I fell for you the moment we met,
But not all at once.
It was a slow descent,
More of a seeping
Into somewhere I had not been before.
Would it be sweet and warm?
Would it be tranquil and still?
Or would it chew me up, spit me out,
Leave me drowned and alone?
And I kept falling.
And you dragged me down by my hair.
A flirty text tugged me down like a brick,
Towards some unknown damnation.
A grab of the thigh sent me spinning,
Over and over and over for weeks.
Then I landed.
Without grace and grazing my skin.
I landed in a place called Truth.
It was filled with a single light,
Surrounded by shadows that whispered
that you would never love me back.
And the whispers broke my bones,
They drew blood from my nose.
I screamed.
But then I began to float,
Carried by a warm wind.
A wind who called herself Revelation.
She told me to rise up
And to realise that you were still here
Here for me.
And that even if it's not in the way I wanted,
It's more than I could ever ask for.
Now, basked in the light of Friendship,
My bones mend, my nose stops bleeding.
And I can start healing.
Dec 18, 2020
Dec 18, 2020 at 1:27 PM UTC
Each day I wake with a feeling of pride.
I’ve made a recovery, have healed my mind.
Learned to appreciate the world so wide,
Do my washing, make my bed, fall in line.
I even go for daily walks to clear my head,
For when the man in the shadows spits out death threats,
To escape what is and discover what could be,
If I just power through with my recovery.
But I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know how to live,
I went diving head first without knowing how to swim.
My family waits, smiles fixed, but eyes tired,
Clapping for any little thing, weighed down by wishful pride.
I just have to raise the alarm, make some kind of sound,
But falling is fine until you hit the ground.
Jun 29, 2018
Jun 29, 2018 at 4:16 AM UTC
You came and took my breath away,
Took my soul and now I'm clay,
For you to mould as you see fit,
To reassemble bit by bit.
Give me a brain to think of you,
Give me a heart to bring life new,
Give me veins for my blood to race,
Give me fingers to stroke your face.
Take my brain and make it yours.
Take my heart and smash it on the floor.
Take my veins and tie them in knots.
Take my fingers and let them rot.
You came and took my breath away,
Stole my soul and left me clay,
For you to slice and pound and rip,
To dismantle and to leave in bits.
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 10:38 PM UTC
It's 3AM.
We're on FaceTime.
You play your guitar.
The Smiths.
I don't like the Smiths.
But I like you so it's okay.
It's 3AM.
Unholy hour,
But on my screen is an angel.
All I can do is watch
Spectate
Smile.
"I'm gonna play you one I wrote."
I wait vigorously.
I can't wait to hear your lyrics.
Words are like drugs to me.
And then you sing you words
And I'm on high with a god.
You're shrouded in cigarette smoke
But I see you clearer than ever.
I'm in my bed alone,
But I'm not lonely.
It's 4AM. And I wish time would stop.
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 3:43 PM UTC
I can't come down from this tower,
I'm held here by a curse's power.
I just stare at the stars in the midnight hour,
But I long for the ground, to touch a flower.
I struggle to eat, can barely drink,
I crack open a book, drown in ink.
But it's clear to me that I'm on the brink:
Of sadness.
I can't get out of bed, or in the shower,
I'm held here by my own self's power.
I stare at the ceiling until an ungodly hour,
My mind beginning to wilt like a dying flower.
My confidence and my heart begin to shrink,
But growing still are the ***** plates in the sink.
I continue to breathe, but I am on the brink
Of madness.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 3:21 AM UTC
A feather flutters to the floor,
And as it lands I hear it roar.
Scrape of talons on the bark,
A sonic boom here in the dark.
Through the night two lovers run,
Wishing for warmth from the sun.
But when I say the night is done,
The love is gone, there's only one.
With two the darkness is exciting,
Absorb the flesh and let the night in.
With one the stars seem only frightening,
Blinded by the day, can't let the light in.
One thing to do, to stumble on,
To sing the magpie's lonely song.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 2:55 AM UTC
They are like mirrored glass,
Reflecting back to me what is true,
Seeing not what will come to pass,
But facing it through and through.
Mine look to yours with admiration,
Like a sculptor at his marble, chipped,
A silent din of determination.
Like a slave on his knees being whipped.
The eyes have it and it is all,
The fury, the judgement, the pride,
They see the rise, the peak, the fall
And through it all they cried.
The eyes have it and it is done,
The setting sun between the hills,
They see it all and all is one
The hunt, the capture, the ****
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 2:50 AM UTC
The music at the party is pumping.
All the teenagers are jumping.
But I only hear my heart thumping.
Alone on the sofa and slumping.
Stewing in solitude, a dumpling.
Starting to disintegrate, crumbling.
I feel a disturbance, a rumbling.
I reach for my phone, I'm fumbling,
For a text, a call, something,
Anything to enhance the numbing.
I rise from my perch, stumbling .
I collidewithsomepeople, they're grumbling.
Now I'm falling out the door, tumbling.
People are laughing, tutting frowning.
They see me on the ground, but I'm
drowning.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 2:45 AM UTC
You are the day and I am the night.
When I'm mid-Fall, you give me a Spring.
In the eye of the storm to your rock I do cling.
So cold in the dark 'til I bask in your light.
I would be so lost without you,
Like a bird in flight with no navigation,
Or a loving caress without any sensation,
Man without breath, face turning blue.
I was in the shadows when you found me,
Reached into the pit and pulled me out,
My flood of tears turned into a drought,
My misery to its prior glee.
The sun and moon are not meant to share the sky.
But I'm so grateful that they do.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 2:37 AM UTC
Fire and pain and sorrow behind me,
A soul in my knapsack they didn't want me to have.
I hear shouts from behind the wall I've broken,
I can't let them get me again.
A light, a song, a passion for me
Lying just beyond the boundary.
They shoot me down and I bleed tears,
But I emerge, my loot intact.
But I emerge, body busted and broken.
But I emerge.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 2:33 AM UTC