These couple weeks, I haven't felt the same. I don't wanna cry for help, but I'm getting tired of pretending so well. I thought I was going steady. But my mind got the best of me. I don't know why I'm still here, honestly.
If you took a peek inside of my brain you'd find the reasons for all of the blame. Constantly drowning :)
But I'm getting tired and I'm not so well. I guess I'm unsteady because you got the best of me. I hope one day I'll be fine honestly.
Sep 1, 2020
Sep 1, 2020 at 8:35 PM UTC
This isn't easy. I don't know how and what to feel. My mind is a fire and I'm burning love away. It's getting harder to feel. They don't know how it feels to be broken. I can't help it. I feel numb. I'll wait for the waves to leave. I think I'm breaking, I'm a mess in the making. I'm getting tired of the same old feeling in my chest. I'm not a liar, but I've got secrets I can't confess. Don't say you love me, because I don't understand those words. I'm holding on a tightrope. You know I'm not coming home.
Sep 1, 2020
Sep 1, 2020 at 8:26 PM UTC
May there be no future for us,
No happily ever after.
Mar 2, 2020
Mar 2, 2020 at 6:20 PM UTC
The trees lose their leaves, there clothing. I slowly start to lose my grip. My hands have only ever wanted the bark.
The air becomes crisp. The higher you climb the further you fall, the harder it hits. as soon as I lost my grip, I lost you as well.
The temperature drops sharply at night. Just as sharp as the blade I drag across my arms, as the trees lose there clothing I add on, long sleeves and pants to cover the "bark"
The touch of you makes me quiver and it fixes my line of sight
Jul 30, 2019
Jul 30, 2019 at 11:46 AM UTC
I’m not a slave to a god that doesn’t exist.
I'm a slave to a world that doesn’t give a ****
May 19, 2019
May 19, 2019 at 12:18 AM UTC
I honestly believe human beings are not meant to live like this. We are meant to live in loving communities and be around nature every day and grow our own food and create art and not work day and night until we die. This longing for another life is not human nature, it’s a symptom of modern society.
You can be angry about things but still make the conscious decision not to be cruel. When we remind each other to be kind, we’re not saying don’t be mad. There’s a lot of stuff to be mad about right now. But you can still be a kind and patient person. You don’t have to be mean to other people. You can choose.
May 17, 2019
May 17, 2019 at 1:01 AM UTC
A look back from the past week
From a first
hey, what's your name
To a
"hey, it's I.H"
Then a
Good luck in your 2 mile
Later.
Hey, thanks for putting up with me today
"Not at all the case, I enjoyed it, in fact talking to you was completely out of my comfort zone."
To sharing poetry and helping me through some things to slowly working my way to become a better person.
A simple argument
I'm a pineapple and I want to argue about it!
"but there's no reason to argue about it."
But I wanna.
A conversation how sandwiches are the ideal food and some realism .
to telling me
"but you’re a lot more confident than I expected. It takes guts to just walk up and talk to a random stranger. You’re good at putting up a façade, concealing your true feelings and emotions."
Then life sets in and you leave in July and you're most likely never coming back but still in an attempt to keep in touch.
Take care.
I wish you the best of luck.
Until we meet again.
Apr 15, 2019
Apr 15, 2019 at 3:29 AM UTC
What if you know you found the one, but every minute of the day feel like you don’t deserve them because you are worthless and not believing a single thing of what they say to you because past relationships messed you up so bad that you have trust issues.
Seeing every compliment as a lie because in your head it is simply not possible for someone to look at you that way.
You make up the worst scenarios in your head of them leaving you but, you are too scared to tell them because they might actually do.
Waking up every single night crying because in your dreams they don’t want to be with you, like you always expected. It feels like loving me is a job not something you do because you actually love me. I worry about everything.
I overreact half of the time and I push you away when I need you the most.
I need constant reassurance and god I hate it so much.
There is always this fear of not knowing what someone actually thinks about you because the voices in your head are screaming at the sweet words he tells you.
I say ‘sorry’ 20 times a day because I actually think I insulted you in some way and the smallest arguments seem like the end of the world. I cry and panic over the smallest things and I ask if I am annoying at least 3 times a day because I believe I am.
I cry every time you have to go home or when you leave because it might be the last time I get to see you even though I know that’s not true.
I never expected finding the love of my life would also be one of the most painful things ever.
Apr 14, 2019
Apr 14, 2019 at 11:52 PM UTC
I like to be left alone, but when people don't notice i'm absent. It hurts.
And I know it's my own fault for being invisible, for isolating myself.
But just once I want someone to notice my absence and truly care. Care for me and all my mistakes.
Apr 7, 2019
Apr 7, 2019 at 11:27 PM UTC
I draw
Not with pencils
but with blades.
It's not for attention, if it was i'd be the person that takes a picture and posts it or show my arm to you just for the pity.
I keep it to myself, covered up like my emotions.
It's a silent war.
Apr 6, 2019
Apr 6, 2019 at 10:26 PM UTC