The ballot or the bullet
The bottle or the ****
Cheer for your team if it's what you prefer
Nothing's all that matters for long
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 18, 2017 at 3:34 AM UTC
You asked me to give you space,
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to stop reminding you,
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to give you privacy,
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to always be positive,
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
I asked you to show me affection,
You told me you're not that kind of man.
I told you I did it for us,
I told you I have anxiety,
I told you I have depression,
I told you I love you more than anything.
You told me I did it to myself.
You told me I make things up,
You told me to stop bringing you down,
You told me I make you hate your life.
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
Please don't leave me.
You stayed.
I'm scared to ask why?
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 4:29 PM UTC
There's a silence between us
unspoken of
a void,
if I dare say.
There are times
we may be close
but we are more unknown
to each other
than we really think.
Friend,
why are you so distant?
I understand
that you understand
that people come and go
But
why push me away?
I want to say
that it's okay
for longer
I want to stay.
I understand
that you're use to losing people
and you're no longer afraid
should I leave you.
True,
I do not know what goes on
in the depths of your mind
in the abyss of this great sea.
I do not know
the battles you've faced
the demons you have fought
the nightmares that choke
the reality out of you.
I may not know
what it feels like
to have severe anxiety,
to have panic attacks every once in a while,
to have social problems,
the list will go on...
I may not know everything about you
But I know this:
you are the most honest person
I have ever met.
And this honesty,
honestly, I must say,
It is bittersweet.
Truth be told,
I may not like everything you say
But I accept it.
Because,
What is truth if it doesn't hurt?
I don't know
why you are silent.
Maybe you figured,
without me
or anybody for that matter
that you'll be strong.
Don't get me wrong,
I know you are strong.
But you are also wrong
about one thing.
You may think I will leave you
Maybe, but still
not immediately
not yet.
I will keep waiting
right here, if you need a friend.
If time should separate us,
or you push me away and grow cold,
I'll still be here.
I'll still be
your friend.
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 4:28 PM UTC
There is this split moment
When you realize
Something that
Everyone else has known
For the first time
A crack in reality
White noise in the dark truth
Its like your eyes are suddenly opened
And the lights are stinging bright
Everything you thought was true
Was
Not
You hear the walls all come crumbling down
Am I losing you?
Did I ever have you in the first place?
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 4:27 PM UTC
I found comfort in your arms.
I found security in your hands.
I found love in your eyes.
I found kindness in your heart.
I found intelligence in your words.
I found adventure in your mind.
I found persistence
I found relief
I found fun
I found sweetness
Softness
Motivation
Creativity
Wonder
Compassion
Thoughtfulness
You found the bottom of the bottle
over
and
over
and all was lost
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 15, 2017 at 11:48 PM UTC
You couldn't handle my need for order
for safety
for security
so I went with you, into your chaotic world
I was scared, but I trusted you.
You said you would be by my side
We would be together
Happy
Again.
but once I was out of my element
you dissipated into the noise
and
left
me
stuck
You said you would be back
and that I'll be safe
I haven't had a thought to myself without the noise of the world
The humming the the buzzing the the the YELLING
But I waited for you to return for good
I waited for you
I waited
I waited for so long.
You wouldn't stick around, but left me with empty promises of it
Every time I want to go back, you show your face again
and
give
me
hope
Hope that you would return for good so I'll feel safe, again.
I'm sorry dear, but it got too much.
You can keep your chaos, if that's what makes you happy
but I still don't feel safe
and I still hear the noise
and I still have hope
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 15, 2017 at 11:34 PM UTC
you don't deserve a word
not even a poem
how does it feel
when you lost the people
you confessed you "love"
how did it feel
when your own medicine
ran through your throat?
how does it feel
to steal so much time
from someone who treasured it?
holding it close to her chest
against her rib cage
how does it feel
to steal something you don't own
from a family you "care" for
and how does it feel?
to see someone who loves me
better than you do
because you thought
no one could ever love me like you
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 3:28 PM UTC
I helped you
You told me you're here too
I don't help for personal gain but
I'm hurting.
I'm hurting.
Please return the favor.
Please stop telling me to not be selfish.
All I asked was for some help.
I've listened to you talk about what's ailing you
I've helped you through it
You promised!
You promised you would be there for me!
But now that it's not about you, you don't care
You give me half hearted advice and change the subject to yourself
How you're hurting more, or how I'm too weak because you're hurting more and you're better than me
so I put my pain aside so you'll feel better for awhile
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 3:22 AM UTC
Drunken tears with lonely fears have felled upon my shoulder
I give you the means, the knowledge, the support to prevent the weekly trend
Yet it always comes down to you wanting to molder
Which is actually funny, in a not so funny way
You want to break the mold
You want to be known as bold
You figure you'll be young forever
Nothing will catch up
Until you're fitting another mold, one you didn't expect
Before you break the societal mold,
you have to break your own
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 12:33 AM UTC
You compared yourself to a bird and me a cage
I hold you back
"Don't leave, don't leave
You need not be free
I don't want to risk losing you
So stay here, please sing with me"
except
You are not a bird, and I am not a cage
I was your blanket on a cold night
I was the cast on your broken leg
I was the home cooked meal after months away from home
Just because I limited, held you back, because
I put the cork in your wine bottle after a glass too many
After days of intoxication
I asked you to consider kindness when you wanted vengeance
After a brief altercation
I pushed you to rest after days and days of exhaustion
After you snapped with agitation
I pull you away from self destruction, quiet enemies that bring corruption
You don't want care, you want an accomplice.
You don't want change on your own terms
You don't want change at all
The caged bird does not sing
So what's your excuse?
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 12:05 AM UTC