everything around me was falling apart.
I put the blame on everything else except me.
But the real reason is me.
A lesson I had to learn,
Is people's love and respect is something i had to earn.
How was I could I expect people to be on my level,
When I was walking so close to the devil.
The desperate need for attention,
Was causing the constant rejection.
I had to realize I'll always be misunderstood,
I will always be judged and that's something that needed to be understood.
Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 5:34 PM UTC
So Im 30 now,
Am I gonna finally feel what it takes to be loved.
I've had seriously bad luck,
And 99 percent of the time I have no luck.
That one percent is dying hope this will be something.
Or the conclusion,
Settling is my worth.
They say you're only ugly if you believe you are.
Then I must have a repellent.
I get asked,
When Im bringing someone home,
A lie is better than saying,
It will never happen.
Im not waiting,
Matter fact what the hell am I waiting for.
All my first are dreams,
Experiences through dreams.
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 3:08 PM UTC
Your word feed my depression causing its voice to be louder,
Making sure everything you said takes my happiness and happily devour.
I’m worthless, waste of space and ill mount to nothing,
Is only the few things you said that felt like a knife on my skin cutting.
The amount of times you said those things to me,
I started to think why me.
I was never happy being your easy target,
I’m not stupid lazy nor am I ********
Tears have been wasted on your words.
I couldn’t tell anyone,
Why?
Because they will tell me,
He’s only making fun.
Don’t take him on.
I no longer going to allow you to feed my depression,
Staying away from you has been the best decision.
That also meant leaving certain people behind,
Since they want to be blind.
I finally see the people I used to hang around from a different lens,
I now know what kind of people to not call my friends.
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 25, 2018 at 11:27 AM UTC
I started to think about life without you,
And to be honest it would be a dream come true.
Because all you bring me is toxic and headache.
I started to see the true meaning of fake.
Whenever people around I suddenly become a nobody.
Ive given to many chances I should have stopped at three.
Now Im saying goodbye,
The last straw helped me to clarify.
Where I stand in your life,
I healed from the wound you cut my back with a knife.
Living in your shadow,
People believed I lived my life according to you.
I lost my identity when they can't ask about me without bringing up you.
To feed your ego I was the girl you always had to outdo.
Jan 9, 2018
Jan 9, 2018 at 11:25 PM UTC
My faith disappeared like a thief in the night.
I tried to hold on but I have no more fight.
I want to believe that ill be alright,
But I'm stuck behind this broken red light.
I haven't cried so my tears aren't recorded,
But that doesn't mean in not broken hearted.
I know things could be worse,
But Im no competition with others to see who got it worse.
My heart truly breaks for anyone going through hard times.
But the pain I feel the most is mines.
I haven't cried so my tears aren't recorded,
But that doesn't mean in not broken hearted.
There is no way to tell how Im feeling without sound like Im complaining.
But the amount out rejections I acumilate is draining.
I might as well change my name to reject.
Because everything I touch isn't correct.
Dec 26, 2017
Dec 26, 2017 at 2:52 PM UTC
I feel in love with a lie,
He became my perfect guy.
We talked all night,
Until daylight.
He did and said everything right,
Even through our fights.
I took a flight to cloud nine,
That's when I missed all the signs.
I wanted to be his,
But he never wanted to be mine. My heart turned ice cold,
When his true motive unfold.
Dec 23, 2017
Dec 23, 2017 at 9:45 AM UTC
There isn't a person,
I can call.
Scrolling down my contacts,
This lonely pain worsen.
There is something,
Wrong with me.
When they look at me,
What do they see.
If I could only know why,
What makes people leave me with no goodbye.
Lonely is my reality,
That Im living.
I don't go on social media,
Because I suddenly get,
A bad case of schizophrenia.
Its the perfect pill to make me,
Hate myself.
So I deleted it,
To sober myself.
If it wasnt for music,
Ill probably die,
Liquor is my favorite high.
To mask my lonely,
I let the cognac numb me.
After three glasses,
Im feeling happy.
Hidden from my lonely.
Nov 5, 2017
Nov 5, 2017 at 8:28 AM UTC
I hurt so much,
Not even the burn from whiskey makes me flinch.
Oct 31, 2017
Oct 31, 2017 at 2:46 PM UTC
Lonliness is food to my depression,
Having the perfect meal,
To fulfill its obsession.
Eating away my heart,
Pulling my nerves so I fall apart.
Oct 26, 2017
Oct 26, 2017 at 9:07 AM UTC