I don’t think I miss you anymore.
What a blessing
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 1:41 AM UTC
Today it was the cracking of my shoulder muscles that made me remember the nights where you would lie on the floor of your room and stretch your hips and legs so they wouldn't hurt and keep you up at night. I would lie right next to you and we would silently be looking at our phones and holding hands. You never asked me to lie with you, I just always wanted to be close to you.
Apr 29, 2020
Apr 29, 2020 at 1:32 AM UTC
I remember you pulling me back to you in the morning, any morning, pulling your head to my chest and i would ask if you were happy there and you would nod. Using the movement to wedge yourself closer to me, i would kiss the crown of your head and this unrestricted happiness would wave over me. I would push my exit to the last possible minute, i wanted to stay in that bed with you for as long as i could, to absorb as much of this half-awake love as i could. You were happy in my arms, with your head nuzzled in my collar bones. I only got that sappy kind of love out of you in the mornings, or when you were completely smashed, when you were half-awake and your inhibitions weren’t telling you to stop wasting precious resources on someone who can’t shape your future. I only got this kind of love out of you when you were purring sweet little childish sleeping sounds into my skin, when the words “i love you” don’t even need to be said because i knew with all of my being that this spot is exactly where i was supposed to be. Even now, i’m not even sure i was wrong to think that. I’m not holding out for you, i’m just missing your love, even a love I only got in the morning.
Apr 18, 2020
Apr 18, 2020 at 6:37 PM UTC