I've yet to meet another human such as yourself,
All other that I came to love at some point in time came a dime a dozen. I knew it then, I know it now.
But those days where you held my hand sparks did not fly, no. Tectonic plates crashed within my veins, sending quakes straight into my aorta and stopped my heart until the day you kissed my nose, my innards grew from bone, skin, muscle. To bark, leaves, and flowers.
Not only did you revitalize the heart you stopped but made it something so much more beautiful, a bleeding heart, just like the ones that grew outside my window when I was little.
And when I learned the kind of person you chose over me after months of gentle sun and careful watering I felt my lungs collapse and all I want to do with these useless sacks is drown them with rocks and try to relive the rumbling you once put in them with the smallest of gestures that obviously meant so much more than meant, because to sleep at night I need to tell myself my love for you is a **** and will consume all if gone unrequited. But when our skin touches or when my eyes meet the gleaming grin of such a work of art I feel a black hole in my chest for this desire will swallow up my stars and I want to never love again because you are the end game, my end game.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 9:15 AM UTC
A dear friend once told me my love flows like a windmill.
Another that I have an old-timey love.
And to myself I have a fool's love.
Because when you loved, no matter what you saw a goddess.
When you loved, you showered them in affection and gave them all your time.
And called it modern love, for being a monotheistic prayer.
This is a dangerous love to give, when you needed a breath from all from all those hail mary's & asked for a little in return, that's when it starts.
Like a spoiled child with a god complex they react with distance, or abuse, or leaving. It didn't matter, Because I deserve so much more
So I say to myself drop that old-timey love & treat your lover a god and yourself a deity. Time to go polytheistic.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 11:05 PM UTC
My Achilles heel is my heart, My body is made of strong, lean muscles.
Not a single broken bone.
Only a broken heart, 5 times over.
My love has never been matched, everything feels half-assed.
So drink that wine & smoke your 100's.
I'll sip this ***** & breathe the smoke that eludes you, maybe *** a drag or two.
Because you burned the bridge I was too scared to cross. It appears for good reason.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 1:35 PM UTC
My biggest fear is to lose the one friend who cared more after I moved, rather than all the people who cared in convenience.
I remember all of the things you done for me, to bide my rupturing soul.
I used to think you were sealant.
But I feel myself crumbling to my feet.
And if we don't talk by two weeks time, I promise I will never depend on a single person or thing as I did you.
You tricked my subconscious to trust and put a meaning to forever.
Of all people I thought you would understand a drunken mistake.
This I had a right to say.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 1:29 PM UTC
You were a beautiful, late 70's Firebird. Charging through life with the power of 100 horses, easily going 40 over the limit from day one.
During the summer I became a stormy night, The ditch that caught you when he turned into an oil slick. I got to hold you for some time.
She is your tow truck, arriving just as you started to welcome me as a home.
All the while, since the day I met you. You became a shelter for the storm that has been brewing for years.
Now you are gone & let me tell you something darling, It's ******* hurricane season, and I'm just a lighting rod, all I feel is the lighting ripping my chest apart more and more with every strike.
I might as well be one of your father's burger wrappers because you threw me out with a slight sense of disgust and ease.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 1:19 PM UTC
How could you of chosen her to tend to your lips & to take your love
When I'm the one you call sobbing out of fear of a place that condemns the love you give her, 30 minutes doesnt matter then, huh?
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 1:12 PM UTC
Of course you meant more to me, then I did you.
When I thought we were close as could be, when all I could think of was the one last thing I needed to build the courage to kiss you, all the while you were becoming acquainted with anothers.
If it's all the same please don't sing her the same love songs, give me that much.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 1:10 PM UTC
When I walk I feel the earth quake & tremble beneath me.
Or I feel the vibrations caused by all living matter, & I'm scared knowing a single raindrop could drown me.
Or I'm so happy that I feel the rhythm of every individual molecule that makes up all that I am.
So please help me steady my heart, because I need a way out of this ride.
And I'll get it one way or another.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 12:24 PM UTC
You taught me to branch my love out,
To expand my mind.
But my love always sourced back to you.
Until you became the reason I need ***** and Tequila
To stop my heart imploding at 12:45 AM every night.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 12:18 PM UTC
I used to see more than the cosmos in you, your eyes held them.
Your lips a forest I could spend my whole life exploring & die still not having enough.
Your hands roots of a rose bush seeping into my chest & to my heart.
Sharing your nutrients to help me grow,
Your mind the greatest unwritten poem, the greatest work of art that'll never be exhibited in an art gallery, even if it were to be put into one your dying wish would that it be sent to a public gallery that didn't charge because you hate capitalism.
But now you are a great big ball of old flame, high and mighty in the sky.
There's a huge distance between the two of us but I can still feel your warmth radiating from you & the dark when you are away. But you are the sun, staring or thinking of you hurts my eyes & the pain shoots to my head and throughout my body.
The time I spent trying to win your heart is the equivalent of the time a pregnant person would take to give birth to a premature baby.
And the time I've had these feelings is the time it would take such baby to learn how to walk.
So I hope she loves your floral dresses & the way your poetry echoes in the fullest of rooms. But most of all I hope she loves you.
Because you acted like all those who came before you were ******** , but only knew my side of the story, and from my side of the story you hurt just as much as the black haired girl who got me into drinking after she broke my heart.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 12:09 PM UTC