I have sought love.
I have sought love in many places,
the wrong places I should say.
Mistreated
Misunderstood
Betrayed
A ****
A *****
Useless
Daddy issues
That is what I was called.
I have sought love and all I gave away was myself
I was selfless.
Did not have any expectations
Did not have any guaranty of how long it would last
All I wanted was to be loved and to be heard.
I have sought love and on my third fall
I felt hard that I had no other choice but to love myself.
I fell so hard, I was heard, I was understood, I was not judged.
I fell in love with myself and I was truly grateful because fulfillment came from within.
I fell in love and disappointments became life lessons.
I fell in love and achievements became lifetime celebrations.
I fell in love and saw no purpose in a man.
Jun 4, 2021
Jun 4, 2021 at 2:55 PM UTC
I hate summer days
My joy is placed on rainy days
all covered up
laughs in disguise,
tears seem to hide
With one tear drop
All I can do is step aside.
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 12:42 PM UTC
Just like I would paint a picture in your mind and making you see the way i want you to see it, You will never know me.
I would take years and decades describing my favourite food, how amazing it would taste and how decadent I prefer it to be,
You will never know me.
I could express my emotions of love, pain, past, dreams, motives and all there is to be emotional about
Tell you what i most yearn for
how I want to be held
And play the woman you want me to be
whether its being a wife
Mother of your kids
Your one night stand
or your psychotic rock of emotions
I would invest all of my time
My energy explaining myself to you
Telling you how my day was , trying to acknowledge my actions for the day.
You will never know me.
How I cry
sleeping on your chest
depressed
Making you believe
The love that we share would FOREVER exist
Having you hold my hand
Watching you lead the way
Checking whether the street is safe for me to cross
our Souls meeting through our palms
The warmth of our blood meeting the touch of our hands
the senses, the feel's between us.
You will never know me...
Lip-locking
exchanging our DNA's
exciting adventure that we love embarking
**** how we look foward to these moments
Passing "I love you,
You are my everything.
I don't see myself without you.
I will never leave you!!
You mean the world to me!!"
Trying to make you understand my heart and mind
Wondering what the world really means.
I don't know what life means
I don't know what my interests would be in the next hour
whether my favourite colour would still be black
Or it will swiftly change to pink.
You will never know me coz I'm still getting to know me too
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 5:31 AM UTC
DEATH...
The thought of you scares me
Reminds me of how fast time is ticking
And how many close to me have encountered you on their journey.
You remind me not only to dream but to act fast on what I desire most.
The thought of you makes me value relationships
cherish the moments I have with my daughter
How I enjoy combing her hair and telling her what an intelligent and beautiful little being she is.
Yes, because of you I have to raise an independent woman
because, I too shall meet you one day
hope it won't be soon enough.
Death
I have learned to make the best out of every moment even if its on my worst days
Even if it were to be my last day.
I wake up every morning just to check if my alarm will still go on
If it does, I know I'm not yet on heavens gates.
I wake up early to make morning calls
reply to last nights texts
Just so they know you and I have not yet met.
Because of you I asure my mother how much I love her and how grateful I am to be the woman I am today.
I worry less about what is thought of me
And work more on their last thoughts of me
Obviously I want to be remembered as the bubbly, cheerful and beautiful human I was destined to be.
I not only forgive easily but knowing that you'll take me by surprise
I avoid grudges OR unresolved fights coz I do not want to leave anyone with a broken heart.
I now know somethings are meant to be and some are not coz My forever lies with you.
Whether you take me on my crippled days in bed
whether you take me on a sunny blissful day
No!!! Don't get it twisted
I do not FEAR you
I just fear leaving them without words
And the memories of my smile...
Death,
The thought of you makes me appreciate those morning smells of coffee
Don't really mind how green the grass is or how blue the sky may be
I just appreciate them more coz soon I know
IT WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME.
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 9:44 AM UTC
Paint me with the slight scars
that appear with insights of
incidents that took place
with nature's intention to groom my strength.
The beauty spot
on my lip is not an
Edit but a feature of difference amongst
millions that exist.
If possible, make my
dimple stand out 'cause
It's my symbol of my joy.
With your painting of me
I'll carve stars that'll shoot
to endless nights of happiness.
Paint an image of me that represents
Our love.
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 9:57 AM UTC
So I asked " what will I be to you when I'm gone?
Will I be the dead one?
Will I be the cut on your heart?
What will I be to you?"
Not intended to leave with unfinished tasks
But I intended to fall in love with you
Will I still be your lover?
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 9:55 AM UTC
If my lips would reach for yours
Would you meet me half way?
My breath so fresh and warm
But after it all would you accept me?
The scars on my face
The beauty spot on my bottom lip
The crooked smile I have.
Love to be unwritten and carved into man made stars.
Would you still love me?
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 9:54 AM UTC
What have they done to you?
What have they done to your hair?
What have they done to your skin?
What have they done to you?
Beautiful little girl
With soft and natural hair,
But then you saw them
And ended up with hair made up of plastic.
Hair made up of sacrifice .
Hair that labels your expenses .
Hair that has changed you!!
Lovely smile you used to rock
But then you saw them
And ended up with mud on your face,
Blush on your cheeks,
Paint on your lips
And crayons on your eyes.
Your face has become a work of clowns.
Miraculously your skin turned into light
Because you wanted to be seen as light as them in pictures.
Your weight dropped
Because you wanted to be thin as them in poses.
Your name changed from Buhle to Beauty
Because it was easier for them to pronounce.
What have they done to your identity ??
You visit malls to search for the perfect dress
But why not shop for a bag full of
Personal identity
Joy
Self-esteem
Inner beauty
Self-love
Confidence??
You chose to look like them
Than to be you!
You chose pretty
Instead of BEAUTIFUL...
You chose to be trapped
Than to be liberated.
You chose to be them
Instead of being you!!!
BEAUTIFUL is to lift your chin up
With love, joy and uniqueness.
Pretty is to be THEM.
If I were you I would choose to be beautifully smart
Beautifully lovely
Beautifully confident
Beautifully unique.
I would choose to be BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 9:54 AM UTC
Days passed without food.
Water was what we had for
Breakfast, lunch and supper.
Seeing a mother crying tears of lost hope
Seeing a child scratching each and every ***
As if he would miraculously find food.
Will it be forever that all we hear, see, eat and touch is Poverty??
Child of poverty, I am.
Dreaming with an empty stomach filled me up for a jiffy.
For a minute I tasted my dream.
For a second I hoped to live it.
I wanted to be in Poverty no more.
With a touch of hope, I dared.
I dared to chase my dreams.
With no mind-forged manacles.
I strived for my belief.
With a touch of God's grace:
Child of Poverty , I was.
Child of Poverty, no more.
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 9:51 AM UTC
It's pretty and precious when you speak and spit those words of yours that are meaningless.
It's deep and thoughtful when you think you own the land that you were raised up on.
I think it's hilarious when shoes are compared to the price of bread.
Is it me that sees material being more worthy than food?
Brazilian weaves become ends meal and yet no meal is eaten at the end of the day.
Gold twisted to coins
And yet POVERTY is still a lifestyle.
The TRUTH being twisted into LIES.
Fast money reaching it's greatest peak
But in reality we know that slow money is more purer.
Our hands are filled with BLOOD
Our MINDS are locked in chains
Our wrists are slit with blades.
We are blinded by our stories
Covered by our problems
Scared of the truth.
We'd rather face the darkness than being caught in the light.
Because I heard that once you're caught in light
You're a "GOODY-TWO-SHOES".
We throw punchlines
But they bounce back
With lines that form a REBOUND.
Superficial, materialistic and cynical is what we define.
DREAMS burnt away
As if in a crucible where metals are melted and purified.
Our streets are blocked by ashes
Our senses are polluted with gas.
Yes, our MEN are filled with violence
And yet our WOMEN appear to be resentful and bitter!
But have you forgotten that BITTER was once SWEET
HATE was once LOVE
ENEMIES were once FRIENDS?
It's more simple when we reflect our backs on the mirror
'cause now it's not us that we face.
We running from the truth
Due to our fear of our roots.
Remember that God didn't create a coward
Neither did he create a sinner.
It's just the life that we face that trickles us down.
We pop bottles in funerals.
We take shots on horses 'cause we want a hell of a ride.
Our tongues twist what's true to false.
We have become slaves of our sins
So in denial, lost, confused and BRUTALLY tampered with.
We are set for LIBERATION,
INKULULEKO
FREEDOM.
We have misused our freedom.
Yes , we don't appear to be SINNERS,
We are sinners!!
But I prefer to be a RIGHTEOUS SINNER . . . .
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 9:47 AM UTC