Last saturday i was in bed.
My body ached.
I wasn't blinking.
Then i fell asleep.
Last night i was sitting on the floor.
I could hear my blood rushing through my veins.
Things are just weird right now.
I can't cry.
Four days ago the girl in front of me touched my pencils.
It made me feel uncomfortable.
She didn't meant to.
But she did.
Today my brother went on a trip.
I slept on his bed.
He's funny.
But i hate him.
Yesterday i had a math test.
I didn't respond to anything.
I don't care.
I really don't.
Apr 17, 2014
Apr 17, 2014 at 3:33 PM UTC
We are only here to die.
All the blood sweat and tears you put into running your first marathon
That award winning book you wrote that captured the heart of millions of children
All the money that you won from winning the lottery...
Means nothing.
It all means nothing.
All of this...
Means nothing.
We are only here to die.
But it's the preparation that decides
What will happen after life.
The choices that you make in life will decide your fate after life
Which is death.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 2:03 PM UTC
Mami was my grandmother.
Was.
Because she's dead.
She died October 20th.
The day after my best friend's birthday party.
The day after a boy said i was pretty.
I cried, of course,
but as the days passed i realized i wasn't so sad.
And that made me really angry.
How couldn't be sad?
What was wrong with me?
I remember this day when she wrote my name on a notebook.
She wanted to talk to me.
She said she was sorry about what happened.
Long story.
I remember when she had the stroke.
It was my brother's birthday and she was so happy on the phone.
Mom was smoothing my hair and my aunt called.
I remember the lost look in her eyes.
I remember my sister crying.
I remember telling my brother on the phone.
I remember crying.
But i can't remember was was the last thing she said to me.
And that's ****** up.
After she died i understood my mixed feelings.
I miss my grandmother.
But the lady in the bed of a ****** hospital wasn't my grandmother.
I know it sounds mean.
But it's the truth.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 1:55 PM UTC
There's something missing in this heap of hearts.
i'd happily admit he'd fall apart
without his special taste of what was to come
after every horror night he'd slept,
beauty truthful, I wish i'd seen
his glory days, our glory days
we breathe as one, and there's music to come -
but an unstrung guitar would yearn for it.
Something like diamonds or vague metaphors
like years of friends and friendly enemies that struck a bone like a tattooed hand a chord
something like that which fills the soul of rueful smiles and before they left -
he knew that was where he took his breath.
One day I'll come to understand why deprivation is my vice and virtue
and why good things come to those who forget -
but for now its grief for ghosts and phantom hands left unheld
that keeps us both waking during the night.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 1:36 PM UTC
it's funny how mom complains of me using my cellphone at dinner,
but she doesn't stop me.
it's funny how my math teacher said i have a bad attitude,
but he didn't explain the excersises to me because i didn't had the book.
it's funny how last year the whole class hated the priest,
but now he's dead everybody thinks of him as a saint.
it's funny how that sophomore boy used to talk to me all the time,
but now claims he doesn't know who i am.
it's funny how much i wanted to go out as a kid,
but now my body hurts by the idea of getting out of bed.
hope it stills funny when i'm dead.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 1:30 PM UTC
thousands of kids enter the school
I crouch in the corner, trapped
my limbs shake and my heart races
my mom wants to buy a new purse
I shrink away, run to the door
my legs wont move but my mind runs
my best friend didn't call me back
does she need help? does she hate me?
my last meal is being flushed away
Generalized Anxiety
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 1:10 PM UTC
if you were a plant,
you would be so beautiful,
i would purchase you
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 1:06 PM UTC
That year Susie Hydes went to school wearing a pink skirt.
So the girl bought a pink skirt with her money.
But hers was cheap.
And her brother laughed at her.
That year Susie Hydes wore black eyeshadow to a party.
So the girl went back home and used her mom’s eye shadow.
But she didn’t look pretty.
She looked silly.
That year Susie Hydes let a boy touch her breast under her shirt.
But nobody wanted to touch the girl’s breast.
So she went home.
And touched it herself.
But it wasn’t nice.
It was sad.
That year Susie Hydes wasn’t Susie anymore, she was Susan.
So the girl told everybody to call her Amanda ‘cause that was a misterious name.
But nobody listened.
So she was just the girl.
That year Susie Hydes was prom queen.
But that year the girl didn’t do anything.
She just gave herself a shot in the head with her dad’s gun.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 1:02 PM UTC
