Tears Cascade my cheeks
Streams of regret
I hate myself more today than yesterday for missing you
while you
celebrate the fourth of July
with him
campfires
fireworks
and family secrets chased down with
cold beers.
Attempt to maintain the facade...
Everything is fine.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Refuse to panic.
.
Floating on oceans of your betrayal
Your silence is deafening.
Time creeps like a shark in deep waters
I dream
of
abandoned cities
rotting landscapes
and
... you
Caressing your frigid cheek as you lye in your casket
I dread the day I lose you
(I've already lost you)
Train my mind not to think about that.
Train my mind not to think about you.
My heart, a stubborn child, refuses to forget.
Beating slowly,
beckoning these bruised and clumsy bones to get out of bed.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Refuse to panic.
One foot in front of the other
Learn how to walk this life without you
My friends assure me,
"it's okay to not always be okay"
September 1st : 12 am
I await a call I'm certain will never arrive
Sing to myself instead
It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to
Inhale.
Exhale.
Refuse to panic.
Teach myself to like being alone.
Block you on Facebook.
Teach my myself to feel the sun
and hear the birds again.
Tell myself
I am strong.
Tell myself
I don't need anyone.
Fake it til you make it.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Refuse to panic.
Sep 1, 2018
Sep 1, 2018 at 11:42 PM UTC
We loved
Like
Long walks on rainy days
Late night adventures at Dennys
Conversations about things much bigger than the two of us
Our love
Is
Banana Pancakes
Jack johnson
Eating heart shape brownies on valentines day
Laughing so hard I drool chocolate on your white t-shirt
With anyone else I'd be embarrassed
But we....
Laugh
all the way from the cafeteria to Mrs. Cooks classroom and back
Of course I didn't forget
That day
The way
You made me laugh
Feel it in your toes
Throughout your entire body
Pure joy
Our love
Is
Sunshine
Big city dreaming
Making bucket lists
On that blue couch
Where we fell in love
"If you're a turtle I'm a turtle"
Inside jokes that no one understands
We were the best kind of cheesy
We loved
Like
It would last forever
Like maybe it still could last forever?
Soulmate is cliche
But the way it feels when we're together...
Like I've been waiting
For you
For
Our love
My entire life
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 16, 2018 at 10:45 PM UTC
loving you is
big city dreams
walking downtown with your arm around my waist
invincible
loving you is
missing my bus stop
not once
but twice
this week
(its only Tuesday)
because I'm too busy daydreaming
about the next time I might see you
loving you is
twisting my ankle
slipping on black ice
distracted
writing poems about the way you make me feel
(that just happened)
loving you is visiting all the places that you took me
hoping I might run into you
loving you is ordering old fashions from eric at bdubs just to have a taste of our last kiss
loving you is silly love poems
and sappy love songs
attempting to gather a group of words to explain what exactly it is that I'm feeling
loving you is reading the letters you wrote me all those years ago
over and over again
longing for a sign
that one day
you'll come back to me
Feb 13, 2018
Feb 13, 2018 at 2:51 PM UTC