I remember the confession,
And the dress I wore that day,
I will not forget the silence,
That sound never goes away,
I sat clothed in the bathtub,
Elbows to my knees,
As I watched the running water,
And told myself to breathe,
In that terrifying hour,
As I heard you go to bed,
I tried to comprehend,
All the words that you had said,
How easy you watched my tears fall,
And never even flinched,
It was constant fear I lived in,
Each time your fists were clinched,
My scars remind me every day,
Of something you made clear,
Hell must be empty,
Because the devils are all here.
May 6, 2019
May 6, 2019 at 12:13 PM UTC
"Your day" caused me to reminisce,
Of a day I had before,
My dress was not as beautiful,
But I, too, was promised a love forevermore,
My forever did not last long,
Barely four short years,
And the only thing I learned of love,
Was it should not instill such fear,
I know today is about you,
And he's right, who am I to say?
For he's so proud to be with you,
As long as you act the right way,
I hope that every dream you have,
He's always there to cheer,
Of course I see your eye is blue,
But we can blame that on the beer,
I know that time he cheated,
You know will never happen twice,
You must know how much he loves you,
Since you can only seek his advice,
Yes I recall that beautiful day,
He recited his vows to you,
And I've heard all the times he's told you,
What you could or could not do,
Yes he's humiliated you in public,
But he said sorry for making you frown,
You say he's the perfect man there is,
He couldn't have meant to push you down,
Yes, of course, he loves you,
I see the house he put you in,
Yes, your photos are beautiful,
We all know how happy you both have been,
I pray you always keep this love,
I have no wisdom to offer you,
I know you'll never end up like me,
Just a victim of abuse.
Apr 27, 2019
Apr 27, 2019 at 7:31 PM UTC
One day I hope you realize,
That he was just a boy,
Marriage was a word to him,
He juggled hearts like they were toys,
And it hurts, my God, it hurts to know,
His love with just a lie,
And how easily he left his family,
With a simple wave “good-bye”,
But the victory has been won, my dear,
Your suffering is not is vain,
For the day will come when you wake up,
No longer in constant pain,
Time will heal these wounds somehow,
Every bruise and every word,
And you’ll use this pain to help another,
As a beacon to their hope,
But I know that this brokenness,
Is not something you’ll soon forget,
But cowards like him will never win,
At games like Russian Roulette.
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 6:18 PM UTC
Your pain is overwhelming,
I know you’re tired and confused,
For how could someone express such love,
Only to tear your soul in two?
Nothing will make sense right now,
And with every breathe you’ll ache,
For how could God give so much at once,
Only to take so much away?
But perhaps He had no hand in this,
Or suppose maybe He did,
If you’ll trust He knows His plan for you,
And no evil from Him is hid,
He knows the depth of pain you’re in,
For it measures the joy you’ll know,
So pray for those who’ve hurt you heart,
Soon they will reap all they have sowed.
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 3:32 AM UTC
My paintings on the wall,
Won’t be there when you wake,
And the moment you roll over,
You’ll soon realize your mistake,
Little footprints down the hall,
Won’t be there for you to hear,
And the shame of what you made me do,
Will soon turn into fear,
Your coffee won’t be waiting,
Neither will dinner be at night,
You’ll have no one to watch movies with,
Or hold close to you so tight,
I won’t be there for holidays,
Or for another romantic date,
You threw so much of my love away,
But didn’t realize what awaits,
Until you feel the loneliness,
Like I did in that hospital room,
The day you left and called me names,
As our little suffered in the womb,
Though don’t you worry,
You don’t need me, right?
Since I’m crazy and no use,
But karma is real and it won’t be long,
Until you know what it feels like to lose.
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018 at 1:02 AM UTC
No one knows the depth of love,
Until the hour of separation,
For all the things you couldn’t stand,
You’ll beg back in desperation,
The grudges and the madness,
Will all suddenly go away,
And the only thing you’ll ache for,
Is to hold them one more day,
Just to show how much you care,
And the joy they make you feel,
And refuse to speak of any hurts,
Since forgiveness helps us heal,
So if your love is still alive,
Yet hostility is in between,
Love them while there’s still a chance,
For there are no time machines.
May 4, 2018
May 4, 2018 at 11:42 PM UTC
Life will throw you curve *****
Sometimes back to back,
And nothing will make sense right then,
When life gets thrown off track,
Perhaps your love betrayed you,
And then you lost your job,
Or an unexpected tragedy,
Becomes the cherry on the top,
I promise if you hold on tight,
You’ll see the sun still rise,
And in months you’ll look back where you were,
Glad you’re still alive,
For these moments are when you realize,
That life is about the storms,
Since if your heart stays just as soft,
This cold world you will warm.
May 4, 2018
May 4, 2018 at 6:16 PM UTC
Loneliness can be hard I know,
But it’s nowhere near as bad,
As crying yourself to sleep at night,
Because the abuse makes you so sad,
Imagine rushing home from work,
To see the one you love,
Only to be greeted by,
More insults and more shoves,
I’ve learned we mistake love sometimes,
For fear of being alone,
And even if it’s the devil waiting,
At least someone’s at home,
The bravest thing I ever did,
Was finally run away,
I ignored his calls to get me back,
And soon began to pray,
I finally learned what real love meant,
When I read what God had said,
And though I may be lonely still,
At least I am not dead.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 11:05 PM UTC
If he had truly loved you,
You wouldn’t be sitting here alone,
In a pool of doubt and sadness,
Hurting right down to the bone,
You would not be ever wondering,
About what was wrong with you,
For you never once deserved the pain,
Or the abuse he put you through,
If he had truly loved you,
He would have stayed true to every vow,
He would have held you when you hurt,
But your feelings were not allowed,
And I know you think he’s fine and all,
Since you’re in this much pain,
But you know he’s good at acting,
And making you feel insane,
Because I promise the ones who hurt the most,
Are the ones who pretend they're fine,
So your pain is not in vain, my dear,
One day your life will be divine.
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 10:15 PM UTC
Physical beauty might catch your eye,
But inner will catch your heart,
And if you can’t see past each other’s skin,
You’ll always be lost in the dark,
For I once met a woman with beautiful skin,
But she was the ugliest person I knew,
Since it wasn’t her physical beauty that hurt me,
Her inner self tore me in two,
And I found myself being fooled once more,
By a man with beautiful skin,
Since I learned it was only my body he saw,
And never my beauty within,
For it was the hardest lessons I ever learned,
But they taught me a lot about love,
Because the day all our bodies deteriorate,
It’ll expose what they were truly made of.
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 7:21 PM UTC