NO MORE am I confident in what this world has to offer
Its people are selfish and crazed
Chewing up and spitting out the meek and mild souls
Imprisoning an empath to suffering and pain
NO LONGER can I look upon life fondly
With that pure yet innocent gaze
I've been stripped of the wonderous excitement that curiosity can bring
And replaced it with an anxious but violent haze
NO MATTER the extent to which I try to recover
My mind keeps taking me back to those horrific days
Where a person or persons exorcised their demons
Placing those vivid memories on a continuous loop of play
NO DOUBT I'm broken and tainted
Which is quite short of filing it all away
I cannot condone or explain exactly why
Those that slaughtered my reality did NOT somehow pay
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019 at 7:18 PM UTC
It starts with a blur
Then frightening moments of clarity
It flashes piece by piece
Then my mind changes polarity
An erratic heartbeat
Leads my consciousness away
Being frozen in terror
Leads all body movement astray
I smell things
When they aren't present now
I sense things
When I know there's nothing around
I see HIM
And then I don't
I feel HIM
And then I choke
If I ever remember it all
Maybe then, my mind will be at peace
With all the horrors out in the open
Maybe then, my body will finally get that coveted release
Sep 3, 2019
Sep 3, 2019 at 2:59 PM UTC
When spoken by the timid
It evokes anxiety and fear
Ruminating over how to utilize it
And desperately not wanting to hear
The dauntless utter it overtly
Overconfident in prose and strength
Never contemplating the consequences
Keeps everyone at an arm's length
A sentence this precise shouldn't be so confusing
Nor open to the interpretation of its core
"No Means No", as a matter of fact
The brazen should use it sparingly, and the meek demand it more
Aug 1, 2019
Aug 1, 2019 at 1:00 AM UTC
A weight that crushes
With every exhaled breath
Leaves me helpless and hopeless
Creating an emotional death
I'm tired of hiding from feeling
And apologizing for who I am
Needing to depart from the shadows
Being that person, no one understands
Two parts of a self
That is conflicted but wishes to be whole
One yearning to please everyone
The other desperately trying to escape from web spun molds
This delicate silk
No matter how impenetrable the twine
Hopefully will start separating
And allow both sides to emerge combined
Jul 26, 2019
Jul 26, 2019 at 12:12 PM UTC
I believe you held my attention
From the moment our eyes first met
Desiring to emulate and follow you
In your hands, my world was set
An opportunity to help me flourish
By way of your tutelage and guise
I wanted to hold the title, "Daddy's Little Helper"
And witness the pride in those eyes
Your gaze seemed more of disdain than a satisfaction
Making me yearn to keep toeing the line
Always striving to be, just perfect enough
And worthy of anyone's time
When precision becomes routine, expectations are assumed
Leaving no forgiveness for not doing what was told
I did more than my share, freeing others from their burdens
And my childhood got lost within the fold
Lessons were handed out, on both sides of a wall
Built upon fear, stubbornness, and pride
Desperate and broken, I faded away
Creating an impossible divide
As time passed by, you moved on with life
Erasing our troubled memories with something new
That was never my thing, family loyalty was innate
So I choked on but buried deep, my feelings of you
Alienation gave cause, for my contentment in being hopeless
That we would ever, share the same breath of air
But out of nowhere, your heart falls suddenly on a sleeve
Now together, we are healing and attempting to repair
Thanks, Dad...
Jul 8, 2019
Jul 8, 2019 at 12:09 AM UTC
A flaw or difference to one,
Is a pathway towards acceptance
For another...
...In a world that embraces and encourages
a "cookie-cutter" mentality,
Individuality should be celebrated,
Not chastised!
Jun 3, 2019
Jun 3, 2019 at 5:11 PM UTC
You must not know
The pain I hide
So, I tuck it away
Until it burns me alive
It sears every cell
Of my weak and battered soul
Searching for a breath of air
To ignite a raging inferno
I conceal it to protect you
From a burdened and heinous fact
Past horrors are devouring me
Forcing my mind to reenact
Scenes and images I cannot fathom
Therefore, I am reluctant to share
Hoping for a bit of resilience
To save you from the crosses I bear
May 31, 2019
May 31, 2019 at 2:24 PM UTC
They come out of nowhere
And can be as simple as a word
Intrusive, flashing voices
Who refuse not to be heard
These opinions with biased force
Keep ringing in my ears
Burning through my retinas
And searing their mark upon my fears
Like a thousand prickling itches
That cannot be soothed by a scratch
Stifling does not contain them
They constantly find new ways of attack
The mind is a delicate balance
Of inner and outer cues
A slight shift can cause a deafening
Where clear thoughts spiral to confused
Apr 7, 2019
Apr 7, 2019 at 1:28 PM UTC
Free from judgment
Free from fear
No worries about fitting in
'Cause we all are welcome here
Serene is the setting
Serenity is the goal
With many hooves patrolling these grounds
There's no need to be in control
Relinquish your inhibitions
Renounce your social curse
For everyone is beautiful within these walls
Embracing the individual first
Security will be a priority
Secure will be the first thing you feel
Guided by a firm yet loving curator
This shed of safety is REAL...
Feb 4, 2019
Feb 4, 2019 at 11:44 PM UTC
This step,
Moves you forward
That step,
Sets you back
Be determined to just keep moving
And not panic, when the mind attacks
Being present,
Allows growth
Numbing out,
Smothers the seed
Staying nourished, in both body and soul
Lifts the fog and allows you to breathe
Going quick,
Isn't always better
Slow and steady,
Can set the pace
Running, may not be faster
For crawling, could win the race
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 11:52 AM UTC