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ChaoticSolace
ChaoticSolace
35/F With a unique style of writing, I find that I'm not entirely concerned with fitting into a certain mold of artistry. I have been writing poetry since the age of 15, as a healthy way to process my daily experiences & to connect with others.
Uneven Without substance, void of faith Unresolved Seeking facts among the fiction Untapped For the price seems too steep Unfavored Privilege lost that was never had This heart is blackstone, hollow within Day to day, sinking further down Useless Fake a smile of sincerity, For all the world's a stage, and we are but merely actors Or whatever Shakespeare meant. Reveal yourself, masked man Uncover the fear you bring In a cloak of anxiety and dread For these lay dormant yet dominant within this vessel From this side of the mirror, it is all you will ever see
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Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 8:54 PM UTC
Asymmetry
No more by name, an identity crisis Often lonely, left within my thoughts Time seems to be ever so motionless Happiness trapped in memories I fight myself to see the next day Needing to find my hope again Gratefully disenchanted to have opened eyes is wrong
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Jul 14, 2018
Jul 14, 2018 at 4:43 PM UTC
Masked
As you stare back at me, are you just as disgusted? Take a gander at what life decided to hand this poor soul. Do you see HER? Can you see her failure, her fears, that black-hole in her chest? It’s all there, plain as day, hidden behind her smile. Worldly impressions have waged a war within heart, She can no longer trust her eyes, nor her mind. They have lied so many times to her, You are strong, you are unique, you are the essence of beauty. **** liars Are we looking at the same woman? Her body is morphed and it is torn, it bears scars from the inside out. Misplaced skin, sagging, dragging, nothing is working. She does not need your pity, She has far beyond enough for herself. Grab the mirror and smash it You can no longer stare back and be disgusted by me
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Jul 4, 2018
Jul 4, 2018 at 3:58 PM UTC
Re-Imaged
As if walking down a dark staircase, every step forward gives way to uncertainty. Downward, tripping upon my thoughts feeling less, and less likely to feel the sunshine again. It’s the smell of decay, rotted souls, & tortured hearts smothered dreams, forgotten hopes, among all the lies. Broken hearts left in its wake, like the skulls upon Golgotha, condemned for their crimes. That darkened staircase has become damped by tears, fear as taken over, with its siren-like call into the unknown. Crashing like waves, an undertow of raw emotions, my demise now bellows from the locker below. I’ve created this fable, where the plot twist is all to real only to assume its identity in ghostly winds. Loneliness, my old friend my true undoing. Sun rises and falls, day after day, It does not change so will it ever get better with the dawn? Do the monsters I've brought to be, ever vanish into the darkness, forever? For I know I’m not alone, no matter how I feel. HE walks along side me lovingly, waiting for my less than faithful cries. Unconditional, Unconventional, Unrelenting Love No matter my feebleness, my flaws, my imperfect human form, Forever will HE make good on his promises to me.
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Jun 12, 2018
Jun 12, 2018 at 2:33 PM UTC
(Un)Deserving Child
The world looks at him, and gets lost in the confusion.   She looks at him, and she is lost in his world. Passers by stare at her unknown, unaware for the beauty within   To him, her beauty lies far beneath her freckles. Many of us can not even muster the courage to talk to one another   Let alone, hold a candle to the splendor of true honesty & compassion. Often replicated but never duplicated   but duplication is within her. Labeled for life to be a stigma,   a supposed taboo. Earthly born to be ‘weak’,   but Heaven saw fit to grant her a strong heart & even fiercer spirit. Undeserving of loyalty, for man deems her ‘broken,’   Her presence screams throughout time, “I am NOT broken!”   She was made for him. He fits to her soul like the last puzzle piece,   Vibrant, making the whole picture complete. Racing is his mind, nothing seems to calm,   until he sees her, his fiery red hair gal. Excitement is a curious creature,    It can be wonderful, when expected. Speaking can be useful, after much altering.    But he doesn’t have to change for her, She knows exactly who he is, and even more.    He knows how to woo her, from the deepest part of his heart. Very matter of fact, no filtering required   for this is a special kind of love. A love that many so often throw aside,   to glamorize a cheap imitation. Bright lights, loud stares, and quiet words   determined to shatter their dreams. Hollywood glitz & glamour films, tell of impossible tales    knowing that they themselves, long for something real. Give us a tale of how we should love,   how not to cast aside the broken. For it is our true stories, of undeserving compassion   How we are loved for everything we are, Give us a Love Story like Marissa & Billy. Please visit the link below to know more about their story: https://www.facebook.com/Marissa-Billy-a-special-needs-love-story-166422050876423
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May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 6:26 PM UTC
Love Story
The world looks at him, and gets lost in the confusion.   She looks at him, and she is lost in his world. Passers by stare at her unknown, unaware for the beauty within   To him, her beauty lies far beneath her freckles. Many of us can not even muster the courage to talk to one another   Let alone, hold a candle to the splendor of true honesty & compassion. Often replicated but never duplicated   but duplication is within her. Labeled for life to be a stigma,   a supposed taboo. Earthly born to be ‘weak’,   but Heaven saw fit to grant her a strong heart & even fiercer spirit. Undeserving of loyalty, for man deems her ‘broken,’   Her presence screams throughout time, “I am NOT broken!”   She was made for him. He fits to her soul like the last puzzle piece,   Vibrant, making the whole picture complete. Racing is his mind, nothing seems to calm,   until he sees her, his fiery red hair gal. Excitement is a curious creature,    It can be wonderful, when expected. Speaking can be useful, after much altering.    But he doesn’t have to change for her, She knows exactly who he is, and even more.    He knows how to woo her, from the deepest part of his heart. Very matter of fact, no filtering required   for this is a special kind of love. A love that many so often throw aside,   to glamorize a cheap imitation. Bright lights, loud stares, and quiet words   determined to shatter their dreams. Hollywood glitz & glamour films, tell of impossible tales    knowing that they themselves, long for something real. Give us a tale of how we should love,   how not to cast aside the broken. For it is our true stories, of undeserving compassion   How we are loved for everything we are, Give us a Love Story like Marissa & Billy. Please visit the link below to know more about their story: https://www.facebook.com/Marissa-Billy-a-special-needs-love-story-166422050876423
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41
Hang in there Things will get better It cant rain all the time Childhood did not adequately prepare me, Teenage hormones crippled my mind. A young adult so longing to haze away the pain, Faulty genetics, predestined to break. Drunken nights, blurry weeks Red pill, blue pill, 3 2 1... White bump cope Anything to keep afloat Tasting colors, raining sounds All to keep from sliding down Adulthood is a shame, a travesty I often wish I could slap 13 year old me For every time i would believe it would get better when i grew up How stupid could you be, child? You know nothing. Nothing of the pain your heart will feel Nothing of true failure Nothing of pure loneliness You bought into it all My, My… look at who has stumbled down the rabbit hole now! Your passions stifled Your ambition crushed Limp & left for dead upon the cold stones This too shall pass, Things will get better, It cant rain all the time...
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May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 5:36 PM UTC
beLIEve
When you make a wish what is your hearts’ desire? What do you tell yourself so you can survive another day? The pain is so unbearable it seems to never end Do you ever wonder why you were given this struggle? Why is this your path to endure The mind is full and blank all at once, Do you know what kind of havoc that reeks? A sharp, emptiness in your soul to relive the void that you serve no real purpose other than to occupy a space. Do you know your worth? Do you even understand what that means? This never ending cycle Wake up Serve Survive No rest Repeat Watching life from a far Standing still, in what seems like forever Glory days are not behind you Yet, they do not seem ahead of you either Forgotten Lost Scribbled off the milk carton Missing: your place in this mere existence Tears fall like flooding rains on the inside a halfhearted smile for all the world’s a stage...
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Apr 7, 2018
Apr 7, 2018 at 3:40 PM UTC
The Grand Stage
Vivid Neon Skies   Drip,       Drip,            Sliding down the pain Scratching, clawing            searching for escape Barely healing            Rarely living Corporate gowns of filth                A shallow wasteland of next level haute We cry out our blood is all red       Til the stitching becomes undone                   Hemorrhaging on the ground a Benjamin green Peace            Love                     Total Collapse Babble’s tower            Jericho’s wall                  Your Ivory towers Ruins in due time        Corrupt soil will not produce a healthy growth Fields of violets         A river’s bend                  The very breath of life Wonderfully misleading                  Genuinely scarce     Beyond our collective limits Found are the Lost                      Lost are the castaways An hour glass that’s ever flipping       Never fully reset Grain by Grain, washed away       Hostage to its environment To a role it must play, despite conviction               Tick,                    Tick,                         As time infinitely stands still And goes by so fast, simultaneously     Is that the haze we had hoped to create? A line so blurred, that reality hangs upside down          Deception                Failure                    Acceptance                What’s your poison?      Will it be your vice or virtue that places you into eternal slumber Beautifully tragic         Completely composed                            T    O   X   I   C
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Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 4:20 PM UTC
Beautifully (In)Toxic
Vivid Neon Skies   Drip,       Drip,            Sliding down the pain Scratching, clawing            searching for escape Barely healing            Rarely living Corporate gowns of filth                A shallow wasteland of next level haute We cry out our blood is all red       Til the stitching becomes undone                   Hemorrhaging on the ground a Benjamin green Peace            Love                     Total Collapse Babble’s tower            Jericho’s wall                  Your Ivory towers Ruins in due time        Corrupt soil will not produce a healthy growth Fields of violets         A river’s bend                  The very breath of life Wonderfully misleading                  Genuinely scarce     Beyond our collective limits Found are the Lost                      Lost are the castaways An hour glass that’s ever flipping       Never fully reset Grain by Grain, washed away       Hostage to its environment To a role it must play, despite conviction               Tick,                    Tick,                         As time infinitely stands still And goes by so fast, simultaneously     Is that the haze we had hoped to create? A line so blurred, that reality hangs upside down          Deception                Failure                    Acceptance                What’s your poison?      Will it be your vice or virtue that places you into eternal slumber Beautifully tragic         Completely composed                            T    O   X   I   C
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48
You think I failed you, I think you fail me So at least that is one thing we have in common The accounts we tell others, are not the whole truth Embellishing rags to pass as couture You were the King on the board I should have been your Bishop, or even your Rook Not your little solider pawn Your Queen protected you, She tried to protected me too Your Knight got such undeserved praise The Grandest of moves, the day the board claimed the Queen The board broke the pawn, It stonewalled the Knight, & gave The King full control once more The once protected, mighty King aligned himself with the callus, undeserved Knight The board gained a new player, another Queen The reign of the board was once more restored Like a video game, Player One received an extra life Yet, its wasted This Chess game took such an odd turn It’s now become a game of chance- Risk I managed, because I was an ADULT, after all You were not the only one that lost, but you still continue to lose Undeserving, Unrelenting, Unbearable, Unrecognizable Unaware of the second chance we both received Your blind eye does not hurt just me But the pieces of my heart that have come to life There is never the perfect explanation…
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Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 9:32 AM UTC
Check
The back-up to the back-up, to whom is a back-up still You call yourself friend Your displaced attitude tramples you into foe We fought side by side Through things that most others would abandon Many of them did My heart sang for your friendship, thinking you felt the same I was nothing, short of wrong What a pleasure it was to pick up all your garbage The aftermath of your Murphy’s law I wanted to be your door of opportunity Only to be mocked as the mat that caught the mud of your shoes One Guiding principle in life to still share though My swan song, if you will Be a good person because it is who you are Not for what it may get you Be honest Be fair Be gentle Know your worth Understand that poison can still taste like kool-aid The way a snake no longer just crawls on its belly or has scales Snakes wear some of the biggest & brightest smiles While hissing through their teeth Forgive them when they bite, for they will Forgiveness is not ours to withhold a bargaining chip to earn good graces Forgiveness requires you to move on, fully & completely For the snake’s nature is to strike, for its own survival alone Good people want to save them But to save them We must leave them
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Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 9:27 AM UTC
Pecking Order