A single tear flow
as my ink leaves some
pretense of what
might be my legacy.
I want to rest
a long sleep
The long night
of stillness,
where winter
as come and time
has no end
and becomes
a usless analogy,
a measure of
the human psyche
I am dying
each day, minute
and second of my life
From the very first
second that I was
thrown onto this
Drifting piece of rock
Only that,
I don't want to wait,
a death bestowed
upon me by any human
or divine intervention
unbiased,
unprejudiced,
a fair chance at death
I am tired, shallow and fearful.
empty, lonely, repulsive, forgotten
and unloved
unworthy to leave
any tracks of who I am
Some think of me
as a poet, a nightingale
of dreams, a counselor
a friend
who always has
inspired words
of beauty and sentiments
and emotions.
I am no such thing.
I am a child,
jailed in a body
of a man, frightened
of my own thoughts.
I am a victim of life,
a useless piece of flesh,
so ugly and inadequate,
who can't see a reason
to genuinely smile,
who talks alone,
who walks, restless throughout
sleepless nights and is not
really wanted
I'm a repulsive piece
of meat, put together
by mistake on an assembly line.
I just want my beauty sleep
the endless kind for those
who have been neglected
and have left of them
no memories.
I am one step closer.
Oh Creator if you are really there
give me strenght to make the terrifying leap into the unknown
and let me rest.
To those I've loved
as companions
on this journey
I ask to be placed
under the shade
of a coconut tree,
so as I may give
food to the hunger
of those whom have
allowed me to pass
and my ashes will
make good feed
for the birds,
the bees
and the sons and daughters of man.
So there I said it, I write it and put it out in the world to see, so at least one person will know
I am waiting for the end to come.
Apr 13, 2019
Apr 13, 2019 at 1:03 PM UTC
She doesn’t care if your heart is broken
Shee doesn’t care if it feels like every bone in your body breaks
With every move you make
She doesn’t know you’re gone
While all I do is notice
She will not cry about you being gone
But all you can do is choke back the tears
Shaking some sense into yourself
In hopes you won’t you won’t fall apart in the night
Why do I always make the same mistakes?
Trusting people who will hurt me in the same way
Over and over again
They've cause my heart so much pain
A pain you carry with you
Throughout everyday
It stalks you like a demon
Demanding to be heard
No, Declaring it will be heard
So you take a deep breath and look up into the sky, slowly closing your eyes trying to build your walls
In an attempt to shut everything out
So you can focus on not missing
The people who didn't break you
The people who are still there
But in your Castle
The only things that can find you
Are the demons
Apr 13, 2019
Apr 13, 2019 at 12:41 PM UTC
I never knew that my mind could attack me like this.
Falling in and out of my emotions
there is no stable ground beneath me.
I'm drowing.
I try to side with denial,
but like friendships it never lasts.
I try to smile to cover up the pain
but I'm not allowed to be feel
even if its for a little while.
It feels like I've been sentenced life in my thoughts,
that's worse than a death sentence
I've tried to fill myself with god's words but I guess I'm doing it wrong
cause I've never been more empty.
They say happiness will come to you
if you know Jesus, I guess we're complete strangers.
They don't understand, hope doesn't understand despair.
I feel deserted because I am alone.
Because my body won't let me back in
Becuase I'm searching for someone to see me clawing behind the gloom in my eyes
Please, help me get out
I've been so desperately searching.
Does anyone notice, please?
Do you not see the frown behind my smile?
Can anyone hear the sadness thats caresses my laughter?
No one...just me...again, but how much more of myself can I take?
Emotions slowly leave the home that was my heart.
This body is not my own
I take care of it,
but it couldn't careless
I don't evdn belong here, ****
I suppose the only friends I have are the monsters that have taken over. The life playing in my head, is my death sentence
Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 10:42 AM UTC
I'm a creep and I'm a ******
they all say so
because I always have a book in my face
because my thoughts aren't controlled by second head
because I'm black so can I be a metalhead
I'm a creep and I'm a ******
they all say so
because my humor is dark
because I let my natural hair grow free
because I don't fit in their little box
But honestly,
I think they're the creeps
They are the ones afraid to be themselves
They are the ones who worships corporate Machines
They are the ones who life is controlled by what others think
But whatever,
Yeah I an creep and I'm a ******
all the other weirdos say so
Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 10:40 AM UTC
I am like a tree
with its hard exterior,
cold, I stand alone.
Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 10:28 AM UTC
As I try to put my words
Together to create a dramatic tale
Since I found you so dynamic
Your cryptic ways made me frantic
The traffic in my mind
Made me panic,
But you were stoic in your delivery
I got ahead of myself,possibly thinking we were magic
But we're just tragic
Friends? Honestly I think that might be epic!
Sadly I will feel ugly, but only for today as I'm happy
Truthfully I would love to be friends
Welll ain't that poetic
Mar 22, 2019
Mar 22, 2019 at 11:29 PM UTC
I'm sorry, I'm hungry
You've been on my mind
for some time now.
My desire is spreading
Wildfire, burning the pages
Of your book in my memories
Miss your smile.
Miss your talk.
Miss your body.
I miss you.
I understand,
but I'm stubborn,
why I can't reach you
left here all alone,
cold
hungry
starving
for you,
feeling empty
of you.
I crave you.
I want you
I'm not blind
I understand
Love and lust.
I don’t think you ever loved me
I just satisfied your cravings.
My thirst won't be quenched
Now open are my eyes
I'm moving on, more
Thinking of, you less
But, from deep in my soul
I feel you must know
that I was longing for you
on Sunday.
Mar 22, 2019
Mar 22, 2019 at 11:20 PM UTC
Clutching my pillow,
body draped in sweat.
All of a sudden.
I can hardly breathe.
My heart had been ripped
apart,and I had awoken again.
A recurring Nightmare
My death I constantly see.
Every night it haunts me,
it pains my lively-hood.
Death so engulfing that
suffocating sensation,
the thought of fading into
nothingness, it scares the
living **** out of me.
I cant change it, I cant
stop dreaming my constant demise.
Then as I slowing lay down,
it hurts knowing that this
was only my first fright
for the Night.
Mar 22, 2019
Mar 22, 2019 at 10:46 PM UTC
My Inspiration came from
heartache, sadness and anger.
My creativity is as been gone
for a while now
and all I can do is put
pitiful phrases
together in neat little lines
uneven stubby lines
and hope they pass as second-rate poetry.
My ingenuity as been gone
for a while now
because the heartache,pain and anger
are gone...
because I'm happy
and even if it lasts for a day
at least I'll remember that
I was smiling that day
Mar 22, 2019
Mar 22, 2019 at 10:41 PM UTC
Not Long Ago,
I loved you, my rock and my soul
So I loved you , because you were different from all the others
I had know, because of your courage;
your skin like the earth,
your mind like the ocean
and your smile not realizing how misleading your smile
But you became distant, the days, weeks, turned to months
and the phone calls pivoted to nothing.
I texted you, came to you, talked to you, wrote to you but
You never acknowledged me.
Then I had learned the reason behind your sudden separation
I was crushed, devastated as my fragile world shattered apart
I tried to hide the pain; and decided to move on.
Then I saw you with him, and you told me why
sundently it came back flooding into my chest like a tsunami
The sensation, feeling that you had left me like a castaway
from a shipwreck was more than enough
But to tell me "I wanted to just try it once" made it even more insufferable
Mar 21, 2019
Mar 21, 2019 at 10:24 PM UTC