What’s wrong with a broken heart?
I have a whole one
And honestly I’d rather have it gone
Because what use is a heart so perfect?
When there’s not a crack on the surface
To let anyone in?
Indeed over time
Mine has become a battle hardened soldier
It falls
And gets broken
Only to come back stronger than ever
But maybe
It’s become a bit too strong
So strong
It’s brittle
Aug 5, 2016
Aug 5, 2016 at 10:14 AM UTC
I try to distract myself
With mindless tasks
A futile attempt to calm myself down
Yet it still fills my head
Those words I wanted to hear
But never did
It burns at the back of my head
And I still feel it
Strumming at my vocal chords
Plucking at my heartstrings
So like a fool I thought the tune would carry
Across the stormy seas we once sailed on
I thought it would carry
All the way to you
Yes, like a fool for you I called you
In the middle of the night
So that the words I’ve never heard
Could finally be spoken
Even if it came from someone like me
Who’s already broken
It rang for a while
With two beeps at the end
But as the tone finished
This is all that was said
“Subscriber cannot be reached, please try again later.”
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 1:03 PM UTC
If I tell myself
It’s fine
It’s okay
I’m alright
If I say it enough times
Will it come true?
Will I believe it?
Will I stop feeling like ****
Someone please come
Save me
Make me feel safe
Because I feel like
I’m drowning
Crashing
Falling
And I have half a mind
To just let my self
Drown
Crash
Fall
Somebody listen
To my call
Because I have half a mind
Which doesn’t want to go
But right now
That half is losing
So here I am
Ever so slowly descending
Into empty space I go
When it’s beside you I’d much rather be
So please won’t you come and listen
To this lilting melody
This playful banter
Between me and my fleeting sanity
Yes
It’s fine
It’s okay
I’m alright
Yes no need to worry
But hurry
Please hurry
Try to make me feel lucid
As you tug me back to reality
Help me back up
Because I did bring rope
But it’s much too short
To scale the sides of this pit
And the ladder
Has fallen over
Along with the chair lying on its side
My head is spinning
And my neck is aching
Won’t you pepper it with kisses
To stop the burning?
But you’re not here
No one is
And maybe later
I won’t be either
Jul 11, 2016
Jul 11, 2016 at 7:35 AM UTC
Well I fell in love with mother nature
with her destructive yet benevolent ways
She had a look she gave me
sensation like lightning
She had beauty like a hurricane
it demanded attention
Yet her presence was that of a gentle breeze
on a scorching summer day
Subtle yet longed for
in every way
Her touch sent earthquakes
that shook the very earth on which I stood upon
As I fell to the floor
and my knees kissed the ground
I begged her
to have mercy on my heart
which she had flooded with desperate want
Jul 11, 2016
Jul 11, 2016 at 5:11 AM UTC
Depression
It seems like an indention
A dent in my life
Like a truck
Was too late to pull to a stop
And there was nothing to do but drop
And lie flat
Let it flatten me
So I can never get up
It hit and left a mark
An imperfection
They say
A decision
They say
It's not
But it's hard to argue
When everyone's talking over you
So just come and commentate on
My descent into sadness
madness
What's the difference?
It's not going to make people understand better
Come, let's just wait
For the perfect moment
the perfect torment
When voices like mine
Start screaming in minds like mine
Regurgitating
Imitating
Reiterating
Varying speculations
on what's wrong with me
wrong in me
wrong and me
wrongme
Help me ready the hearse
To bury this curse
Once and for all
Though everyone hoped I didn't have to come along
I kept hearing that it was a choice
It didn't feel like it was
So I thought I was missing out
But now it's all good no doubt
Because I get to use the coffin I myself picked out.
Jul 7, 2016
Jul 7, 2016 at 9:31 AM UTC
I've lost my mind
Trying to put everything into order
I've lost my soul
Trying to find my self
Or at least what I could gather
I've lost people I love
Trying my best, for them, to be better
But now I'm afraid of finding out what I've become
Though I'm more afraid of finding out
That I didn't have to become anything at all
That I was just this monster all along
And what everbody believes about me is wrong
It's easy to make people think they know me
That they can read me so easily
I wish it was so
But they don't
Not really
And they can't
Not even the summary
Because I've become too good at hiding
A product of lifetimes before a mirror practicing
Nobody really knows the trick behind it but me
And honestly
Sometimes I wish it didn't always work so easily
But nobody's gotten past the mask I wear daily
Because people like the facade I give
And the words that say I wear my heart on my sleeve
I'm a master of illusion
Making things seem like they're there
When they're not
So don't ever tell me you love me
Because that's not something you know
So I'm sorry if I'm not quite convinced
That it's me you love
And not my shadow
Jun 27, 2016
Jun 27, 2016 at 8:02 AM UTC
It would take me
An eternity
To list all the reasons why I love you
And all the things that I would do
To keep my life filled to the brim with you
But that’s okay
Really
If it takes an eternity
I would gladly
Give it my all
Because I know
With every part of my being
That I will love you
For just as long
Jun 12, 2016
Jun 12, 2016 at 5:55 AM UTC
I’m sorry
I’m sorry I have reason to be
You deserve more
Than this shameful apology
Believe me I’d much rather say
I want you
I adore you
I love you
Instead of I’m sorry
I hurt you
I broke you
I left you
Because I can’t deny
That I heard you say
You love me
You loved me
I’m sorry that
You loved me
This stone wall
Filled with cracks
Broken and guarded
Yet you loved me
And I’m sorry
Because I couldn’t
And still can’t
Say it back truthfully
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 1:25 AM UTC
I promised myself that
I’d never make anyone my world
And I didn’t
I made my own world
And spun in my axis
Days passed
Lives flashed
And flickered
I had convinced myself
That I didn’t need anyone to orbit me
That I had too much on my plate to keep me busy
The constellations needed arranging
The planets needed realigning
The stars needed shining
Yes no one was my world
And it was fine
So I spun
And I spun
And I spun
On my own
But I didn’t know
That my world was set
For the big bang course
And was bound to collide with yours
When it hit
My world shook
My world was set on fire
My world was never the same
Yet after all that
You didn’t become my world still
As I had always promised
My world was mine
And your world was yours
Though admittedly there was no part of mine
That was left untouched by yours
Your gravity worked
So strongly on me
Pulling me in so effortlessly
Though I didn’t mind really
Sticking around for an eternity
Because truthfully
To be apart from you
Is something I never want to be
So there we were
In a cosmic dance we vowed to do forever
And it was amazing
As we spun
And we spun
And we spun
Together
Yes my world was mine
And your world was yours
Yet in the process
You somehow managed
To become my whole universe
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016 at 9:14 AM UTC