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Bitter_sweet-Letters17
18/F Using the words of others as comfort. Just trying to remember to enjoy the small things in life.
Slurred words Thoughts like restless birds Inhaling the poison that You know makes him Different Its okay though An easieness blankets the nerves Because you know how to use your words He loves you , he wants you, he needs you The idea of an idle car Being made to rumble Knowing very well then Not only him but others would tumble You can’t let him leave You love him, you need him, you want him You reach out, tragic actions And the poison starts to create reactions. Dizzy minded on the floor, You have to block the bathroom door He will die and its okay That you put yourself as the price to pay He reaches up And removes the light Bulb. Its dark and you gulp, hearing the screaming The slamming next to your ears Its All you can hear between heavy breathing Is its okay you won't hurt me You need me. The door flies open, Youre on the floor You can't let him leave Angry and drunk You plead please You know that car wont make it back And that his goal is to Crash. You grab his arm once more You can't let him walk through that front door He will die. And then what are you? To allow him to lose his life? Because you pushed him over the edge All Because of one small thing Offering an uber towards his friend So hed be safe going home So the drinking night could soon end You hold on as long as possible, Because although hes hostle You want him safe, Finally the payment will be paid You feel the hands grip your skull Pounding. Pounding. Loud thuds As your head hits the dryer But you can't feel the pain You can barely see But its okay He wont hurt you Please not today. Youre dragged across the hallway Floor. Hes 10 more steps nearer to the Door. You feel a pressure , it's okay As the corner of the hallway Wall Slams into your waist. 4 steps nearer to that door To that vehicle That he briefly mentioned earlier Before he drank some more You hear a knock at the front He hears it too Youre at the stairs Because if he decents You know youll never see him again He pushes you once, you keep A . one. hand. grip. And he pushes you once more But this time You fall backwards, Down those steps Towards the floor. Your ears are ringing Its okay When you look up Hes not fazed He went to the room Hes safe for today His life costed your mind A fitting price to pay. You answer the door Its police Luckily they didn't see you just roll down Or your bruised knees. You make them leave Because he keeps screaming Let them near and Then theyll be bleeding. You can't make things worse, you already have Maybe someday you can shake this off Maybe laugh. Hours pass, and youre outside his room door Begging on the floor Let me in im sorry Please I just wanted you Safe. Youre allowed in, and greeted with a knife That isnt him, not in those eyes You lay in bed as you watch him sleep You wonder, Why Did you deserve this, because you couldn't let him Die? You stay awake, scared to not have Your eyes Wide Because you already know That he has that knife. Morning comes and your body hurts But nothing compares to the empty Words Please look You beg, to see some sympathy for What he did, so sim-pl-y He sees the purple, the black, the blood But its like it was swept under a rug "What do you want me to say" Nothing. Everything. Something. Its too late
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Jul 13, 2022
Jul 13, 2022 at 7:39 PM UTC
What do you want me to say?
Slurred words Thoughts like restless birds Inhaling the poison that You know makes him Different Its okay though An easieness blankets the nerves Because you know how to use your words He loves you , he wants you, he needs you The idea of an idle car Being made to rumble Knowing very well then Not only him but others would tumble You can’t let him leave You love him, you need him, you want him You reach out, tragic actions And the poison starts to create reactions. Dizzy minded on the floor, You have to block the bathroom door He will die and its okay That you put yourself as the price to pay He reaches up And removes the light Bulb. Its dark and you gulp, hearing the screaming The slamming next to your ears Its All you can hear between heavy breathing Is its okay you won't hurt me You need me. The door flies open, Youre on the floor You can't let him leave Angry and drunk You plead please You know that car wont make it back And that his goal is to Crash. You grab his arm once more You can't let him walk through that front door He will die. And then what are you? To allow him to lose his life? Because you pushed him over the edge All Because of one small thing Offering an uber towards his friend So hed be safe going home So the drinking night could soon end You hold on as long as possible, Because although hes hostle You want him safe, Finally the payment will be paid You feel the hands grip your skull Pounding. Pounding. Loud thuds As your head hits the dryer But you can't feel the pain You can barely see But its okay He wont hurt you Please not today. Youre dragged across the hallway Floor. Hes 10 more steps nearer to the Door. You feel a pressure , it's okay As the corner of the hallway Wall Slams into your waist. 4 steps nearer to that door To that vehicle That he briefly mentioned earlier Before he drank some more You hear a knock at the front He hears it too Youre at the stairs Because if he decents You know youll never see him again He pushes you once, you keep A . one. hand. grip. And he pushes you once more But this time You fall backwards, Down those steps Towards the floor. Your ears are ringing Its okay When you look up Hes not fazed He went to the room Hes safe for today His life costed your mind A fitting price to pay. You answer the door Its police Luckily they didn't see you just roll down Or your bruised knees. You make them leave Because he keeps screaming Let them near and Then theyll be bleeding. You can't make things worse, you already have Maybe someday you can shake this off Maybe laugh. Hours pass, and youre outside his room door Begging on the floor Let me in im sorry Please I just wanted you Safe. Youre allowed in, and greeted with a knife That isnt him, not in those eyes You lay in bed as you watch him sleep You wonder, Why Did you deserve this, because you couldn't let him Die? You stay awake, scared to not have Your eyes Wide Because you already know That he has that knife. Morning comes and your body hurts But nothing compares to the empty Words Please look You beg, to see some sympathy for What he did, so sim-pl-y He sees the purple, the black, the blood But its like it was swept under a rug "What do you want me to say" Nothing. Everything. Something. Its too late
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She holds her throat but that's not enough She can't hold it in The black still seeps from her. Her mouth, her nose, upon her skin She's really fearful now Trying to hold it in But obviously that's not enough The keep the blackness in.
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May 26, 2020
May 26, 2020 at 1:49 PM UTC
Sludge.
She broke two promises and the payment was blood. One to herself and one to him The cuts sliced thin.
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Aug 14, 2019
Aug 14, 2019 at 8:50 AM UTC
Untitled
I saw the pretty sights below, The pretty people, oh what a show. I saw all the cars driving, down the two way, busy road. I saw the edge of the building get nearer, and the goals in my mind became even clearer. The tips of my toes over the edge of that ****** city ledge I turned around And squeezed my eyes tight wanting my last thoughts to be of the city lights. I heard the whistling as i fall backwards From that drop, from that high sky City roof top My mind started reminding me of things that mattered A little too late as I hit the sidewalk with a splatter
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Aug 7, 2019
Aug 7, 2019 at 11:26 PM UTC
One last step
Clawing at my throat I am. I cant seem to breathe. But somehow I am I couldn't stop the crying but now I am And im okay I am Im not still clawing Im not.
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Jun 21, 2019
Jun 21, 2019 at 1:22 AM UTC
Suffocation
It started with a small pit A pit in my stomach A gaping black Hole And then it started with the anxiety And then the uneasy feeling i cant shake And then the panicking And then the trying to not show Emotions on my face And then the feelings bursting out And the silent crying As if that hole in my stomach swallowed Everything. Its not even my stomach anymore Just emptiness Inside this shell thats my skin and bones What happened? How did i go from Happy and okay To not feeling like myself Like im not in control And i dont know what's worse Wanting to scream and beg for help Or not wanting to worry anyone And instead silently screaming As that hole gets wider And darker And deeper. I hope it doesnt consume me I hope ill wake up fine tomorrow I hope
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Jun 21, 2019
Jun 21, 2019 at 12:34 AM UTC
Its not even 11pm yet.
She paused She thought She died.
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Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 8:47 PM UTC
A six worded story
Boys can go either way They can make you laugh They can try and play a game. Make you cry and feel alone And love the sound of your own name There was a boy who did both And im not ashamed That i used to love this boy Until he put me in pain And still i tried And ignored my cries Until i saw the signs And saw the game was played And althought i tried to be fine I just couldnt stay. And now theres a different boy. One who makes me smile In way that makes me see That its been awhile. Im not saying im in love, Or even fully in like But its nice to talk to a boy Who can Brighten my dark night. I know i musnt rush it Or try and choose my fate But lets just truly hope That good things come to those who wait.
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Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 11:37 PM UTC
B O Y
I'm drowning She told me not to trip. But the wires of my mind are wrapping around my thighs And whispers in my head are telling me lies. And the tangles of my thoughts are tight against my socks The wires are as thin as minty floss and they're cutting my skin Over and over i try to hide my sins Over and over im bleeding again But i cant tell if its the wire thats cutting or my own hand Oh how much i miss feeling boring and bland Over and over this repeated message All this noise making the fingers on my hand twitch Making me grab this Making me never miss Only my heart feeds my target Trying to save me Trying to not let me slip I'm just a paper person Isn't that right? Easily torn and easily ignited Im buring and burning and i can't extinguish the fire The ashes are falling And everyone's watching Just another person faking for attention Not a special sight Some even shout "End It." Sometimes i silently say to myself "I might"
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Sep 13, 2018
Sep 13, 2018 at 9:17 PM UTC
Falling
"I'm fine" I say "Im okay" I say " Its not important" I say " I'm not special" I say "Are you sure?" They say "Do you wanna talk?" They say "It matters" They say " You matter" They say... Please don't don't try and read between lines Please ignore the cries that slip from my lips I always say that im fine but really I'm fighting a war inside my mind. Not Just with myself But with my friends My past Oh those midnight cries. "Your over reacting" they start to say "People go through worse, your just having a bad day." How much do i have to try and say its constant? That I'm not happy just existing. And even then i sometimes wish life wasnt a real thing. You all built me up You all made me happy But when it got hard They left and my world Went. C. R. A. S. H. I. N. G Down. They complain how you never ask for help But not when your help decides not to help Is it too much to ask you to save me? Not from people but my brain, its the enemy. Please Help me Before its Too late I dont know how much i can cope With all the false hope Hanging on to the rope Sometimes its easier to just let go My brain is starting to crack me And when i let go i know no one will catch me No, they'd rather sit back or stand Than get depressed teenage blood on their hands. My fingers are slipping Dont know how much longer I'll last Just waking up is even a task I want to sleep A deep sleep. Never wake up. Lots of dreams Im stuck in the grey, and its not what they say. Help me escape. Its almost too late.
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Sep 10, 2018
Sep 10, 2018 at 7:40 PM UTC
Im Fine
"I'm fine" I say "Im okay" I say " Its not important" I say " I'm not special" I say "Are you sure?" They say "Do you wanna talk?" They say "It matters" They say " You matter" They say... Please don't don't try and read between lines Please ignore the cries that slip from my lips I always say that im fine but really I'm fighting a war inside my mind. Not Just with myself But with my friends My past Oh those midnight cries. "Your over reacting" they start to say "People go through worse, your just having a bad day." How much do i have to try and say its constant? That I'm not happy just existing. And even then i sometimes wish life wasnt a real thing. You all built me up You all made me happy But when it got hard They left and my world Went. C. R. A. S. H. I. N. G Down. They complain how you never ask for help But not when your help decides not to help Is it too much to ask you to save me? Not from people but my brain, its the enemy. Please Help me Before its Too late I dont know how much i can cope With all the false hope Hanging on to the rope Sometimes its easier to just let go My brain is starting to crack me And when i let go i know no one will catch me No, they'd rather sit back or stand Than get depressed teenage blood on their hands. My fingers are slipping Dont know how much longer I'll last Just waking up is even a task I want to sleep A deep sleep. Never wake up. Lots of dreams Im stuck in the grey, and its not what they say. Help me escape. Its almost too late.
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