We broke up
A box of my belongings on the porch
When I found the strength
I went through it
To feel you one last time
Relive the memories
Smell your scent on my clothes
Look through the letters I wrote
The cards I got you for every occasion
In the mix, a Valentine’s Day card
Looked unfamiliar
From someone else... again
Finally a famiLIAR feeling
Broken hearted
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 2:43 AM UTC
I look for you
In every place
In everyone
Pieces of you remain
scattered amongst different places
inside the souls of strangers
I keep trying to piece you back together in my life
But I can’t
Because your gone
no one will ever be you
maybe that’s because you put me together
And I fell apart when you left
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 1:11 AM UTC
I was a master mason
Building walls with ease
Proud of my work
Walls are meant to protect
To keep things out
But it also prevents you from seeing what’s in front of you
Walls also trap things inside
A false sense of security
Before I knew it I was in a prison
A prison I built myself
A prison so perfect I didn’t know how to escape
I ended up alone in a dark place with no one to help
Too many walls to hear my cries
I became the things I was trying to keep out
There is no reason to be afraid of anyone but yourself
Locked away you can hurt yourself more than anyone else could
Tear down your wall
Build yourself up
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 12:50 AM UTC
You stained my heart
Not in a bad way
In a way that you stain wood
To protect it
To keep it safe
To make it last longer
You stained my mind
In a way that you seeped into every thought
You stained my soul
In a way that I can’t live without you
Now all I have are these tears that stain my sheets
Jan 28, 2019
Jan 28, 2019 at 6:00 PM UTC
I found myself sitting in bed
Staring off into the past
All I hear is white noise
I didn't realize how many marks we made in this world, but now I see them so clear
I've been chasing your ghost through every memory we've made the last few years
I always hoped to find you at the end
Just to realize I am the ghost
I'm the one living in the past
I'm the on trapped here
Maybe I was meant to be a ghost in your life
I miss you
I'll stay trapped here just to see your smile and hear that laugh
It's haunting but,
It'll always be worth the pain
Now I know why sometimes ghosts can't leave
They're afraid, just like me
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 2:23 PM UTC
“I hate you,” she said
Those words burned through me like a forest fire.
It was a gunshot right to the heart.
Not even my bulletproof vest could stop it.
Those words were worse than anything I have ever heard, any name I’ve ever been called, and any bone I’ve ever broken.
To be the reason for the pain behind her hatred was the final blow.
It broke me. It peeled back any shell I had as protection.
Killed me.
I understood her pain.
Those words haunt me in my dreams.
Seared my ears on the way in and scarred my heart when they hit.
I just sat there wiping away tears
This can’t be real.
I would give my own heart to fix it. I would give her my life to stop that pain.
I hate me too.
That’s what got me here in the first place.
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 1:04 PM UTC
Everyone has demons
My demons turned me against you
Whispering in my ear
My only weakness
Losing you
I promised I'd keep you safe
I failed
Ive become a demon for you now
I wanted to be an angel for you
A guardian to keep you safe,
But even Satan used to be an angel
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 12:42 PM UTC
I became the darkness I worked in
I was supposed to be the light
So isolated and alone
All I had were the insecurities
Waiting for me in the dark
Saw the worst in people, it affected me
I didn't think there was any hope in this world
The only hope I had was you
You started to fade into the darkness too
How can I be the light for you when I live in darkness?
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 12:31 PM UTC
“I have no ties here” she said
That statement tied a noose around my heart.
“No ties?” I thought.
I thought I was a tie to be here
I thought I was a tie to stay
I thought I was a tie to so many memories
The words wrapped around my neck. Constricting the oxygen to my brain.
The ties I had to you seemed to be fraying.
I saw my visions of the future that I held so dear unraveling from those very words.
I couldn’t fight off the thoughts of you cutting ties with me.
She was tied up herself. She was a tangled mess of pain, fears, wants and dreams.
But all I ever wanted to do was sit down and untie those knots.
And unravel that beautiful mind.
All while hoping I could intertwine a connection together forever.
The words that echoed in my head tied themselves around my heart.
They slowly hung my heart out to dry.
I wanted to tie the knot with her.
I wanted to stitch our hearts together forever.
She was my anchor.
She was my tie.
But I guess some knots that are tied come loose.
“I have no ties here”
But my heart will always be tied to her.
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 12:13 PM UTC